Sabering a Beer, and My Sending Off to Uncle Bill (with a vid)

Dave Rishar

Dave Rishar

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I won't presume to say that I knew Uncle Bill well. I did not. Besides a few words exchanged here and via email, I didn't know him at all. My knowledge of him is mainly based on the words of those who did know him well, and his own thoughts, recorded here. When I think on it, I feel in my own selfish way that I found a book, a wonderous book full of wisdom and knowledge, and after perusing a few pages, it vanished. Reflecting on it further, I realize that this is not accurate. The book I had was the last, unfinished work of a long series, and while this last book is gone, the previous ones have been recorded in the archives. Uncle Bill is lost to us but his insights are not. He will continue to teach and inspire through his words, and the words of those whom he taught and inspired. He's found immortality in his own way.

I do know that he was a sailor, and that he enjoyed good beer, and that he liked khukuries. That's enough for me to work on here.

Recently I sabered a champagne bottle with a khukuri. My mother had questioned me as to whether I could do that with beer. I found a beer with a corked neck, Chimay Ale. It's also quite good, somewhat expensive, and very potent. (9% alcohol, by volume.) I purchased a bottle of Grande Reserve today, chilled it, and took up my 16.5" chiruwa AK - my first khuk, and my first HI purchase. It was only fitting.

The movie is here in its entirety. One of the tricks of sabering a bottle is to locate and strike on the bottle's seam. The Chimay bottle had no seam and there was a bit of confusion at the beginning of the clip as I tried to locate one. Eventually I gave up and winged it. The break was not as clean as I would've liked but the job was accomplished and really, that's what it's all about.

I perform goofy antics with HI products, tape them, and post the links here. It's probably not going to change the world for the better - I'll be the first one to say that - but some folks enjoy seeing them and I enjoy making them. (As I've said in the past, there's one in every crowd.) Uncle Bill once stated that he got a kick out of them. He certainly deserved one more, and while he won't get to see the movie, I'd like to think that he may have witnessed this one personally. I hope he did.

This one's for you, Uncle Bill. Fair winds and following seas. Save me a seat and offer a prayer that we may all be at least half the man that you were.
 
A great gesture, I'm sure he appreciated it. I got a 6 pack of Heineken last night to remember him by. Every other time I've tried Heineken it wasn't much to my liking, but apparently my tastes have developed over the last year. It was quite good, and I'll always pour out a little think of him whenever I drink one in the years to come.
 
Good Job!!!! :D And that is one helluva bottle of beer!!!! If I were to drink one that size all I'd be able too do is just set back and slobber.:D :rolleyes: :D
 
Cool!

I haven't been drinking much the last couple of years, but I'm going to have to try that. Any tips, other than hit the seam?

Are you going to demo a can of Coors next?
 
I had a scheduled drinking event last night.. Started talking about Uncle Bill to friends who never heard of him before, and somehow portion of the night turned into memorial. Uncle Bill put a great display of courage fighting cancer and at the same time working for idea that he knew would outlast his earthly life.
 
Well done, Satori!

I had a Heineken last night, but didn't saber it. (I've always kind of worried about getting litttle bits of broken glass. Perhaps I don't understand.)
 
Second attempt: I must've hit the wrong button last time. Probably did, actually.

Since I am currently drunk, I'll disclose my limited information on how to saber a champagne bottle. Be careful with this.

We're not actually cutting anything. What we're doing here is utilizing the stress riser at the neck of the bottle (most have a rim with a 90 degree angle at the bottom) and the internal pressure of the brew to pop the top. The sharp object is merely a catalyst. I'm honestly convinced that a brick would work if applied correctly.

Pick a bottle with a "proper" construction. The pros don't spend much time on this. Korbel is relatively inexpensive and has worked fine for me. You want a cork and a 90 degree rim. Chill the bottle for a day or two in the fridge, in an upright position. Do not disturb it. When you're ready to do the dirty deed, remove the wire wrap, remove the label (not necessary but it makes it easier), don protective equipment and step outside. Aim the bottle in a safe direction, approximately 45 degrees from the horizon.

Locate the seam where the bottle was cast. There should actually be two of them, one on either side 180 degrees from one another. Either one will work. Note that not all bottles will have one. (Chimay comes to mind, but it's not champagne.) What you want to do is slide the edge of your blade down the neck with the goal of smacking the undercut of the lip. This takes less pressure than you think. If you did it right, the lip - cork included - will fracture away from the rest of the bottle and will be launched into the wild blue yonder by internal pressure. If you did not do it right I can't be held accountable for the results. This is for informational purposes only. Be sure to watch your supporting hand.

I'll say that again - be sure to watch your supporting hand. If you're not careful, your supporting hand's fingers will be in the path of the sharp thing. You can imagine what that leads to.

The good news is, practice makes perfect and you get to drink your practice. This will aid some more than others. Speaking from experience, I would say that it's a good idea to saber all the bottles at the same time, rather than sabering them one at a time. (And drinking them as such.) Bear in mind that if you saber a bottle it can't be closed again and must be consumed - I'm guessing that our Gallic friends had this in mind.

Beer is trickier. There is less internal pressure and an undercut isn't always present. When one has gained experience on champagne, one can start to guess with other things. I think I got lucky with the Chimay.

Anything relatively sharp ought to work. "Champagne sabers," built for the task, tend to be heavily ornamented bowie-style big knives crafted out of 420 stainless or similar. An HI khuk can only work better than this. The next bottle of bubbly that I crack will be done with an actual saber as a control but I'm not expecting any problems.

If done correctly, the plane of fracture makes it look as if the swordsman has actually sliced through the neck of the bottle but this is not the case; he or she merely cracked it in the right spot and physics did the tough work. It makes for a good show, though.

With champagne at least, the internal pressure will prevent glass fragments from being a problem. (Actually, if done correctly, there will be no fragments - just a bottle and a lip with a cork in it.) The pressure ought to direct any fragments outwards. I haven't witnessed any problems with this but I'm not a physicist and your mileage may vary.

If you do try this - and I can't very well tell you not to, as I already did - please be careful. Pressurized glass and blows from sharp objects are not a good mix.

Sabering a can? It should be easy compared to glass. I will try that later this week but certainly not tonight. Cans are my specialty.

Thanks all for the comments. This may seem trivial to some but it's the best that I can come up with. I hope Bill understands. (The fact that I used something other than Heineken, that is.)
 
Satori, your stuff is the best... someone (actually a hottie) taught me once to pour through a coffee filter if you broke open a bottle in a unique way... and I have done it, but I wonder who told her?


Ad Astra
 
Nice post, Sat. Fitting, man. I really like that one.

Thanks for this and so many other great flicks!

Nam
 
I'm going to learn to do this, Satori. It has become "one of those things I must learn."
 
Another Cantina subspecies - add saberers to the woodchucks, sharpeners, grinders, sheathmakers, blade testers.....


Always good stuff Satori, and a fitting UB tribute. :)
 
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