Things you won't hear on TV!

[JD Mandrell]

OK, time for someting funny, post your best "Thing you won't hear on TV line".

Mine are:

"Welcome folks to the NASCAR Nextell Cup Daytona 500, please rise for the singing of the national Anthem by recording artist...Michael Jackson"

"Tonight on C-Span we bring you coverage of the annual conference on violence against women, with key-note speaker O.J. Simpson"

 

[fixer27]

How about a commercial for a medicine that says "Our new medicine Aflix is
the only proven cure for sneezing, side effects include arterial collapse, acne
possible aneuryism, stroke, blackouts, cravings for cocaine. Aww heck folks
who are we kidding? This medicine will probably kill you. Ask your doctor for
a prescription for Aflix a money saving coupon is available at www.Morticians
NeedWorkToo.com"

And if you prepay your registration fee at the NRA conference in NYC, you
can meet the keynote speaker Sen. Hillary Clinton at the door where she will
be autographing her new book "I have a handgun on the nighstand, and so
should you" Register at "www.Hellhasfrozenover.com"

 

[Tiewas]

"Well, the green party has won all the elections this year."

"This just in, President Schwarzeneger now wishes to be reffered to as Alice Schwarzeneger. In a surprise move the former republican is now seeking votes for re-election from the democratic party by having a sex change operation. GO Ar...Alice."

 

[fixer27]

"Well, the green party has won all the elections this year."

"This just in, President Schwarzeneger now wishes to be reffered to as Alice Schwarzeneger. In a surprise move the former republican is now seeking votes for re-election from the democratic party by having a sex change operation. GO Ar...Alice."

Would that make Alice "The president formerly known as Arnold?"

 

[Tiewas]

Would that make Alice "The president formerly known as Arnold?"

Yeah, or his wife might bash his brains in...That chicks mean lookin.

 

[lagarto]

Yeah, or his wife might bash his brains in..

We can only hope.

Today in the news... Something decent happened for a change (gd parasitic disaster purveying vultures)

Lagarto