Sigh... it's never easy...

BePrepared

BePrepared

Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
4,441
A few minutes ago, my wife got a call from her mom that her grandmother had gotten back the results on some tests that she took a few weeks back.

She was feeling a bit tired, and she was having shortness of breath, so they ran a few tests. No one thought it could be anything severe, as she's a very active, very healthy lady.

We were very wrong. She has stage 4 lung cancer than has now spread to her liver and bones. Her doctor says that optimistically she has between 3 months and a year to live.

She smoked for 20 years, but quit over 25 years ago, so this was quite a shock. She's an incredibly nice lady... i've only known her for 6 years, but she was one of the first of my wifes relatives to completely welcome me into the family.

I guess i didn't know who else to tell... my closest friends are all out of touch right now, and i needed to vent.
 
So sad to read, there's something special about a person who welcomes one into the family...she sounds like an amazing lady. Prayers sent.
 
Really sorry to hear this. Last fall my wife lost her dad to cancer that had metastasized into his liver and pancreas. Two weeks after he was diagnosed he was gone.
 
Keep your head up and don't lose hope, Doctors have been way off when they give timelines. She sounds like a strong person. Prayers and smoke>
 
sorry to hear
how old is she? meaning, has she lived a long fulfilling life? cancer is a terrible thing no matter what. stay strong man
 
Bummer. Sorry for this terrible news.

I hope there is no pain or suffering but only love of family from this point forward.
 
Need2Know said:
Bummer. Sorry for this terrible news.

I hope there is no pain or suffering but only love of family from this point forward.
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we are heading to Spring this weekend. I never know what to say in these situations. I always feel uncomfortable and useless. I'm a fixer by nature, and when something can't be fixed, i'm just lost

My wife is taking it all pretty hard. She's closer to her grandmother than anyone but her parents... I want to make it better, but all i can really do is hug her, and being stuck at work, i can't even do that right now.
 
My wife lost her mother two years ago in a similiar way. Ex smoker, treatment-resistant pnuemonia. X-rays shows lung masses and they said lung cancer. Shorty after, they discovered it was really pancreatic cancer which had spread to bones, liver and lung. She lived about two months after diagnosis. It's heart wrenching and she still cries a bit most days. May God comfort your family. Just be sure and be there for her. Take care.
 
BePrepared said:
I always feel uncomfortable and useless. I'm a fixer by nature, and when something can't be fixed, i'm just lost
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Most men fall into this category. It was very hard for me until, after years of marriage (and hearing a radio show about relationships, by chance), I learned she didn't want me to fix everything. She wanted me to be there and listen. She calls it being a sounding board. Especially now, that's all you can be and if she's angry, it's probably not you, so just be easy. Take care.
 
Not sure if i should comment, being a relative newbie, but i can't help myself in this case.

I Lost both parents and my only sibling (sister) to cancer, all relatively young (58 to 68).

I'm sorry for her, and also for what you, your wife, and family are about to go through. You'll all be in our prayers.

It's frustrating to feel so helpless, but in reality, you are doing everything you can... love and support your wife, have faith, and know that grandmother will likely see this experience bring her family even closer together... once past the shock of the news, celebrate what time she has left, mourn later.

it is never easy.
 
I've seen it everyday in the hospital and its never easy. Be strong for your wife.

Best wishes to the whole family.
 
I'm sorry to hear that. jdk1's advice sounds like a great idea. You are doing something just by being there. That can mean a lot to many people. I'll be praying for you and your family.
 
Hate to hear that BP! I'm in the same boat. MO was given 2 months 3 months ago for lung,brain, & spinal cancer. Smoke sent brother!
 
Make the most of every day! You never know how many you have together. Thoughts and prayers for all of you!
 
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