oupa
BANNED
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2001
- Messages
- 1,102
The postman came today.
To you folks this might not be anything special, but here, in the Outback of Australia, it is quite an event.
The highlight of the week, you might say.
Especially here at my place being 137 miles from the nearest town and all.
Since my wife left and went back to her mother a couple of years ago, I dont get many visitors at all.
But then, I did not get many visitors before she left either, but thats another story.
Old Tom (thats the postie) has been doing this postal delivery round for as long as I can remember.
He knew my Dad before me as well.
Mate, come to think about it, he knows everything about everybody and a lot about people who do not even exist.
Anyway, he drops this fat envelope on the kitchen table, after he had finished half of his beer, complained about the weather and asked me how the wife was (he knows damn well she has gone, but just cannot leave the her out of it ever since he accidentally opened a parcel of mine and saw it contained a magazine with pictures of all kinds of naked sheilas in it.)
Anyways, after the old fart had finished his beer and left, I had a closer look at the envelope.
Postmarked Golden Colorado.
Hm a bit suspicious mate dont know anybody in Golden, or Colorado for that matter.
One has to be careful these days, what with all them terrorists and all that.
So I left it sitting there, on the kitchen table, for a couple of days.
I was sitting across the table from it one morning, when I wondered if there was a return address on the back of it.
So I very carefully flipped it over with my barbecue tongs.
Nothing happened.
Return address from some sheila called Joyce.
This rocked me mate and I looked around quickly with a feeling as if my blood had been sucked out and iced water pumped in.
Thats when I remembered that I do not have to be worried about the wife anymore.
What a relief mate, Ill tell you.
Took a while for the heart to settle down anyways.
But then I was thinking what if it is one of those moving picture blokes who needs me for another Crocodile Dundee movie or maybe to wrestle with some doped up crocodile like that bloke on the TV?
You know those drug addicted types who hang around Hollywood, but I remembered that Hollywood was in Las Vegas or some such place and not in Colorado.
Well if it was dangerous, it probably would have exploded, or something, by now surely.
So, I pinned it to the table with a fork and carefully cut a little window out of the envelope using my Spyderco Rescue knife and being very careful and all that.
Whats that mate?
Why use a Spyderco Rescue?
Because you can rely on a Spyderco and besides it is the only knife Ive got so now you know.
Well, I peeked inside and I sees this little spider sitting there.
Well not actually sitting there, just a picture of one sitting there.
A Spyderco 2002 cat-on-a-log.
Well blow me down mate, Ill tell you what a pleasant surprise!
Had a cabbage, egg and hot curry stew the previous night (got to use what you got, my mom always said) and topped it off with a raison, prune and sour cream pudding.
Very nice, thank you very much, but it does have its downside.
Loosens the old insides thats for sure, mate.
So I spent a long afternoon in the smallest room in the house, reading my new cat-on a-log.
What a feast of choice cutlery not to mention all the nice pocketknives!
Got onto the Internet and rang up my mate there in the states.
He is quite a well to do sort of a bloke owns his own website and all.
Sells knives and things.
So now I have a Lum Chinese - a green one, an Endura with 50/50 blade and black handles and that little Toad coming my way.
For the first time in a while I am actually looking forward to a visit from old Tom.
In fact, I cannot wait for his visit.
Thought you blokes might want to know.
To you folks this might not be anything special, but here, in the Outback of Australia, it is quite an event.
The highlight of the week, you might say.
Especially here at my place being 137 miles from the nearest town and all.
Since my wife left and went back to her mother a couple of years ago, I dont get many visitors at all.
But then, I did not get many visitors before she left either, but thats another story.
Old Tom (thats the postie) has been doing this postal delivery round for as long as I can remember.
He knew my Dad before me as well.
Mate, come to think about it, he knows everything about everybody and a lot about people who do not even exist.
Anyway, he drops this fat envelope on the kitchen table, after he had finished half of his beer, complained about the weather and asked me how the wife was (he knows damn well she has gone, but just cannot leave the her out of it ever since he accidentally opened a parcel of mine and saw it contained a magazine with pictures of all kinds of naked sheilas in it.)
Anyways, after the old fart had finished his beer and left, I had a closer look at the envelope.
Postmarked Golden Colorado.
Hm a bit suspicious mate dont know anybody in Golden, or Colorado for that matter.
One has to be careful these days, what with all them terrorists and all that.
So I left it sitting there, on the kitchen table, for a couple of days.
I was sitting across the table from it one morning, when I wondered if there was a return address on the back of it.
So I very carefully flipped it over with my barbecue tongs.
Nothing happened.
Return address from some sheila called Joyce.
This rocked me mate and I looked around quickly with a feeling as if my blood had been sucked out and iced water pumped in.
Thats when I remembered that I do not have to be worried about the wife anymore.
What a relief mate, Ill tell you.
Took a while for the heart to settle down anyways.
But then I was thinking what if it is one of those moving picture blokes who needs me for another Crocodile Dundee movie or maybe to wrestle with some doped up crocodile like that bloke on the TV?
You know those drug addicted types who hang around Hollywood, but I remembered that Hollywood was in Las Vegas or some such place and not in Colorado.
Well if it was dangerous, it probably would have exploded, or something, by now surely.
So, I pinned it to the table with a fork and carefully cut a little window out of the envelope using my Spyderco Rescue knife and being very careful and all that.
Whats that mate?
Why use a Spyderco Rescue?
Because you can rely on a Spyderco and besides it is the only knife Ive got so now you know.
Well, I peeked inside and I sees this little spider sitting there.
Well not actually sitting there, just a picture of one sitting there.
A Spyderco 2002 cat-on-a-log.
Well blow me down mate, Ill tell you what a pleasant surprise!
Had a cabbage, egg and hot curry stew the previous night (got to use what you got, my mom always said) and topped it off with a raison, prune and sour cream pudding.
Very nice, thank you very much, but it does have its downside.
Loosens the old insides thats for sure, mate.
So I spent a long afternoon in the smallest room in the house, reading my new cat-on a-log.
What a feast of choice cutlery not to mention all the nice pocketknives!
Got onto the Internet and rang up my mate there in the states.
He is quite a well to do sort of a bloke owns his own website and all.
Sells knives and things.
So now I have a Lum Chinese - a green one, an Endura with 50/50 blade and black handles and that little Toad coming my way.
For the first time in a while I am actually looking forward to a visit from old Tom.
In fact, I cannot wait for his visit.
Thought you blokes might want to know.
