- Joined
- Nov 25, 2006
- Messages
- 7,039
Survival Toothpaste- Good oral hygeine will have you sitting around the campfire, arm in arm with the local bears, singing and swaying to PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON.
Survival air- Remember to sleep with your head in the wind in case of the malodorous and dreaded distress flatulance.
Survival Soccer ball- Be sure to include a soccer ball on any long wilderness trips (Wilson brand preferably). The need will become apparent over time.
Survival Condom- Pull this out when you are cold, wet, hungry, in the middle of no where and you realise that you are well and truly f...ed.
Survival snot- Definately an under untilized resource. Chew down some trees, shred the bark with your teeth, then glue a wood frame canoe together with snot. Youll be out of the bush lickity split!
Survival rock eating- This food not only fills you up, is readily available, but is also packed full of minerals that your body will need to endure the rigours of wilderness survival! Survival rocks have the added benefit of reducing your need for survival tooth paste.
Survival air- Remember to sleep with your head in the wind in case of the malodorous and dreaded distress flatulance.
Survival Soccer ball- Be sure to include a soccer ball on any long wilderness trips (Wilson brand preferably). The need will become apparent over time.
Survival Condom- Pull this out when you are cold, wet, hungry, in the middle of no where and you realise that you are well and truly f...ed.
Survival snot- Definately an under untilized resource. Chew down some trees, shred the bark with your teeth, then glue a wood frame canoe together with snot. Youll be out of the bush lickity split!
Survival rock eating- This food not only fills you up, is readily available, but is also packed full of minerals that your body will need to endure the rigours of wilderness survival! Survival rocks have the added benefit of reducing your need for survival tooth paste.
....Of course this still means that I know everything and Im never wrong. :barf: 
