Sly old Lloyd

Parke1

Parke1

Joined
Feb 11, 2003
Messages
1,862
As you may already know, I have a great relationship with my parents. I’m definitely a lucky individual to be able to make such a statement, but as God has blessed me, I’m able to make one more such statement: I have a pair of wonderful in-laws. There, I said it. It’s even true. Katie’s parents, Barb and Lloyd, divorced when Katie was about 14 years old. She continued to live with her mother in the town next to mine, and her father, Lloyd, moved up northeast from here a touch to live in Ravenna.

This memory focuses on Lloyd. Barb, my mother-in-law, is a wonderful woman, but deserves more than just a small role, and I’ll save other words about her for another time.

I had been up to visit Lloyd a couple times with Katie while we were dating. I immediately liked him, largely because we shared a surprising number of interests. We both share a love for hiking, camping, wilderness survival, fishing, shooting, and most of all, knives.

Ok, I suppose before I continue, I should give you a touch more info on Lloyd, or this story won’t make too much sense. Immediately after my in-laws divorced, Lloyd went his own way and made a good go of it. He was working security jobs for a few different firms in the area. His world was disrupted by the divorce, but all in all, he was still doing well. Times must always change, though, and it seems like in his case they don’t often change for the better. While working, he took a nasty fall and wound up breaking his right shoulder. Several surgeries later, he still has nearly constant pain in that joint, and a fairly limited range of motion. He has dealt very well with this, but it meant an end to the majority of his shooting days, and meant he couldn’t really work security jobs anymore.

For the sake of brevity, I’ll sum this all up as this: one thing lead to another, and these days Lloyd works as a grocery bagger at a local store in his town. He lives alone in a trailer, and is very hard up for money. He always goes out of his way, though, to provide the best he can for Katie and me. We’re constantly being bombarded with dinner invitations on weekends. We nearly always gladly accept, since the man is a true master of barbeque!

Anyway, now that you have a little more details, back to the real story at hand.

As I said, at the time that this story is taking place (one year ago nearly to the day now), I had been up to visit Lloyd before, but always in the company of Katie. This time was different. This was my first solo visit, and I planned to ask him permission to marry his only daughter. I had already received the blessings of Katie’s mom, Barb, and now I just had one last hurdle to clear before it was time to start planning the proposal: asking the proverbial “old man.”

It was a nice, clear Saturday in the middle of October. Katie was away at school in Pennsylvania, and I had the whole day to sit around and get more and more nervous about talking to her dad. I decided to simply get it over with, and whichever way the talk turned out, at least it would be over and done with. I cracked open my cell phone and dialed Lloyd up. Sure, my finger may have hesitated over the “send” button for a few moments, but I eventually loosed the cannons. Lloyd answered on the fourth or fifth ring, just a split second before I nearly chickened out and ended the call.

“Hello?”
“Hi, Lloyd, this is Dan, Katie’s boyfriend.”
“Yeah Dan, I know who you are.”
“…”
“Did you need something, Dan?”
“Well, no, not really. Err, I mean, I was just calling… to see how you’ve been. I haven’t seen you in quite a while now.”
“Oh, I see. Well, I’m doing fine. I have the day off of work today, so I’m just sitting out by the fire pit, enjoying some fresh air today. What’re you up to?”
When I heard “What are you up to,” I started to panic. Was he suspicious of me? Should I abort now? I hesitated before responding, luckily, and in a flash of brilliance, realized that he was merely asking me what I was doing that day. I wittily replied, “Uh, nothing. I’m just sitting around not doing anything.” Real smooth, Dan, you’re batting 1000 here. Not only did you just make yourself sound like an idiot, you made yourself sound like a lazy idiot, at that.
“Oh, I see. Well, I’m going to head back outside, so I’m going to go ahead and hop off the phone now, Dan. If you’re bored, you can always come up here and visit if you’d like,” Lloyd said.
“Oh, uh, well we’ll have to see what else I need to do today, but maybe I’ll make it up. Thanks, Lloyd.”

---continued---
 
We ended the conversation, and I sat back to think about what I’d just done. I supposed that I couldn’t really abort the plan now, so I hopped in the truck and took off. 40 minutes after we hung up the phone, I was pulling up to his trailer. I got out of the truck and looked toward the fire pit, where I suspected he would be sitting. Lloyd was seated in a folding camp chair with his back to me. I walked closer and noticed that he had set up two chairs, and a small table between them. Sitting on the table was a thermos and two mugs, one filled with the steaming hot goodness that is my favorite drink; black coffee. Lloyd had a long maple stick across his legs, and was using an old worn down paring knife to slice the bark off.

He was working on another of his walking staffs, which is his main hobby these days. He makes some beautiful canes and staffs, each hand selected, cured for one year, and rubbed meticulously with several coats of tung oil. After finishing the wood is done, each is decorated with leather wraps, hand tied at exactly the right height for the new owner. I’ve asked him several times if he wanted me to help him sell these works of art to generate him some extra income, but he always declines, saying that he makes them as gifts for friends and family, and that’s all he wants to do with them.

As I approached, he spoke, “Pull up a chair, Dan. I figure I know why you’re here.”
I sat hesitantly. “You do?”
“Help yourself to some coffee, I just brewed it for us. Yeah, I suppose you want to talk to me about proposing to my little girl.”
I sat dumbfounded for a while. I didn’t know what else to say, so I asked the obvious, “Ok, you’re right. How did you know?”
He sat for a moment and sipped his coffee. He picked up the old paring knife again, and went back to work on the staff.
“You know, Dan, I’m not entirely clueless. You were as nervous as all get-out on the phone earlier, and I know you never normally act like that. I figured it had to be something along these lines.”
Rather impressed by his shrewd reasoning, I replied, “Well, you’ve got me. I had been thinking of some impressive sounding spiels to deliver to you, but now I suppose that’s out the window. I’m kind of lost for words now.”
“Well, don’t sweat it too much. You’ve got the go-ahead from me, Dan. I’d be quite happy to have you as a son-in-law.”
I laughed suddenly, completely surprised by his comment, and suddenly very happy.
“Well, I may regret asking you this later, but may I ask why this decision was so easy for you to reach?”
He took a moment to answer, “Because I know you’ll take care of her. You have a great young mind in that head, and I know she’ll be in good hands.”

I was so taken aback by his comment; I didn’t know what to do, really. I sat there for a few minutes and watched him work. I noticed he was having a bit of trouble with the paring knife cutting the bark off the staff. I jumped up and ran to my truck. Coming back a few moments later, I held a small something in my hand and said, “Well, all I know to do is to say thank you, Lloyd. Thank you so much for your permission and for what you just said. You might never know exactly how wonderful you just made my day, but let me give you something as a small token of my thanks.”
He started to protest, as I figured he would. I spoke over him, “No, just please, let me do this for you. Believe me, it’s not much, but I think you’ll use it.”

I handed him a small black box, which he quickly opened it. A new Boker four-blade congress in light stag dropped into his palm. I had just received it in the mail a couple days before, but it seemed like he had more need for it than I did. After a bit he stood up, and I followed suit. He grasped me suddenly in a hug. We stood like that for a minute, and he said softly, “Thank you, son.”

It’s been a year since I gave Lloyd that Congress, and it’s seen more than its share of use. He now carries it religiously, and uses it nearly every day while working on his sticks. The blades have taken on that wonderful frequently-used-and-sharpened look. I think it’s fair to say that with every little bit of those blades that gets worn away, our relationship gets that much stronger.

-Parke1
 
Congrats! And a huge :thumbup: to you for doing the right thing in multiple ways. As I read your story, I flashed back to the day I went to my future in-laws and hemmed and hawed my way to asking for their blessing. What a memory! I value my in-laws as much as my own parents. You are a lucky man to have good ones.
 
Great story and good blessings for you all.

I think it should have been left over in the Traditional forum as it did have knife content, and of the type that is linked with traditionals.
 
Thank you both for your kind words.

I agree with you, Amos, I was rather surprised to find the thread moved. I'm not too sure why it was, since I know that stories like this are often found in Traditionals, but I digress. I'm just glad y'all liked my humble words.

Thanks again!
-Parke1
 
Oh don't you worry Dave. Katie and I have been married for three months and 16 days now, and it feels like we're still on our honeymoon. Sure, it's barely any time at all compared to millions of marriages out there, but we're making it, and having loads of fun at every step of the way.

Thanks for the compliments!
-Parke1
 
Parke1 said:
Oh don't you worry Dave. Katie and I have been married for three months and 16 days now, and it feels like we're still on our honeymoon. Sure, it's barely any time at all compared to millions of marriages out there, but we're making it, and having loads of fun at every step of the way.

Thanks for the compliments!
-Parke1
Click to expand...

For the long haul there's some basic rules to keep in mind.

1. Never go to bed mad. Stay up late as you need to get it straitened out. Then go to bed!

2. In a serious argument, go take a walk alone and think about the fact that you both may be wrong or right, but just thinking about it from different viewpoints, like man vs woman. Its impossable to have two different being who think with different hemispheres of the brain to see eye to eye alot. You have to compromise. Nothing is THAT important that you and the wife can't compromise.

3. John Wayne said "never appologize, it's a sign of weakness." Well John Wayne was an idiot, he went through a couple of wives and alienated many friends as well as his eldest son. He was wrong. I was tought that it takes a bigger man to admit he was wrong, especially if it involves someone you love.

4. Take advantage of the fact that your wife sees things different. Don't be afraid to look at it from her view, it could surprise you and let you see something you were blind to before. iron is decent stuff, but add cabon to it and you get an alloy;steel. By yourself you're iron, add your wife into it to make a team and you become an alloy. Make all important desisions together then sleep on it overnight.

5. Your children are your biggest treasure. Watch over them very carefully. Stay involved in their life, and never be too buisy to listen to them. Take them fishing and camping on a regular basis. Never talk down to them, and let them know you repect them as human beings. Use the Andy Griffith method of child rearing. And no matter how mad or shocked you get, try not to show it too much, and let your child know that they can ALWAYS come to you.

6. 2/3ds of all marriges get in trouble over money, or the lack of. Live within your means and stay out of debt if you can. Don't worry about the Jones's.

It surprised me that they moved your post. Its more "folksy" over at the other place.
 
Well said, Jackknife. You and I have the same rules. We're coming up on 14 years.
 
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