request

R

rev_jch

Joined
Jul 29, 2002
Messages
3,228
Everyone, I have a request for you. Some of you know me personally, some do not.

For all of you I would ask you keep me in your prayers.

I have been going through a difficult time with my wife. Between the continual harrassment of my ex-wife, the financial burdens my wife and I have associated with this, and my wife's lupus. It has been much for the both of us.

To my deep dissappointment my wife has anounced her intentions of divorcing me this morning. I have been told that there is nothing I can to try and work on the marriage. She does not want to be a preachers wife any longer. She has chosen a life that does not include being a minister's wife. She does not want to, and has no intentions of working on it.

Right now I am hurting very badly. I would ask that you keep me in prayer.

The Lord has asked me to continue to love her as I should, and not allow my own hurt to get in the way. It certainly is easier to say, than do. What makes it so much harder for me. Is that I love my wife deeply and it is like having my heart "crushed" to know that she does not love me. Nor does she want anything to do with me any longer.

Please remember me when you are in prayer. And remember Dawn also. Like all of us she needs to know that only Jesus can make her happy. And only He will love her as she should, not the world, or the things, or people of the world. Not me, nor another man, nor anyone else, not her new friends she is with now, but only Jesus will fulfill her.

The company she has kept these days has unfortunately convinced her that, "the grass is greener on the other side".

I am not so much angry, as just very hurt. So I would ask all of you to pray for her instead of being angry. She needs Jesus. And as hard as it is for me right now. I know I must continue to love her past the hurt she is causing me.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Sincerely in Christ's love and deep affection,

John
 
So sorry to hear you are going through this. You will be in our thoughts and prayers in this house.
 
Thank you guys I really appreciate it. This is my second marriage and Ive been through so much. The 1st wife left me for another man and took my girls away. I have not seen them in 8 years. Their mom has almost financially ruined me by bleeding me for child support. recently, my wife has been under much stress at work, and then my ex-wife lied in court and got away with saying she had no income so they raised my support to 43%. Which means she now gets half my take home pay per month. this and other factors (her lupus) have caused us problems in our marriage, and my wife has walked away.

I love her deeply and it really hurts in an awful way. She tells me its over, than gets on the phone talking to her friends like nothing happend. While I stand there with my heart in my stomach. Im amazed. But more than anything, really hurt. It was hard for me to get married to her after what I had been through with my 1st wife. I really thought that she loved me. I feel pretty much like an idiot, finding out she never did.

I have not been able to sleep in almost two days now, and I am so worn out.
 
Take some deep breaths, let go, pray and put it in God's hands. Get your focus off of this and on the future. As a preacher, you need to know that people you don't even know yet need you. Get some sleep. We are praying.
 
John, Prayers for your strength in all ways through God.
 
Having in the past been through the heartbreak of which you speak, I have no sage advice. One would think that through experience one would have gained some great insight. However this I know for sure....as long as we are still breathing the dawn will break anew tomorrow and the possibly for change still lives. As you try your best to make sense of what is happening to you, gather close to you your friends, and do not hesitate to LEAN. At certain times in our lives, we all must allow ourselves to be supported by another, and only by doing so can we later become available to others in their time of need. Do not make the mistake of isolating yourself from others....and do not, as I have said, hesitate to lean on your friends. Lean as LONG and as HARD as you us must ! Friends are built to carry the weight.
My best thoughts and prayers go out to you.

-Peace
 
Hey Rev, I'm not a praying man. However, my thoughts are with you. All I can say is, everything happens for a reason. We spend all our lives asking from God. We want peace. We want happiness. We want love. We want all these good things. However, what we don't always realize is that God KNOWS what's good for us, and like a parent who HAS to say no to their child for their own good, he sometimes says no to the path we have chosen for ourselves. We may WANT it, but it's not always wht we need, nor is it always what's best for us. I don't know anything about your relationship with your wife, nor your previous wife, other then what you have told us, but you obviously made a big investment in them, as you should have. Time, energy, emotion, financially, you name it, we pour all these things into our relationships, and thus we become fixated on them. It gets really hard to let go when the time comes. And where as sometimes, again, like a parent, God let's us fall so we can learn what not to do for ourselves, sometimes He puts his foot down. You are a man of God, and He is saying "John,this is not the right one." Like I said, everything happens for a reason. God knows what He's doing. She doesn't want to be married to you any longer. She doesn't want to work on it. She is easily influenced by her friends. She's not yours anymore. Your ex wife harrassing you? Hey, God took everything away from Job, testing his faith. Maybe these are your tests. As hard as it is right now, have faith John. Trust that God is doing what's right for you. Remember, He may not always give you what you want, but He always gives you what you need.
 
Rev,


Be strong and keep your faith. Some times, the Lord works in mysterious ways.
 
Hi there John,

><> Its hard to give comforting advice to any fellows going through these type of women issues.

><> Your pain is great, I know this for a fact. However, your pain will eventually turn into anger if it hasn't already.. Please do not give in to the anger and permit yourself to do or say anything you will regret later. Be thoughtful about your steps and plan your actions..Think good and pure thoughts. Pray for advice every step of the way.. Stay away from drugs and booze!

><> Get some respite from this situation.. Hang out with a Brother or a Friend and lean on your strongest support team.. Read the good book daily!.

><> Gramps has the right idea as well!. Seek advisement think it through and then make up your own mind.

~ ><> ~ Prayers for John and Company ~ ><> ~
 
Guys, thank you. I am coming to grips that this is final. It feels pretty lonely, but God is with me, He will see me through it. I know I am His son and He would not allow it to happen if it were not for my own good. I love Dawn, but she is in His hands now. I still pray for her. But I understand I cannot make her stay if she does not want too. I was blaming myself, but Now I know that even though I was not a perfect husband, I truly loved her, and was not that bad.

Right now I am digesting all that is happening, and staying in church as much as I can, so I can have the support I need. From the Lord, and the body of Christ. Its all I have, but I am finding out, it really is all I need. It will take time to heal, and I will just have to take it one day at time. Not easy for someone like me who is impatient. But I know if I give the Lord the time to help me, it will be well worth it in the end.

Please continue to pray for me, this is a very hard time of year. Ironically, my first wife left me right before thanksgiving too! Please pray for my wife, she so badly needs Jesus in her life, and unfortunately she believes the world will make her happy. But only God can truly satisfy any of us the way we were meant to be. This world is a lonely place without Him. People will always let you down, they? Us? We all?! Are just imperfect. But God is not. And at least He loves us, and His love does not change.
 
Keep holding on to Him. Don't forget that people don't always let you down, they help you up (and out) too. Keep looking for Jesus in stranger's faces until you meet Him everyday. When things are tough, that's how to make it through. In peace, still praying.
 
Remember Rev, a diamond is nothing more then the result of constant pressure. Tough times never last. Tough people do. Keep your head up.
 
Thanks guys, I am making it with the Lord's help. Its just hard. I never dreamed she would have done this.
 
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