Top 10 Reasons You Know You're A Knife Knut

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knifenerd

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Dec 27, 2000
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OK, here they are. I'll start this off with a couple and the rest of you--feel free to chime in.

10. You get to know your local UPS driver so well he invites you to his daughter's wedding.

9. Cindy Crawford calls to invite you on a date and you tell her to call back later--you're sharpening your knives.

8. Your UPS driver's daughter gets divorced and your driver wants you to meet her because he thinks you're rich.

7. You tell him you're too busy to meet his lovely daughter because you're still sharpening your knives.


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Take it away!:D :D

Moderators--Move this if it's not appropriate here.
 
You finally get the date with Cindy Crawford and spend the whole time lecturing her on the attributes of ATS-34 vs D2 Vs Talonite vs S30V vs ....
 
You spend way too much money on a knife made with state of the art materials. Then you have to explain to your wife why you want to keep it safely wrapped up, unused, because it is so-o-o-o nice.
 
You can id the material, blade type, name and maker with less than a half second glimps of ANY knife on T.V.:p

We can all do that right?:confused:

You could bore the pants of a metalurgist with the info and stats of the make up and benifits of one steel vs another.:p

You think, nice food for a while or cheap food and a knife...:rolleyes:

Everytime you use a knife you inspect it very closely for edge damage or wear.

Looking for rust spots becomes a way of life.
 
6) You literally eat, sleep, and drink knives! (in otherwords, they're always on your mind)

5) You absolutely hate the thought of spending $5.00 or more for shipping a knife you just spent $500.00 on.

4) UPS or USPS jitters. You see a flash in the general location of your mailbox, and you do double takes, or even triple takes.

3) Have lost sleep over knife deals, but always fall asleep by thinking of your own collection.

2) Test the edge on restaurant cutlery with your thumb before using.

1) You can stomach the crappy food at gun and knife shows, but the meer sight of "Paki-Crappy" knives on vendors tables causes instant dry-heaves.
 
These signs have concerned me lately:

There is no hair on my arms.
My kitchen knives have a mirror polished edge and I wince when my wife uses them.
I have pages and pages of color printouts of knives I like in the bathroom.
I asked my wife to take off her belt the other day because I needed to strop something.
I travel to relative's houses with a Sharpmaker so that I can keep busy.

There are more, but I'm not too proud of them...
 
I got my property taxes and can't decide whether pay them first or buy a new knife.:eek: I only have enough for one or the other, hmmmmm, a new knife, yep definately.:D
 
when your "normal" friends get cut you ALWAYS have a better scar to trump their injury:D
 
When you have a jogging knife, a knife for my jeans, a knife for my cargo's, and 10 different "back-ups", all with different palces to hide them at cause one is none, two is one.

When you have to have one on the top, middle, and bottom part of your body.
 
You get caught in a sudden rain shower and all you worry about is having to dry out the half dozen knives you are carrying...

You have got more pictures of your knives than your wife...

Most of the dealers know you by your credit card number...

Andrew Limsk
 
#1 way to know you are a knife nut:


You had enough time to write and/or respond to a thread called:
Top 10 Reasons You Know You're A Knife Knut
 
There isn't a single magazine, newspaper, or piece of scrap paper that hasn't been used to test sharpness.

You leave a note for a friend, but it doesn't say anything, it's just a bunch of slices in the paper, and he still knows it was you.
 
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