- Joined
- Apr 27, 1999
- Messages
- 620
BFC Wire Services March 18, 2000
Informed sources have revealed that Bill Martino, of Himalayan Imports, has been involved in the testing of Top Secret research being conducted at an undisclosed location in the Nevada desert.
Bill, who was admitted to St Mary's hospital on Friday, was whisked away by government agents and taken to a highly secure government facility early Saturday morning. He is said to be the first human subject to test a federally financed Cellular Re-generation device that has been in development since the early 1990's. Sources inside the facility have advised that the device is working "Beyond our wildest expectations".
Although refusing to disclose technical data on the device, our source was able to provide a picture of a much rejuvenated Mr. Martino wearing the classified unit.
Attorney General Janet Reno allegedly visited Mr. Martino late today to discuss the effects of the technology. When asked about his meeting with Ms. Reno, Bill replied that he "Didn't know anything about any Attorney General" and claimed that the only visitor he had was "Some ugly transvestite who wouldn't go get him a pack of smokes".
When asked to comment on the secret device, Bill said it was "kinda neat" but expressed concern about a possible fire hazzard if he happened to "Pass gas from the lousy food here". Our informed source was quoted as saying that the only problems seen with the new device so far were "all the TV's changing channels and garage doors opening for a 6 mile radius every time the device was turned on". These discrepancies are presently under investigation.
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Keep smiling Bill. There are a few thousand of us praying for you.
Blackdog
Informed sources have revealed that Bill Martino, of Himalayan Imports, has been involved in the testing of Top Secret research being conducted at an undisclosed location in the Nevada desert.
Bill, who was admitted to St Mary's hospital on Friday, was whisked away by government agents and taken to a highly secure government facility early Saturday morning. He is said to be the first human subject to test a federally financed Cellular Re-generation device that has been in development since the early 1990's. Sources inside the facility have advised that the device is working "Beyond our wildest expectations".
Although refusing to disclose technical data on the device, our source was able to provide a picture of a much rejuvenated Mr. Martino wearing the classified unit.
Attorney General Janet Reno allegedly visited Mr. Martino late today to discuss the effects of the technology. When asked about his meeting with Ms. Reno, Bill replied that he "Didn't know anything about any Attorney General" and claimed that the only visitor he had was "Some ugly transvestite who wouldn't go get him a pack of smokes".
When asked to comment on the secret device, Bill said it was "kinda neat" but expressed concern about a possible fire hazzard if he happened to "Pass gas from the lousy food here". Our informed source was quoted as saying that the only problems seen with the new device so far were "all the TV's changing channels and garage doors opening for a 6 mile radius every time the device was turned on". These discrepancies are presently under investigation.
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Keep smiling Bill. There are a few thousand of us praying for you.
Blackdog
