From what I understand, "New York: New York Residents may only purchase defense sprays from licensed Firearms Dealers or licensed Pharmacists in that state."
I would work with those people to see if they can get some Freeze +P if pepper spray is what you seek. From my understanding this is good stuff that civillians can have, but I'm not sure about your state. My information is from some of our local LEO and trainers who try to stay current in training and self defense techniques, but it was free, so YGWYPF.
I would also seek some training on it's use if I could. There was a video on youtube where some LEOs were tasing a perp and it had very little effect on him. Pepper sprays don't always work either. Your best tool will be using your head to avoid potential confrontations, sometimes our conditioning to be polite overrides those signals in our gut to get away from potential danger. Good luck!