Reuniting with Family After Disaster: Got Plans?

R

Return of the J.D.

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Nov 29, 2005
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One factor that I think bears special attention in disaster preparation: how will you link back up with family members after the SHTF?

Obvious factors going into this will be consideration of where you and the others will (or may) be if there is any kind of catastrophe. Will you need one kit, or will you need two or three to enable all parties to make it to the agreed-upon rendezvous? The rendezvous point itself bears some consideration: you'll need a place capable of supporting life, preferably not oversubscribed so that all 2 million refugees from your devastated metro area are all camped out there before you arrive; it's got to be a place you can get to if there's disaster-escape level traffic (complete with out-of-fuel cars, women giving birth in the roadway, quarantine checkpoints manned by corrupt officials, Al-Qaeda saboteurs or Korean bombs damaging roadways, etc.) It's got to be findable by those in your family who may be less resourceful at disaster navigation and travel than you are. Ideally, you'd want a fallback rendezvous point. Probably you'd also want an agreed-upon means of leaving a message, to tell the others you've survived, and perhaps where you're headed if you've needed to set out for someplace different.

My own thinking on this has evolved a great deal--starting from "no plan whatsoever" (which sorry state lasted for quite a while after I began assembling basic bugout bags and thinking about essentials like food and water). For a while, I'd selected a rendezvous point conveniently outside the city limits, but I eventually admitted to myself that the original selected spot was accessible only by a freeway with spectacular cliffs on either side, which freeway clogs up completely whenever traffic gets slow, and which would end up becoming an absolute parking lot in the event of a disaster. I thereupon re-thought the evacuation and rendezvous plan, choosing a surface-accessible site with surrounding terrain more crossable without specialized transportation. I've kept cards detailing the route and site sticking out of pockets in our bugout bags, with "evacuation plan" labels emphasized with highlighter, just to make them easily findable if they are needed.

I realize that there is still a great deal to be done on this, and that even a complete unannounced or semi-unannounced dry run (maybe complete with overnight campout, for the amusement of the kids) would be a good idea.

What thoughts has everybody else had on this? What bright ideas? For those of you who, like me, left such considerations out of your survival planning, would it not wreck your afternoon to fight your way back through hordes of marauders, looters, and the usual post-apocalyptic bad guys, only to discover that your girl, having presumed you dead, was now married to Mad Max? Nice to diminish the odds of any such eventuality, eh?

Kidding aside, what have y'all done by way of preparation in this regard?
 
My bug out plan is to not bug out. The geography and population of silicon valley pretty much guarantees that we won't be able to go anywhere in a hurry in the event of SHTF, unless we get lucky and find air transport.

So the plan is to get home and hunker down until the streets calm down.

Therefore, my most important concern in the immediate aftermath of a earthquake or something like it, is communications between my wife and myself, so that we can coordinate our movements, get the kids, etc. To this end, I've been teaching her how to use text messaging on her cell phone. When all the phone lines are down, and cellular calls aren't going through, often text messages will be working.

Since my wife and I have unpredictable patterns of movement, depending on what we're doing on any given day, and since the kids are way too young to head home on their own in any scenario, this is the best we can do at the moment.

It makes me a little nervous, though.
 
Glad you're thinking things through, Bulgron. (I'd work through the possibility of text messaging going down, too, just in case.) Also, his & hers bugout kits, one in each usual vehicle, might be good if you and she are usually in unpredictable places. I realized some years ago that my car is almost always very near wherever I am, and is thus a great place for a basic kit. Make sure you have water!
 
I work out of my home, so I'm already here 90% of the time during normal business hours. When I leave the house, about half of the time I'm on foot or on a bicycle. During business hours, I'm rarely more than a mile or two from my house, except for business trips.

My wife, on the other hand, is all over the place. Her office is 45 minutes from our house. She's there between 50% and 90% of her time. If she isn't at her office, she's working here from home, or at a customer's site that can be almost anywhere in the bay area, or volunteering at the school (I volunteer at the school as well).

During non business hours, we're both all over the place, running kids to events, going out to different social and political events, etc. We might be together, and we might not be. We might have the kids with us, and we might not. It's simply unpredictable.

So the key thing has been to get a bug-out kit in her vehicle, since she's the one who travels farthest from home the most frequently. I usually carry some kind of a PSK with me in my normal wanderings, either in my jacket pockets or in a man bag, so that isn't a an issue.

The tricky part is my wife isn't as focused on disaster planning as I am. So I have to be a little sneaky about things. :)

She put a case of bottled water in the back of her car on her own, so I didn't have to worry about that.

I managed to get her to agree to always carry a flashlight in her purse. I did this based on the idea that the power might go out while she's at work, and she works in a fairly rural area so things could get dark on her, quick. For this, I went with a surefire E2E because the lithium batteries have a 10 year shelf life. Surefires are also pretty indistructable, so I don't have to worry about the thing breaking on her just when she needs it the most.

Then I stuck backup batteries and a spare bulb in her car, and let her know I'd done that. I also stuck a normal incandescent flashlight in her car, along with spare batteries. But those things always seem to be dead when you go to use them, so I don't really think that counts.

Also, we drove to AZ last winter, which meant that I loaded up some storage space in her car with fix-a-flat, jumper cables, various tools, duct tape, paracord, etc. And I sort of never took that stuff out of there. :) So now she has it, even though she didn't really want it. :) :) Fortunately, she knows how to use all that stuff, so if it came right down to it she'd be ok.

Next thing was a multitool. So for mother's day I got her a leatherman juice xe6. It's purple. She loves it.

I'm not sure what else I can do for her. I've thought about setting up a rendevous point halfway between our house and her office, so if things go bad I can go there and wait for her. But with little kids, running off into jammed freeways seems like a bad idea. She'll just have to make it home on her own.

As for communications, if things are so bad that text messaging isn't even working, I'm not sure what else we could do. Considering the distances that can be involved, radios won't work, unless we got into ham radio in a big way. But good luck getting her to go along with getting a license....

There's a limit to how much you can get someone else to be prepared who isn't as concerned as maybe they should be, ya know?

If I lived in a little bit less crazy of an area, I'd buy a vacation cabin 2 - 3 hours away from where I live, and hopefully many hours away from any big city. Then I'd make that our rendevous point, and stock it with all the things I might need to outlast a flu pandemic type event. But unfortunately, where I live, there's zero chance that I'd actually make it to a place like that in the event of out and out panic in the streets. So it isn't a priority. Although, I someday want that cabin in the woods anyway, just so I can get away from it all. :)
 
Sounds like you've thought it through a good deal. I relate about bringing the wife along in terms of interest in preparedness; even getting her to carry a pocketknife was a bit of a struggle. The full-canteens-in-the-van thing has gotten more buy-in, as she and the kids now have something to drink from regularly--I've just got to keep them filled up, is the trick. (Criticism on that gave way to appreciation after a friend of ours, who was pregnant at the time, was stranded by the side of the road and began having premature contractions after she got very dehydrated.) A couple of outdoor birthday parties during cold weather persuaded her that I wasn't crazy to be leaving a lot of brightly-colored knit caps in the van.
 
We have a family plan that we review every few months. There is a common meeting place if we are in our hometown. My wife and I now work locally not far from our son's school.

He carries a state ID card and has a code word should someone need to fetch him other than us.

Both vehicles have basic PSK and are always maintained and at least 1/2 full with gas,almost a luxury these days.

We have also established an out of town contact as a means of centralizing information.

Ideally, we would stay put but with flooding in our area, that is not always possible.

Finally, we have an RV at an RV park a couple hours away in a remote area that is stocked for weekend getaways and would be sufficient should we need to be away for any length of time.
 
While I find this discussion interesting and often well thought out on many details there is one thing I would like to ask: what is the most likely TEOTWAWKI situation you expect and how likely that actually is.

I live in a part of the world with no earthquakes, VERY few tornadoes, few serious storms. I think the most likely serious situation would be that Mr. Putin would like to visit us like in WW2. Nothing much one can do for that!

TLM
 
TLM said:
While I find this discussion interesting and often well thought out on many details there is one thing I would like to ask: what is the most likely TEOTWAWKI situation you expect and how likely that actually is.

I live in a part of the world with no earthquakes, VERY few tornadoes, few serious storms. I think the most likely serious situation would be that Mr. Putin would like to visit us like in WW2. Nothing much one can do for that!

TLM
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Disaster planning has to begin with threat assessment.

For my family, it's:

1. Fire in the home.
2. Major storm taking out power
3. Earthquake
4. Flu pandemic
5. Terrorist attack (I consider this to be a very remote, but not a non-zero, probability).

Those are the big, hard hitting, fast things. You also need to think about "long emergencies." These are emergencies that develop over a long period of time, don't pose an immediate threat but can result in serious civil unrest if they persist. For me, there are two such threats: gas shortages and water shortages. Both are possible, and even likely, to visit the bay area either on their own or in conjunction with one of the "big 5" that I listed above.

You should have a plan in place to deal with all such events. Of course, the threats to you will differ depending on your geographical location.
 
J.D I have been reveiwing my disaster preparation and like you i need some real help on my rendezvous point for my wiveanf myself. I have my bug-out and bug-in complete but, don't any real plan to get out of way of any emergencies. any advice would be helpful.
 
I think my simple plan is pretty good. My wife and I work at the same school, and my daughter has daycare nearby. Rather than trying to get home, our plan is to stay at the school (where we'd probably be anyway), which has its own water supply, emergency generator, food for 1200 students (most of whom would go home, I imagine), showers, tools (woodshop, metal shop), nurse's office with medical supplies, etc.
 
I agree with those above who've identified "identifying likely disaster scenarios" as a first step. This, of course, puts a premium on thinking a little ways outside your community's box, since it's the disasters for which almost nobody's prepared that may be the biggest headache. While this doesn't QUITE mean you ought to prepare for a tsunami in Denver, it does mean trying to set aside the assumptions you share just because you are used to taking electricity, water, etc. for granted.

I live in a desert city. The major nearby rivers are now typically dry for many months out of the year, and it really may be almost a 30-mile drive to the nearest "I've-never-seen-it-dry-up" river. There are ponds, seasonal rivers, hidden desert waterholes, swimming pools, golf-course water hazards, soda machines, and bars between here and there, but with temperatures that can hit 122 Fahrenheit / 50 Centigrade in the shade two meters off the ground, I have to keep water as a major consideration in choosing a bugout spot, and any route thereto. I have to admit to myself that it takes a lot of machines and society working right to get enough water to me and the millions of others in my town to make that happen--and it wouldn't take very long for any cutoff of water from far away (even, say, as the result of a long continuation of the multi-year drought we're in right now) to make most of my city unliveable, and lower the value of my home lot to near-zero.

Hurricanes? No problem--by the time any such thing hits here, it's weakened to a not-too-heavy rain. Tornadoes? Can happen; they're rare; they're usually localized. Not too many trees here, which would make recovery easier than in heavily forested areas. (Experienced a couple of tornadoes in Nashville, TN--these dropped lots of trees on a lot of power lines and roads, knocking out electricity for days and making many roads impassable.) Think through the implications of each kind of disruption--e.g., power going out may mean your home suddenly becomes too cold, if you live in the far north, or quite hot indeed, if you live in a desert. Think through each season of the year, and how much trouble your survival (and that of each family member) would be if you had to do it starting out with only, say, a swimsuit on you. That'll get you thinking along the right track.

Then, think of where you, and your people you are planning for, spend time. For me, much of it is at work, several miles' commute from home. My wife stays home with our several small kids, but occasionally drives them places. This has translated into multiple levels of survival kit in various places. At home, I keep multiple heavy-duty bugout bags, food, heavy-duty water purifiers, lots of literature on primitive technology, even seeds for desert-adapted crops--thus, highest level of preparedness even for long-term problems is there. In each car I have water, food for several days, tents with enough space for the people likely to be carried by that vehicle, navigation and survival equipment, water purification equipment--that kind of thing. In my office I have a fanny-pack kit, a few canteens of water, a few days' food; less than I keep in the car (which goes most places I do), but enough that if I really had to forego the car and hike home, I could travel light and get there in two or three days' walk, if more-or-less-straight travel were possible. (If there were major urban unrest, things could get trickier, as most of the way is urban, and some of the intervening neighborhoods are a bit questionable.)

Work into your rendezvous plans things like caring for little ones (e.g., if you've got a nursing baby, you may be glad to have at least an empty baby bottle and a can of formula wherever the baby's likely to be, in case your wife happens to be unavailable after a disaster.) Think through likely effects such as skyrocketing fuel prices, shortly followed by fuel unavailability, and massive road congestion. Are there "choke points" on your proposed route, such that disasters or road congestion could easily block them? Think through ways around such spots, preferably ways that not everybody else will think of.

Finally, remember that having family and close friends--especially ones with survival-crucial skills such as medical and mechanical knowledge--are among the best things to have with you in an emergency.

That, EagerRunner, is about the best I can offer in terms of planning advice. One thing I didn't go into too much detail about is how to address the possibility that you and others will arrive at your chosen rendezvous point at very different times. In the past, my wife and I have agreed on places to look for and leave notes (plastic-bagged for weather-resistance) in case we get to, and later leave, a rendezvous spot. (Need I say that having a pencil, some index cards for note-writing, and small, transparent plastic bags in your kit might be useful for this?) Keys to this will be finding a place that won't get lots of attention from thousands of fellow refugees, won't be changed beyond recognition every six months, and yet will be easily-enough found. Your own local considerations will dictate what this might be--maybe written on a wall near the rendezvous spot, or under a piece of duct tape on a light pole or speed-limit sign. You might give some thought to using initials or other means of keeping the message your wife leaves you from becoming an announcement that an unaccompanied woman is heading for X location carrying food and supplies and other valuables, just in case the message gets read by someone of less-noble intentions.
 
A very important topic to consider.
Just yersterday I posted a thread entitled "Survival Comm" on another sight that dealt with the communication aspect of contacting family and friends during a crisis.
My main concern was lack of cell phone and landline comm., and what would be a feasable alternative. The best response was using a HAM radio in conjunction with Morse code; HAM's are more powerful, and have more range,so I was told, than a CB radio. There are privately owned repeater towers that can extend the range of whatever unit being used as well.

Probably you'd also want an agreed-upon means of leaving a message, to tell the others you've survived, and perhaps where you're headed if you've needed to set out for someplace different.
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I mentioned in that thread that transients back in the 1930's used to use their own symbols, in designated ares along railroad lines, roads and highways,parks, etc. to let each other know about what was in store for them up the road or about the inhabitants in a nearby city. It was a sort of "hobo hiroglyphics" that only they understood, and my suggestion was to do the same with those you want to keep in touch with. My impliment of choice, and that should be handy for those on your list, would be a paint pen marker; waterproof,adheres to most surfaces, and comes in bright, easy to identify colors. Symbols in conjuction with words could be used in a pre-designated, out of the way area( so that debris, fire and such wont obscure it) and perhaps slightly elevated( so that a broken water main, for instance, wont flood it over) seems a good way to let each other know perninant info.

I live in a desert city. The major nearby rivers are now typically dry for many months out of the year, and it really may be almost a 30-mile drive to the nearest "I've-never-seen-it-dry-up" river.
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Remember; just because there isn't water on the surface, doesn't mean there is'n't water underneath.
I was instructed in the Marines that underground water usually follows a stream or riverbed and that green vegetation nearby was usually indicative of a substrate water source. You might have to dig a bit, but it beats death by dehydration. This is one reason why I carry a military folding shovel in my Jeep.
Just my two bits.
 
My kids' school is within a block of the house and I usually work from home so I would just gather them up and hunker down. My wife works about 18 miles away but the big snowstorm last year proved she's more than capable of hiking home that distance. If she could score a boat she could be home in no time at all as it's the trek around the lake that makes up most of that distance. I'm in the same boat as Bulgron as it would be all but impossible to bug out of the Seattle area during any sort of major or even minor emergency. You pretty much have one north-south highway that goes right through downtown (I-5) and a couple of options to head east over the mountains and that's about it.
 
If it's bad enough to bug out, I head for my folks. My mother works for the local hospital in what I describe as "medical intell", so anything bad enough that she gets called in for a long game, if I'm not home in 6 hours (normally a 90 minute drive), my dad would assume I'm on foot becuase my car as died. If I'm not there in five days without word, they are to assume I'm dead, detained or I've had to go to an alternate location for reasons unknown; in any case, don't expect me to be dragging my sorry butt up the drive way for a while.

Not the happiest plan in the world, but there it is.
 
mugwump867 said:
My kids' school is within a block of the house and I usually work from home so I would just gather them up and hunker down. My wife works about 18 miles away but the big snowstorm last year proved she's more than capable of hiking home that distance. If she could score a boat she could be home in no time at all as it's the trek around the lake that makes up most of that distance. I'm in the same boat as Bulgron as it would be all but impossible to bug out of the Seattle area during any sort of major or even minor emergency. You pretty much have one north-south highway that goes right through downtown (I-5) and a couple of options to head east over the mountains and that's about it.
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Seriously, if I lived on the ocean, or even within a few miles of the ocean, I'd get me a boat and be prepared to head out to sea in the event of Bad Things Happening. In Seattle, it seems like a boat should be able to get you out of town for almost anything except tsunami warnings. I mean, it isn't like you have hurricanes to deal with.

Get a boat, head south, head north, just pick a direction. Just get out of town and away from all those slowly panicking people ....
 
Worst case senarios are covered fairly well by J.W. Rawles in his book Patriots it is written like a novel but is quite a good information sorce. I understand he has a site SurvivalBlog but haven't ben there yet.
 
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