- Joined
- Oct 24, 2002
- Messages
- 59
After reading the great thread on friction forged D2 (FFD2) knives located in this forum I was prompted to relate an experience Marty and I recently had with another exotic knife material.
This material is called Superconducting Super Collider Forged D2, or SSCFD2, as it has come to be known. The Super Collider process uses particle physics to create new material properties in blade steel. In this case, physicists bombarded D2 with Osmium, Rhenium and Boron atoms driven at relativistic velocities to freak out the carbide atoms in the D2. Quantum physics is full of interesting terms like charm and strange so freaky is just another particle characteristic, but in this case it really applies, as you will see.
Anyway, the new freaky carbides are way small. The materials scientists who made friction forged D2 talk about carbides at the sub micron level, but that is nothing compared to the SSCFD2 carbides, which are actually smaller than a gnats eyelash! You cant get much smaller than that, and as a scientist friend of mine told me, Thats so small its meaningless. Isnt science great?
Along with small carbide size, SSCFD2 has some other interesting properties. First of all its hardness surpasses a diamond, and as a result it cant be measured by the usual methods. This is where my friend Marty came into the picture originally, and why he ended up with a prototype knife made of this wondrous material. Apparently the scientist who created SSCFD2 needed to find something else harder than a diamond and through a friend of a friend heard about this guy who had the hardest head hed ever seen. Next thing you know ol Marty is getting a phone call from the scientist guy, and as they say the rest is history, and well, a few more stitches in Martys scalp, but then weve all lost count in that regard anyway.
Second, since the actual manufacture of this blade material involves bombarding the steel with radioactive particles at near light speed it tends to glow in the dark. This can be both helpful and frightening depending on the situation. However, the knifes most interesting trait comes directly from Einsteins General Relativity theory. Because of the high velocities involved in its manufacture the blade material tends to bend space and time. These phenomena present themselves in different ways, but the most interesting one of all is the time dilation effect. Without going into all the complicated mathematics and high falutin theories lets just say the knife cuts about five seconds ahead of itself. I know, I know, hard to believe, right? I am here to tell you though I have seen it in action and the results are astounding and quite disconcerting.
I first realized just how astounding when Marty came running into my garage brandishing the new knife like a kid with a new, well, like a kid with a new knife. As I have just done for you, he explained the knifes history and properties, and showed me the scars on his head.
Now watch this, he proclaimed as he brought the knife near his arm. I stood in stupefied wonder as the hair on his arm flew into the air, long patches of bare skin appearing as the hair popped off. Five seconds later he actually touched the blade to his arm.
Whoa, what the heck was that? I asked refusing to admit that I had just seen for myself what Einstein had once called, spooky action at a distance.
That, my incredulous friend, Marty said smugly, is SSCFD2 in action. He then held the blade above a length of hemp rope and I watched as it parted into neat little one inch sections five seconds before Marty leaned over and started cutting.
Talk about scary sharp! I blurted out as I moved at least five seconds away from Martys madly cutting knife.
Well, as you know Marty and I enjoy testing knives to their fullest. We try to ring every last ounce of performance out of them to see what works and what fails. It was no different with the SSCFD2 knife. Unfortunately this particular knifes properties led to testing regimens far outside our normal levels of caution and common sense, which as our previous tests have shown is something we always try to maintain as much as possible.
I should have known it was getting out of hand when I sat in my living room reading the newspaper one day and it parted in my hand as though cut by an invisible razor. Through the slice I could see Marty standing in front of me, a gleeful look on his face. Seconds later the knife slashed the air in front of my eyes.
Just testing its push cutting ability on newspaper, Marty giggled as he waved his knife carelessly about.
Give me that thing, I said as I took the knife from his hand. Lets see how it works on leather.
Marty shook his head in agreement and then he must have seen something in my eyes because he tried to turn and run. By then it was too late. His belt parted and his pants fell down around his ankles, sending him to the ground in a crumpled heap. Five seconds later I cut his leather belt with the SSCFD2blade.
This nonsense, er, testing methodology went on for a few days with always interesting results. Finally, one afternoon Marty and I visited his backyard pool. Martys wife, Prudence, happened to be sunbathing when we arrived. She wore a two piece bathing suit with a string top. What happened next was both unfortunate and highly disturbing. Prudence stood up when Marty and I walked over. I happened to be holding the SSCFD2 knife at the time. Considering Prudences body and disposition I dont know what came over me, but suddenly the string on her top parted and fell away to reveal, well, to reveal a sight not meant for men with queasy stomachs.
Prudence screamed and tried to cover herself.
I screamed and shouted, My eyes, my eyes, Im blind!
Marty screamed, Kliff, you didnt do what I think you did!
Five seconds later I cut the string on her bikini top.
Prudence screamed again, Youre a dead man, Kliff, you perverted bastard.
I dropped the knife and five seconds later I was running for cover like a cockroach caught in the open when the kitchen light is turned on.
To understand what happened next you must understand the situation. My parents believed proper dress included a collared shirt, so naturally they told the doctor after my birth to leave his scalpel in its sheath. Thus, I remained to this day a whole man, so to speak. Therefore you can imagine my horror when the other night I bared the Little Corporal to take a leak in my backyard and out of the corner of my eye saw this blade glowing in the dark, hovering a few scant inches away. In the ghostly luminescence of knifes light I could barely make out Prudence as she stood there with the knife in her hand. And of course by then it was already too late. They say my screams brought cats running in from blocks away.
The doctor said I should heal in no time, and given the, uh, circumstances, Prudence did a pretty good job overall. Even so I cant help feeling underdressed now, like wearing a tee-shirt to a formal dinner.
Oh, and one final thing. Leave that SSCFD2 stuff to the scientists. Dont take chances with space and time. It is dangerous and too unpredictable, or to paraphrase Einstein one more time, God does not throw knives.
Kliff
This material is called Superconducting Super Collider Forged D2, or SSCFD2, as it has come to be known. The Super Collider process uses particle physics to create new material properties in blade steel. In this case, physicists bombarded D2 with Osmium, Rhenium and Boron atoms driven at relativistic velocities to freak out the carbide atoms in the D2. Quantum physics is full of interesting terms like charm and strange so freaky is just another particle characteristic, but in this case it really applies, as you will see.
Anyway, the new freaky carbides are way small. The materials scientists who made friction forged D2 talk about carbides at the sub micron level, but that is nothing compared to the SSCFD2 carbides, which are actually smaller than a gnats eyelash! You cant get much smaller than that, and as a scientist friend of mine told me, Thats so small its meaningless. Isnt science great?
Along with small carbide size, SSCFD2 has some other interesting properties. First of all its hardness surpasses a diamond, and as a result it cant be measured by the usual methods. This is where my friend Marty came into the picture originally, and why he ended up with a prototype knife made of this wondrous material. Apparently the scientist who created SSCFD2 needed to find something else harder than a diamond and through a friend of a friend heard about this guy who had the hardest head hed ever seen. Next thing you know ol Marty is getting a phone call from the scientist guy, and as they say the rest is history, and well, a few more stitches in Martys scalp, but then weve all lost count in that regard anyway.
Second, since the actual manufacture of this blade material involves bombarding the steel with radioactive particles at near light speed it tends to glow in the dark. This can be both helpful and frightening depending on the situation. However, the knifes most interesting trait comes directly from Einsteins General Relativity theory. Because of the high velocities involved in its manufacture the blade material tends to bend space and time. These phenomena present themselves in different ways, but the most interesting one of all is the time dilation effect. Without going into all the complicated mathematics and high falutin theories lets just say the knife cuts about five seconds ahead of itself. I know, I know, hard to believe, right? I am here to tell you though I have seen it in action and the results are astounding and quite disconcerting.
I first realized just how astounding when Marty came running into my garage brandishing the new knife like a kid with a new, well, like a kid with a new knife. As I have just done for you, he explained the knifes history and properties, and showed me the scars on his head.
Now watch this, he proclaimed as he brought the knife near his arm. I stood in stupefied wonder as the hair on his arm flew into the air, long patches of bare skin appearing as the hair popped off. Five seconds later he actually touched the blade to his arm.
Whoa, what the heck was that? I asked refusing to admit that I had just seen for myself what Einstein had once called, spooky action at a distance.
That, my incredulous friend, Marty said smugly, is SSCFD2 in action. He then held the blade above a length of hemp rope and I watched as it parted into neat little one inch sections five seconds before Marty leaned over and started cutting.
Talk about scary sharp! I blurted out as I moved at least five seconds away from Martys madly cutting knife.
Well, as you know Marty and I enjoy testing knives to their fullest. We try to ring every last ounce of performance out of them to see what works and what fails. It was no different with the SSCFD2 knife. Unfortunately this particular knifes properties led to testing regimens far outside our normal levels of caution and common sense, which as our previous tests have shown is something we always try to maintain as much as possible.
I should have known it was getting out of hand when I sat in my living room reading the newspaper one day and it parted in my hand as though cut by an invisible razor. Through the slice I could see Marty standing in front of me, a gleeful look on his face. Seconds later the knife slashed the air in front of my eyes.
Just testing its push cutting ability on newspaper, Marty giggled as he waved his knife carelessly about.
Give me that thing, I said as I took the knife from his hand. Lets see how it works on leather.
Marty shook his head in agreement and then he must have seen something in my eyes because he tried to turn and run. By then it was too late. His belt parted and his pants fell down around his ankles, sending him to the ground in a crumpled heap. Five seconds later I cut his leather belt with the SSCFD2blade.
This nonsense, er, testing methodology went on for a few days with always interesting results. Finally, one afternoon Marty and I visited his backyard pool. Martys wife, Prudence, happened to be sunbathing when we arrived. She wore a two piece bathing suit with a string top. What happened next was both unfortunate and highly disturbing. Prudence stood up when Marty and I walked over. I happened to be holding the SSCFD2 knife at the time. Considering Prudences body and disposition I dont know what came over me, but suddenly the string on her top parted and fell away to reveal, well, to reveal a sight not meant for men with queasy stomachs.
Prudence screamed and tried to cover herself.
I screamed and shouted, My eyes, my eyes, Im blind!
Marty screamed, Kliff, you didnt do what I think you did!
Five seconds later I cut the string on her bikini top.
Prudence screamed again, Youre a dead man, Kliff, you perverted bastard.
I dropped the knife and five seconds later I was running for cover like a cockroach caught in the open when the kitchen light is turned on.
To understand what happened next you must understand the situation. My parents believed proper dress included a collared shirt, so naturally they told the doctor after my birth to leave his scalpel in its sheath. Thus, I remained to this day a whole man, so to speak. Therefore you can imagine my horror when the other night I bared the Little Corporal to take a leak in my backyard and out of the corner of my eye saw this blade glowing in the dark, hovering a few scant inches away. In the ghostly luminescence of knifes light I could barely make out Prudence as she stood there with the knife in her hand. And of course by then it was already too late. They say my screams brought cats running in from blocks away.
The doctor said I should heal in no time, and given the, uh, circumstances, Prudence did a pretty good job overall. Even so I cant help feeling underdressed now, like wearing a tee-shirt to a formal dinner.
Oh, and one final thing. Leave that SSCFD2 stuff to the scientists. Dont take chances with space and time. It is dangerous and too unpredictable, or to paraphrase Einstein one more time, God does not throw knives.
Kliff