There was a thread on an Auburn sports forum a few weeks ago wherein it was asked, "what are some of the simple joys in your life." It so happened that back in October I had written something that seemed to fit the topic, so I posted it. (I am in the habit of writing little blurbs about things I want to remember.) Some people here seem to enjoy this kind of thing. Some don't think it belongs here, so they should read no further.
Simple joy?
I wrote the following in October, just chasing where my mind took me while eating out with my wife. I came home and tried to capture it.. I'll show it to her eventually.
October 2014
Random thoughts on growing old together:
Some things are really difficult to explain. I have tried to capture my thoughts from the other day when we were in a restaurant. They took me many places.
Certainly to onlookers we are just two old people sitting in a restaurant. We are not talking much, just sitting, but there is a palpable communication between us, an unspoken contentment. I am looking at her. The wrinkles are there, but they are pleasant wrinkles, laugh and smile lines. A lifetime spent with a wide, open, glowing smile will do that, eventually. Why are you staring at me? she asks. I like to look at you. You look pleasant. ( I mentally kick myself. Pleasant? What the hell? She is beautiful.)
She is 71 years old and doesnt look it. The three years she has on me bothered her during our courtship. She worried about this very time, as we got old, afraid that I would resent it or something, I really dont know the specific concern. She neednt have worried.
We didnt deliberately make a plan to reach our present state of being. It just slipped up on us. She retired a year ago, twelve years after I did, finally letting go of what she was born to do, leaving three generations of first graders in her wake. Retired male friends ominously warned me that my life was going to be different as we were going to be constantly together for the first time in 43 years. It certainly is different, but not in the way they meant. It is satisfying and good.
I never could relate to a lot of my friends' derogatory comments about their wives anyway. She never complained about my hobbies or the money spent on them. She seldom nagged. She never put me down in front of other people. She was always supportive. She always built me up. Once we discussed an issue and reached agreement, we were always a unified, solid rock. And I might as well say it, she never had those inopportune headaches my friends complain about of their wives. (I like to think that I had a little to do with that, but thats probably just male vanity.) Shes not perfect, though. She has absolutely refused to learn to clean fish. But then, I dont catch many fish these days anyway. And we have certainly had some epic, shall I say, lively confrontational discussions. Now the things that used to cause tension between us are gone. Raising kids, financial worries, job stresses, career ambitions, little jealousies, are behind us. Truth be known, they were usually of my doing anyway.
I find myself drawn to her more than I have ever been before. I like to be near her. The age difference does bother me in one respect. The prospect of her dying before me is too bleak to contemplate. A loner by nature, I can see a reclusive old man as my future if that happens. I pray it wont. She pooh-poohs that prospect and says she just cant see me being alone for long. She is wrong.
We were in the car a few days ago when I reached over and took her hand. We do that a lot now, two old folks holding hands. (Dang consoles. Almost all cars have them now. Maybe thats why trucks are so popular with kids these days?) We rode in silence for a time. I said, you know, it may sound strange to say, given the passion of youth, but I think that right now is the best its ever been. Yes, it is. she replied.
Simple joy?
I wrote the following in October, just chasing where my mind took me while eating out with my wife. I came home and tried to capture it.. I'll show it to her eventually.
October 2014
Random thoughts on growing old together:
Some things are really difficult to explain. I have tried to capture my thoughts from the other day when we were in a restaurant. They took me many places.
Certainly to onlookers we are just two old people sitting in a restaurant. We are not talking much, just sitting, but there is a palpable communication between us, an unspoken contentment. I am looking at her. The wrinkles are there, but they are pleasant wrinkles, laugh and smile lines. A lifetime spent with a wide, open, glowing smile will do that, eventually. Why are you staring at me? she asks. I like to look at you. You look pleasant. ( I mentally kick myself. Pleasant? What the hell? She is beautiful.)
She is 71 years old and doesnt look it. The three years she has on me bothered her during our courtship. She worried about this very time, as we got old, afraid that I would resent it or something, I really dont know the specific concern. She neednt have worried.
We didnt deliberately make a plan to reach our present state of being. It just slipped up on us. She retired a year ago, twelve years after I did, finally letting go of what she was born to do, leaving three generations of first graders in her wake. Retired male friends ominously warned me that my life was going to be different as we were going to be constantly together for the first time in 43 years. It certainly is different, but not in the way they meant. It is satisfying and good.
I never could relate to a lot of my friends' derogatory comments about their wives anyway. She never complained about my hobbies or the money spent on them. She seldom nagged. She never put me down in front of other people. She was always supportive. She always built me up. Once we discussed an issue and reached agreement, we were always a unified, solid rock. And I might as well say it, she never had those inopportune headaches my friends complain about of their wives. (I like to think that I had a little to do with that, but thats probably just male vanity.) Shes not perfect, though. She has absolutely refused to learn to clean fish. But then, I dont catch many fish these days anyway. And we have certainly had some epic, shall I say, lively confrontational discussions. Now the things that used to cause tension between us are gone. Raising kids, financial worries, job stresses, career ambitions, little jealousies, are behind us. Truth be known, they were usually of my doing anyway.
I find myself drawn to her more than I have ever been before. I like to be near her. The age difference does bother me in one respect. The prospect of her dying before me is too bleak to contemplate. A loner by nature, I can see a reclusive old man as my future if that happens. I pray it wont. She pooh-poohs that prospect and says she just cant see me being alone for long. She is wrong.
We were in the car a few days ago when I reached over and took her hand. We do that a lot now, two old folks holding hands. (Dang consoles. Almost all cars have them now. Maybe thats why trucks are so popular with kids these days?) We rode in silence for a time. I said, you know, it may sound strange to say, given the passion of youth, but I think that right now is the best its ever been. Yes, it is. she replied.
).
or as I've always said I was able to marry up 
