Thank God that's over!!!

trane fan

trane fan

Joined
Jul 25, 2002
Messages
3,527
A Rainbow Vacuum Cleaner salesman just left our house and am I glad he's gone. :eek: :eek: It all started one evening last week when one of my co-workers called me and told me that she could get a free air purifier for her home (it's supposedly the be-all end-all whizbang purifier of all time :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ) which would be really good for their three-year-old son (who my Wife and I adore), if my Wife and I would let this vacuum salesman come to our home and make his "brief" pitch. Bear in mind that I like and respect my co-worker and, as I said earlier we adore their little boy, so I said OK (knowing I'd end up killing her for this mess :mad: :rolleyes: ). Any way, after sitting through this 1.5 hour inane demonstration we tell the guy that not only are we not interested but we aren't comfortable giving him any names of friends because we don't want to make them sit through this same torture. So he looks crestfallen and slowly packs up his wares and ambles out the door saying "If you change your mind please let me know." So, who else has let some salesperson into their home as a favor to a friend? Did you later kill the friend or at least make them take you out to lunch as payback? :D ;)
 
I have a simple way to handle these problems: "I am leaving for an important business meeting in 15 minutes. You have ten. At the end of those ten, I will write you a check for the cleaner or not. Go."


"Well I really can't cover all the wonderful features of this"

"The entire Christian faith can be summarized in the 110 words of the Apostolic Creed which can be recited in about two minutes. Your cleaner is not that great, but you now have nine minutes. I suggest you get started."
 
Gollnick said:
I have a simple way to handle these problems: "I am leaving for an important business meeting in 15 minutes. You have ten. At the end of those ten, I will write you a check for the cleaner or not. Go."


"Well I really can't cover all the wonderful features of this"

"The entire Christian faith can be summarized in the 110 words of the Apostolic Creed which can be recited in about two minutes. You now have nine. I suggest you get started."
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Unfortunately, for the "referral source" to get credit you have let the salesperson do the "full" demonstration. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Otherwise, the guy would have had about 5 minutes. :mad: :rolleyes:
 
Ok, so you call a friend up and say, "Call me back in 15 minutes and then just play along. I need to get rid of this salesman that's coming over."

15 minutes later...

"And if you buy now I can include this attachment that froths milk for coffee drinks and hot"

Ring

"Excuse me, I'll get rid of this call quickly... Hello, Trane Fan residence.... This is Mr. Fan... (suddenly with serious tone) WHAT?... IS HE OK?... MY GOD!... of course... General Hospital, yes, got it. We're on our way."

"Honey, go and get the insurance file, I'll explain in the car. You, oh, gather all this up and get out here... now! We have to leave."







Another option is to take the opportunity to have some fun with the guy. Ask questions like, "That crack and crevise tool looks interesting, but does this vacuum have any 'fun' attachments?"

"Fun attachments?"

"You know, 'adult oriented' attachments? Our current cleaner came with quite an assortment! It's not so good on the rugs, but we have a lot of fun with it, don't we dear?"




Or, make them work for you, "Our current cleaner can't clean that ceiling fan up there, show us how yours can.... Nice. Does it do windows?"



"
 
Salesman I don't worry about because I can make them feel so uncomfortable that they beg to leave. It's the Jehovahs Witnesses that I like screwing with. I had two of them catch me off guard in the backyard while I was clearing some brush with a machete. They walked right into the backyard and asked they could have a minute of my time. I stand up, machete in hand, and ask if they are JW's. He answers yes. I then tell them they 15 seconds to get off my property before I start swinging. They hightailed it out of there real quick. Usually if they catch me indoors I tell them to wait on the porch and I'll be with them in a second. I go get the shot gun, rack the slide when it's within earshot of them, and they're gone before I open the door.
 
K.V. Collucci said:
Salesman I don't worry about because I can make them feel so uncomfortable that they beg to leave. It's the Jehovahs Witnesses that I like screwing with. I had two of them catch me off guard in the backyard while I was clearing some brush with a machete. They walked right into the backyard and asked they could have a minute of my time. I stand up, machete in hand, and ask if they are JW's. He answers yes. I then tell them they 15 seconds to get off my property before I start swinging. They hightailed it out of there real quick. Usually if they catch me indoors I tell them to wait on the porch and I'll be with them in a second. I go get the shot gun, rack the slide when it's within earshot of them, and they're gone before I open the door.
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The last time a JW came to our door I told him I had found a religion with which I was comfortable and that I preferred to stick to it. He then asked "What religion?" I replied, Charismatic Buddhism. I then closed the door as he stood there in stunned silence trying to figure how such a religion was possible. :D ;)
 
I used to meet them at the door with a bottle of Jim Beam in hand and offer them a drink. Then when they refused take a big hit and tell em to get the hell out, I don't talk religion without a drink.

They haven't talked to me in quite a while. There was one day when two women JWs came to the door and I answered it in a pair of jockey shorts with a beer in hand. They left fast, too.

The mormon missionaries used to come see me when I lived in NE Utah, They quit after I told them I couldn't join up cause then I'd be a hypocrit. They looked at me funny and I said well I am an unbeliever so if I joined you church I would have to lie about believing. They left and didn't come back either. Determined resistance goes a lomg way with people who are used to good manners and polite treatment.
 
Oh man...JK's...LOVE 'em! I get into it with them. I always try to convernt them to be Catholics...it's too much fun. Now that I'm 21 I'm going to have the bottle of whiskey thing.

here at my apartment building I always get Time Warner trying to get me to switch. I always lie to them and say stuff like "can you beat $10 a month for 5mbps line and all the gay porn channels? No? Didn't think so...hey, you want to come in for a roofie-colada?"
 
lets see....

cutco... out proformed his demo knife with a freshly sharpened spydie edge endura... and then tried to get the steel info out of him.... left quickly

JW's... I answer the door sharpening a knife, or ask them inside for a drink.

salesmen... we set up an appt for carpet cleaning, on our hardwood :D ... cable or high speed, we ask them to beat our t2 for $40/month...
 
When I lived in the Bronx, the building was crawling with JWs, they lived there, and they made regular trips up and down the hall, just in case we changed our minds. I think they sent the newbies to practice on us. My friends expected to see my dog when they stopped by, but the JWs always seemed surprised to see a Great Dane drooling at them when I opened the door.

You just can't be polite with them. They'll keep you there being polite until they can kick you in the shin and force their way in ... of course that didn't happen with the dog ...

Mormons on the other hand were never a problem. When we lived upstate, they would stop by now and again. All we had to say was, hello, not interested, have a nice day, and they'd leave smiling.

Unlike most of the JWs, the Mormons always looked like they bathed regularly.
 
I see them from time to time, was out for a long long walk, and they stopped and began their spiel. I told them I wasn't interested, and then I saw them drive up a wooded hill to my neighbors house. Well, I could hear them giving him their spiel, and sure enough, KA CHAK! I don't think I've ever seen a car go by that fast on my old country roads!
 
The trick is to own aggressive appearing dogs. Large is best, but it's really the growling and snarling that count.
 
Cough and sneeze all over everything, ask to touch all the equipment and apologize for being ill tell him your waiting for the doctors to call back with the test results, tell them you've already ruled out AIDS but they're testing for herpes and a few other nondeadly STDs, then offer him cookies you made with your own 2 little hands. :D
 
My dog rolls over for the cat, how aggressive is that? I guess it's better than my last dog, I loved that dog very much, but he had a very bad temper. Pissed off at everybody and everything.
 
T. Erdelyi said:
Cough and sneeze all over everything, ask to touch all the equipment and apologize for being ill tell him your waiting for the doctors to call back with the test results, tell them you've already ruled out AIDS but they're testing for herpes and a few other nondeadly STDs, then offer him cookies you made with your own 2 little hands. :D
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I tip my hat to the master. That's pure genious.
 
That didn't work for me, I was waiting in the mall for my honey, and was sick as a dog. I got bothered for about 15 minutes by these goofballs.
 
silenthunterstudios said:
My dog rolls over for the cat, how aggressive is that? I guess it's better than my last dog, I loved that dog very much, but he had a very bad temper. Pissed off at everybody and everything.
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BWAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! How the heck did that happen?!

VampyreWolf, how do you get T2 for $40/month?!?!


I've opened the door and pretended not to speak English.

Also, they generally leave you alone if you come to the door wearing a face mask and respirator, or carrying a kitchen knife.

But I think my funniest encounter was the very first JW that knocked on my door. I was 16 or 17 at the time, I didn't know who he was or what he wanted, and he asked me what I thought of the world. I went into a five minute speech on the theories of Thomas Malthus, and the ongoing debate of whether people are inherently good or evil. When I was finished, he had the most priceless blank stare on his face, and his daughter looked like she was going to die of boredom. After an awkward pause, he handed me a leaflet and said he'd be back in a week if I had any questions. I never saw him again :p


These days I just tell them I'm not interested, and I only get annoying/hostile if they press.
 
Like Esav, I've never been bothered by the Mormons. And they come by pretty regular. They have always been polite and about as unobtrusive as anyone who rings your doorbell can be.

I've only had one group of Jehova Witnesses come by. Years ago. They were rude and they kept insisting that I take one of their brochures. I finally took it so they would leave. They then tried to charge me for it! :rolleyes: I lost my temper and cussed them out as I ran them off. I warned them to never come around again. So far they haven't. :D
 
JW's - hmm I like the time I told them that the gig about not taking blood in surgery if needed even for thier kids bothered me- if they want to die fine but the kid thing bugs me. He came back with the verse about consuming blood and I asked if he ever cut his finger and instead of bleeding on the floor stick it in his mouth? or if a kid is hurt and ya kiss the "boo boo"- if you get one cell on/in ya are ya going to hell? I said heck it did not distinguish amounts or type of blood so how about that rare steak ya' had last week? That kid was so confused he brought back some of the elders the next week ;^) that was in the old days now I sit down and lead them to Christ... makes for an interesting afternoon ! When you come to my turf it is a whole new ballgame!
 
heheheh well I USED to get bothered by the JW so one day they so kindly woke me up on my one day off (Sunday) by banging on the door and continuously ringing the bell so I got out of bed, grabbed a beer (of course my hair is a righteous tangled mess, and have a day and a half growth of beard on my face) answered the door nekkid asked the ladies if they wanted a drink..... haven't seen a JW since then in 1997

the Mormons are always polite they don't stop by anymore because my wife asked them nicely not to and I appreciate their candor and no harm no foul attitude, but last winter I was excercising the engines on a couple of my vehicles I used to have and got my 2 wheel drive chevy tank pickup stuck (3/4 ton long bed) they offered to push to get me unstuck... well I just looked over and nicely said "you see that blazer with 4 wheel drive, if I get anxious I will just grab it and push this pickup where I want it" (I didn't want to sling mud and dirt all over them as they were clean) I did get the old girl a movin round the block again and got her parked, was fun. :D
 
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