The REVENGEFUL EAR FIGHTER and NECK HATCHET Webpage is Here!

Vampire Gerbil

Vampire Gerbil

Gone, but not forgotten. RIP Dave
Platinum Member
Joined
Sep 21, 1999
Messages
1,819
Good Evening.
It is I, Vampire Gerbil.

Please forgive the brevity of this post, but I have spent thousands of hours on Monday creating the Ear modification to the REVENGEFUL EAR FIGHTER, blade made my Jerry Hossom as well as modeling the R.E.F and the NECK HATCHET, made by Rob Simonich.
After all those millions of hours, I went ahead and made a webpage for all to see. IT IS HERE!

Now if you'll forgive me, I have to soak my earlobe in some bleach to relieve the throbbing.

Sobbing like a schoolgirl,
I remain,
VG
 
Good gracious. I just went through VG's various web pages. I think I need a valium...or some lithium...or maybe a shower. There oughta be a warning in the FAQs about Count Rodentia so newbies like me aren't traumatized.
 
Man, your web page is intense. I hope I can still have babies some day.

I think you should take this to another level with the ear fighter. Another nice attack would be the Pirouette of Utter Retribution, complete with pink Tactical Tutu. Maybe you could get Lorena to help with this one. Mount the ear fighter as usual, but a spinning attack would fling the blade out by the spinning action. I call it the "Ever Menacing Spin of Centrifigul Earborne Annihilation" or maybe, "Twirling Sharp Hurty Thing", whichever you prefer. A quick release mechanism for the ear fighter would facilitate a missile attack, given the proper timing of the release. Much practice would be required for sufficient accuracy, though. Training could be hazardous for bystanders. Oh well, you'll have that sometimes. Probably just the appearance of the "Battle Pink" Tactical Tutu and the foreboding sight of a properly weilded Revengeful Ear Fighter would deter most assailants, but I say it's always better to be prepared. Thoughts?
 
-= deleted at request of DOD =-

I probably shouldn't have shared this with the public, it's really only suitable for "Real Operators".

VG, email me if you need a discreet source for "Battle Pink" Kevlar by the yard.
 
Grapevine - I would think that VG's username would be warning enough of impending weirdness.

VG - Great pictures, though the distended left earlobe gives you a slightly lopsided appearance. I think you should get a blade for your other ear, too, for the sake of symmetry and so as to be able to get the most out of the death pirouette suggested by unixdork.
 
Oh, and need I add that a nose piercing could be equally useful? Just think of all that whirling metal!
 
Thanks Vampire Gerbil....I went to your site and was sidetracked to by the Survivak Sheath website...and before I knew what was happening I was ordering stuff.

And nice earrings...I will have to try that as my wife says I have pretty meaty earlobes.
 
Dear Mr. Grapevine,
Good Evening, it's me.
I am sorry about your traumatization and hope you recover swiftly. However, I cannot condone the use of pharmaceuticals. While I have a prescription for Crack and LSD, I am the exception to the rule. I have found that significant doses of the mentioned medicines help me to see the world in a normaller manner. An added benefit is that I manage to delay the painting of my house due to the melting walls.

Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms Unixdork,
Good Evening, it's me.
My what a horrible looking baby you are! I mean that in a nice way. I thank you for your suggestions regarding the possible tactical aspects of these deadly weapons I designed, but I choose to develop my own methods, so's not to have to share my profits with anyone. I am a cheap bastid.

Nathan, it's me.
I see in your profile that you're an attorney. Perhaps you could file a suit against both Rob Simonich and Jerry Hossom for the disfigurement I have suffered from their blades?
(Hossom's responsible for the distended earlobe, Simonich is the reason I have no nipples)
I realize this is an entirely frivolous suit, but I'm just trying to get rich. As payment to you, rather than the customary 33 1/3% that you receive when I win, I'll give you Rob and Jerry's share of their profits in the NECK HATCHET and REVENGEFUL EAR FIGHTER deals.

Tony, yep, it's still me.
You'll be thrilled with SSS's product! I just ordered a concealex sheath for my Leatherman Wave from Rob and that oughta be here at any minute. He's a great guy.
That said, don't forget to send me my 600% commission on the price of whatever you got from Rob!

Having visions of writhing nakedly in piles of coins,
I remain,
VG
PS - How do ya like my new avatar? I remind me of those guys in the knife/gun magazines that sell them self defense things!
 
I rightclicked one of the pictures intending to open it in a new window and I accidentally hit save! Now my hard drive is contaminated! Ackkkkk! Ackkkkkkkkk! Ackkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
 
Cougar, if ya want, I can send over my personal computer technician and fix the problem for ya.
Please say yes, so I can get Lorena outta here for a while.

Wondering if CA realizes that Lorena knows as much about computers as I know about monkey wrangling,
I remain,
VG
 
VG - If you're looking for riches, you might want to put your severed nipples up for sale on E-Bay. I'll bet the bidding would be ferocious!

With regard to suing Mr. Hossom and Mr. Simonich, while I do not normally approve of frivolous lawsuits, I might have to change my mind in this case. Forget the usual percentage, though.

I want a hunter - killer from Hossom: http://www.hossom.com/page4.html

and a Simonich / Darrel Ralph talonite EDC: http://www.simonichknives.com/collaboration.htm

Then we can talk.
 
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