- Joined
- Oct 9, 2003
- Messages
- 5,594
1. In The First Book Of The Bible, Guinessis. God Got Tired Of
Creating
The World So He Took The Sabbath Off.
2. Adam And Eve Were Created From An Apple Tree. Noah's Wife Was
Joan Of
Ark. Noah Built And Ark And The Animals Came On In Pears.
3. Lots Wife Was A Pillar Of Salt During The Day, But A Ball Of
Fire
During The Night.
4. The Jews Were A Proud People And Throughout History They Had
Trouble
With Unsympathetic Genitals.
5. Sampson Was A Strongman Who Let Himself Be Led Astray By A
Jezebel
Like Delilah.
6. Samson Slayed The Philistines With The Axe Of The Apostles.
7. Moses Led The Jews To The Red Sea Where They Made Unleavened
Bread
Which Is Bread Without Any Ingredients.
8, The Egyptians Were All Drowned In The Dessert. Afterwards,
Moses Went
Up To Mount Cyanide To Get The Ten Commandments.
9. The First Commandments Was When Eve Told Adam To Eat The
Apple.
10. The Seventh Commandment Is Thou Shalt Not Admit Adultery.
11. Moses Died Before He Ever Reached Canada. Then Joshua Led
The
Hebrews In The Battle Of Geritol.
12. The Greatest Miricle In The Bible Is When Joshua Told His
Son To
Stand Still And He Obeyed Him.
13. David Was A Hebrew King Who Was Skilled At Playing The Liar.
He
Fought The Finkelsteins, A Race Of People Who Lived In Biblical
Times.
14. Solomon, One Of Davids Sons, Had 300 Wives And 700
Porcupines.
15. When Mary Heard She Was The Mother Of Jesus, She Sang The
Magna
Carta.
16. When The Three Wise Guys From The East Side Arrived They
Found Jesus
In The Manager.
17. Jesus Was Born Because Mary Had An Immaculate Contraption.
18. St. John The Blacksmith Dumped Water On His Head.
19. Jesus Enunciated The Golden Rule, Which Says To Do Unto
Others
Before They Do One To You. He Also Explained A Man Doth Not Live
By
Sweat Alone.
20. It Was A Miricle When Jesus Rose From The Dead And Managed
To Get
The Tombstone Off The Entrance.
21. The People Who Followed The Lord Were Called The 12
Decibels.
22. The Epistels Were The Wives Of The Apostles.
23. One Of The Oppossums Was St. Matthew Who Was Also A Taximan.
24. St. Paul Cavorted To Christianity, He Preached Holy Acrimony
Which
Is Another Name For Marraige.
25. Christians Have Only One Spouse. This Is Called Monotony.
Creating
The World So He Took The Sabbath Off.
2. Adam And Eve Were Created From An Apple Tree. Noah's Wife Was
Joan Of
Ark. Noah Built And Ark And The Animals Came On In Pears.
3. Lots Wife Was A Pillar Of Salt During The Day, But A Ball Of
Fire
During The Night.
4. The Jews Were A Proud People And Throughout History They Had
Trouble
With Unsympathetic Genitals.
5. Sampson Was A Strongman Who Let Himself Be Led Astray By A
Jezebel
Like Delilah.
6. Samson Slayed The Philistines With The Axe Of The Apostles.
7. Moses Led The Jews To The Red Sea Where They Made Unleavened
Bread
Which Is Bread Without Any Ingredients.
8, The Egyptians Were All Drowned In The Dessert. Afterwards,
Moses Went
Up To Mount Cyanide To Get The Ten Commandments.
9. The First Commandments Was When Eve Told Adam To Eat The
Apple.
10. The Seventh Commandment Is Thou Shalt Not Admit Adultery.
11. Moses Died Before He Ever Reached Canada. Then Joshua Led
The
Hebrews In The Battle Of Geritol.
12. The Greatest Miricle In The Bible Is When Joshua Told His
Son To
Stand Still And He Obeyed Him.
13. David Was A Hebrew King Who Was Skilled At Playing The Liar.
He
Fought The Finkelsteins, A Race Of People Who Lived In Biblical
Times.
14. Solomon, One Of Davids Sons, Had 300 Wives And 700
Porcupines.
15. When Mary Heard She Was The Mother Of Jesus, She Sang The
Magna
Carta.
16. When The Three Wise Guys From The East Side Arrived They
Found Jesus
In The Manager.
17. Jesus Was Born Because Mary Had An Immaculate Contraption.
18. St. John The Blacksmith Dumped Water On His Head.
19. Jesus Enunciated The Golden Rule, Which Says To Do Unto
Others
Before They Do One To You. He Also Explained A Man Doth Not Live
By
Sweat Alone.
20. It Was A Miricle When Jesus Rose From The Dead And Managed
To Get
The Tombstone Off The Entrance.
21. The People Who Followed The Lord Were Called The 12
Decibels.
22. The Epistels Were The Wives Of The Apostles.
23. One Of The Oppossums Was St. Matthew Who Was Also A Taximan.
24. St. Paul Cavorted To Christianity, He Preached Holy Acrimony
Which
Is Another Name For Marraige.
25. Christians Have Only One Spouse. This Is Called Monotony.