Spyderco Poetry?

[java]

Wrote and posted these on the Spyderco Forum yesterday. Just thought I'd share a little Spyderco craziness. Tear it up and add your own.

“Why are you so loyal to Spyderco?” Question posted on SF

To put in verse: They were my first. (Beside a Buck or two)
They outperforms in edgy norms - Fit, finish, and value
In terms of firms their style confirms the customer comes first
In care, repair few compare; a goal which others thirst
With fine design their product line has led with innovation
The hole, the clip, sharp teeth, good grip cemented our relation
But when all is said, it’s how they’re led, ‘tis nothing new I’m brooking
Integrity for all to see – e’en when there’s no one looking. - jea 12/02/06​

SPYDERWHACKY - (Through the OTHER Looking-Glass and What Java Found There)

`Twas Gunting, and the Diver’s Probes
Did gyre and gimble ‘in the dews:
All mimsy were the Calypsos
And the MeerKats’ lock confused.

"Become the Spydernut, my son!
The scales that grip, the blades that latch!
Buy all their line of Byrds, and Lums
And yea their Sprintrunbatch!"
He took his Hossom sword in hand:
Long time the Spyder buys he sought --
So rested he by the Lum Ti tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
There in the display whereby he stood,
Spyders all sang out his name,
Kopas and Volpes with inlaid wood,
He burbled and he claimed!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The Visa card went Swick (or swack)!
He left card stunned, and with his blades
He went galumphing back.
"And, hast thou become the Spydernut?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
Oh Pride UK! Centofante!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas Gunting, and the Diver’s Probes
Did gyre and gimble in the dews;
All mimsy were the Calypsos,
And the Meerkats’ lock confused. – jea 12/02/06​

A little older Spydie stuff as well:


The Punkyn -(with apologies to Blake and any and all Tygers burning brightly out there)

Punkyn! Punkyn! Lit with torch
Glowing on my neighbor’s porch
What the Spydie what the knife
Did carve thy face and give thee life

In what distant field of earth
Dwelled the seed that spawned thy birth
What the truck then did dispatch
That brought thee to the Punkyn patch

And what the mind that then decreed
To sever flesh from pulp and seed
Once there was nothing left within
What the hand that carved that grin

What the eyes? And what the nose?
What no arms? And where’s your toes?
What the Spydie? Was it Jess Horn?
That caused these terrors recent borne

And when the night drew dark and chilly
I cursed those carved by a Viele
And when thine eyes began to glow
I even cursed the Calypso.

I cursed the blade! I cursed the steel!
From VG-10 back to Laguiole
Did Golden smile their work now bright?
I cursed them all and fled the night!

Punkyn! Punkyn! Lit with torch
Glowing on my neighbor’s porch
What the Spydie what the knife
Did carve thy face and give thee life - jea​

Custom Lament

Dino-bone, bloodstone, turquoise, or MOP
What kind of Kiwi haven't they got
Jet, stainless, engraved
What coin I’d have saved
If Santa Fe and New Graham had stopped - jea​

Manix

The joys of the Spyderco Manix
No sweeter deployment mechanics
All her ergos are fine
Fit and finish divine
But show it to sheeples - they panics - jea​

Manix Redux

I mused on the Ronin by Janiche
But purchased the Spyderco Manix
When offered in trade
Kershaw and Benchmade
I just smiled and then said, “No thanix!” - jea​

Travis Quaas Former Spyderco employee and quite a character

Here's to Mr. Travis Quaas
Baddest dude there ever was.
Laughing in the face of danger
He sends out knives to total strangers
He’ll hold you in his steely gaze and assume that haughty stance
While daring you to try and name the Spydies in his pants
"He's sooo bad" the ladies swoon. Stout-hearted men give pause
For when he walks into the room they all know Travis Quaas -​

Aiyee ‘cher

A young Cajun into Zydeco
Lost his hand at his wrist to a Spydercoo
When one asked fo’ de time
He would den pantomime
“Cher, it look bout half Spyder-bite-ago” - jea, 06/13/02​

Voxnaes versus the Dodo - Vox is Aliass on BFC. His taste runs from eating extinct birds when he can them to destroying fine aged single malt Scotch by mixing it with Sprite :barf: (But he does make fine knives :thumbup: )

The Pre-Production

Vox has eaten the last living dodo
There was no one around to say "No-no!!"
He sauteed it just right
In whiskey and sprite
Now he drools at the thought of Sal's proto. - jea, 05/23/03


Production model mailed;

So the Dodo rumored spotted in Sweden
Is in Hjaerbeck and hasn't been eaten
Is it not to your liking
Me omnivorous Viking?
Or is a whiskey/Sprite glaze what it's needin'? - jea, 06/24/04​

Have fun!! Stay safe! Stay sharp!


J

 

[StarStorm]

Rofl, made my day. Very nice

SS

 

[USSR]

I like knife poetry. I'll have to add my own sometime.

When trying to shave, you might feel berated, just be glad your knife ain't serrated!

Oh Spyders lamented, ball-bearing detented, the day it simply could not save,
when drawn from the pocket, the lock did not lock it, and leg hair it began to shave.
Inquire you might to my poor right leg's plight, and prevention of future slip-up,
my answer to you, is to cause, if you choose, your clip not to carry TIP UP!

 

[Machaira]

There once was a man named Sal who was the knife collector's pal,

He put a hole in the blade and history was made,

But now he makes knives named after fowl...

M.