Touched by disease giveaway

CUTS LIKE A KRIS

CUTS LIKE A KRIS

Joined
Sep 28, 2005
Messages
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My mother in law passed away from cancer in September, and with her birthday coming up on Feb.6 my wife wanted to have a giveaway. The winner will be decided by Juli on her mom's birthday, but she wanted to hear how terminal disease has touched other peoples lives- kind of a group healing thread. To enter please let her know how you healed, what happened, or anything that you wish.

I am starting this off with my story (but don't worry, it was the first knife I bought her so I won't enter the competition). I am in school for massage therapy right now and most of our semester was dealing with terminal, diseased and geriatric individuals. Watching my mother in law die was a learning experience, as I was kind of on the sidelines, but my family has a long history of dealing with death (my dad died when I was 8, and I have lost somebody close nearly every year- and 3 funerals and 2 deaths on my birthday). Despite my experience with death this was my first time dealing with terminal illness and watching somebody fade away. This Christmas my aunt was allowed to pass away after suffering 4 heart attacks and a stroke in one day, following 2 small bowel transplant rejections from Crohnes disease. My wife was not ready to experience this so soon, but I was there with my family as she passed. I am not very emotional when dealing with death, and was kind of fascinated that both of my recent experiences were so close together in terms of how both ladies ended their lives and how both sets of families reacted to the inevitable. It feels kind of cold and clinical, but that is how I am, and I am going to be working on terminal individuals in my career most likely, so I know that I can handle giving somebody as much comfort as I can toward the end.

My mother in law was my knife buddy of Juli's family. The biggest compliment I ever got knife related was when she commented (shortly after moving to the arctic to stay with them for 4 months in between University semesters) "The only person I have ever seen who could get knives this sharp was my father." She would show appreciation for the knives that I made, and would honestly tell me what she though. It was basically through knives that we connected, and for the longest time she was the closest member of Juli's family to me. It is this special relationship that is one of the things I will miss with her.

BTW, here is the knife to be given away- A nicely kept Western Bird and trout that was the knife my wife learned to sharpen on. I was going to sharpen it before sending it out, but it can cleanly cut newspaper and trim arm hair, so I will give the lucky winner her edge on it.

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The contest will run until my mother in law's birthday on Feb. 6 and Juli will read each post and decide who wins (although for something like this I think we can all gain something from it)- but she is unsure how she will decide yet.



P.S. I know a bit about Vampire Gerbil, but I am sure his story and the support I have seen here in his memory would be appropriate if his friends wish to tell their story about him.

Thanks all- Kris.
 
Lost my father from chronic luekemia (50 years old) at 17. My brother (23) is about to get a bone marrow transplant at Stanford for chemo resistant Hodgkins. My mom just finished her radiation for breast cancer. We'll see.
 
Three years ago today, on January 11th, my grandfather(affectionately called Gung Gung) passed away. He was a brilliant and amazing man and was 100% in all things. He worked hard all his life and was rewarded for it with success, but retirement was his bane. Without the work to do, his mind deteriorated and Alzheimers set in. He fought the Alzeimers and his deteriorating physical state for three years, but on January 10th while he was back in his home country of Jamaica, he seemed to come down with some sort of cough and while we were all sleeping he passed away. On the morning of my birthday, Jan 11th, we found out that my grandfather had died. A lot of people cringe when they find out that I lost my grandfather on my birthday, but I appreciate it in a way. I will always be able to remember the day he died and will always remember the brilliant old man who would always tell me to "eat up" because he wanted me to grow strong.
I will always keep the last birthday card that I got that had both my grandmother and grandfather's signature on it.
 
My uncle died of cancer, its was tough to someone so tough as nails fade away slowly...its never been the same without him around... My grandmother has Alzheimers right now, her mind is slowly fading away, but i cherish our conversations and the time she has left...Death is something that i dont think anyone can fully understand, but it shows us that we should value the time we had with people, cause it can all be taken away...
 
Kris,
Please accept my condolences to you and your Wife for your loss.

I lost my Grandmother from Brain Cancer about 10 years ago. Whenever I think and reminisce about it, it still brings tears to my eyes.
I think any healing for me over the years has been in remembering. Aside from my immediate family I've never been closer to anyone else other than my Grandparents.
A very kind lady whom always welcomed my Sister and I into their home ever since we were born unto this Earth.
They lived in a cosy little trailer in a park that no longer exists. My Grandfather was a Math Teacher and my Grandmother tended to home activities. I remember running into their trailer at a young age and after some rather anxious hello's, hugs, and kisses making a bee-line to the back floor chest which was eventually turned into a full time toy box to see what new goodies had been stowed there since the last visit.

Later on as we grew older my Sister and I would walk down from the center of town to their place while my Father tended to the bookstore he looked after on weekends. We would enjoy Crapes with Roger's syrup and canned peaches for desert, coupled with her chatter and talk about our latest ventures in life. Company and kindness that we (at that age) thought only a Grandparent could provide.

I think what has helped me over the years is that I've never forgotten those times and the love and the role and the difference they made in our lives that kept us going onwards and upwards through these sometimes trying times of life.

Take care and hoping it's all onwards and upwards for you!

Sincerely,
Sean
 
We lost my grandmother to cancer in 2005; she lost a kidney to a tumor, and was going through chemo when she had a heart attack, and the doctors advised stopping chemo; basically, grandma was terminal, and she & everyone else knew it. They felt that after the heart attack, chemo would weaken her further and only increase her chances of dying sooner. After a conference with her, the doctors, and the family, we stopped the chemo.

We had just seen her in June of that year, and she got to meet my son for the first and only time. When she saw him, she immediately laughed out loud and said, "he looks just like Chris did at that age!", and he does. (His resemblance to me, in my kindergarten pictures, is amazing; many people can't tell the difference.)

We spent several days with her, having a mini-family-reunion, summer Christmas party and early birthday celebration, as we knew she wouldn't be there with us to see the next ones. She was able to sit with us for a nice dinner, and spent most of the time on her couch, as we'd all visit with her. She was as happy as we'd seen her in years.

Fast forward to October, and she had the heart attack during her chemo treatments, and her condition started to deteriorate soon after. I made the decision to go see her one last time. My mother & sister & I were with her when she passed, and it was one of the most profound (and of course saddest) times of my life.

So, even though there were some hard decisions and tough emotional things to work through, we all agreed later that we were glad for the way things turned out, since we got to say goodbye. Most of all, it meant everything to my grandmother to have us all there during her last two days, and since it meant so much to her, it all meant so much more to us.

thx - cpr
 
My grandma, who I called Nana passed away a few years ago and her birthday was Feb. 7th! it's not necessarily a disease (well maybe heart disease) but i'm going to tell her story anyways. She had a stroke and fell on the floor. She was unable to get up and contact anyone. She lay on the floor for an estimated 2 hours before she pulled the phone off the wall by its cord and was somehow able to dial my great grandfathers (her father) number. he lived next door. he was able to call 911 which saved her life. but as many people who know stroke victims can guess, her quality of life was extremely decreased. she could no longer take care of herself. she couldn't cook, clean, or even work a tv remote correctly. she just lost the cognitive ability to that. my mother took care of her a lot, but she was still okay. until one day a few years later when she had another stroke AND a heart attack. how this didnt kill her i do not know. it did leave her in a vegetative state however. and once her insurance wouldnt pay to keep her on machines to keep her alive we decided the best thing to do was pull the plug.

before all this happened she was one of the nicest women i knew. between me and my brother i was definitely her favorite and she loved me more than anything. she would have done anything for me, as i would have for her. she had no indications of any heart problems and there is no family history of it either. it really does prove the old saying 'live every day like it's your last because it could be'
 
On a different note ...

My grandmother lived alone, widowed some years before, weakened by diabetes, but still alert and capable of taking care of herself. My uncle used to call her on Sundays, just to talk, and ask if she might like some company. So he and my aunt would drive down to visit.

One Sunday she didn't answer the phone, so after a few calls they went to see how she was doing. They had to let themselves into the apartment, and found her in bed, smiling, having left us quietly during the night.
 
you know it was 17 years ago that my mother passed away and reading this thread still makes it hurt. she was first diagnosed with breast cancer when i was around eight or nine, went through chemo and radiation, went into remission, right after about the five year mark (when they say normally if it hasn't come back it probly won't) they found it had come back, spread through her vitals and into her brain. needless to say it didn't take long for it to take her, at the end she was on liquid morphine and barely knew where she was. then she went into a coma. at the time i was in extra-curriculars in high school (i was fifteen by this time) and normally i would go into her room and tell her about how my day went even though she was in the coma. one night i got home really late, didn't stop to talk to her, and she passed away the next morning. yeah it still hurts that just because i was feeling tired and didn't want to see my mom sick i never got that last chance to talk to her.
ALWAYS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY YOU HAVE WITH YOU LOVED ONES.
i couldn't even cry about her death for years, luckily i'm over that, even righting this now i've got tears in my eyes thinking about her.
thank you for the thread, I'm sorry about your loss. and i hope this thread provides some measure of healing and comfort to you and your wife.
 
Bump again! Come on- I'm sure that there are more stories out there.

As incentive I'm adding something from my collection- but it is a surprise!
 
Some really touching stories from everyone here,

My experinces with cancer have been farily numerous. I lost my setp mom when I was in grade 7, she was a wonderful women who helped my dad turn his life around for the better. She made friends with my mother, and tought my dad how to be both a better father and husband than he was before.

My aunt had brest cancer for a few years when I was young but thank God, was able to beat it and has been clear for years.

My grandmother, who I was always very close too passed away this past year. I'v lost alot of loved ones but she was the hardest by far. I wont get into the detials because everyone here knows that sting. She got cancer 5 years ago and the docs didn't give her much time, but the stubborn old bird kept at it and proved them wrong for a long time, and was her same old self right up untill the end. Even tho her death was extreamly hard on me, I had to tell my self that the last 5 years have been a gift from God Himself.

To end on a good note.
A very close friend of mine has been A-OK after his own battle with cancer. No one my age desereves that kinda crap...

Smoke and prayers for everyone here, and everyone who knows what it feel's like to lose someone close.
Thanks for the thread Kris, feels good to share this stuff.
 
I don't really have any experience with disease other than my own. I have 2 blood diseases one is rare and in remission and the other is really rare (~200 people in the country I think) and I get medicine infusions every 2 weeks for it.

I was diagnosed when I was 25 and told most live less than a year. I turned 30 this year and dealing with it fairly good. I'm sure it will cut my time here short but it has opened my eyes so that I try to enjoy my time and concentrate on the important things and ignore all the little petty things so many people seem to focus on.

Having something wrong with you, especially when you are young, is not fun and you have to question why it had to happen to yourself. There are many things that go through your mind and at times it can be pretty difficult. But I can say that I am lucky to have a great family, a couple awesome friends, and a pretty great girlfriend that love me and support me and will help me if I need it. They really have made all of this bearable. So if you have someone close to you that is going through something, know that you being there and talking with them and sharing a laugh can make all the difference in the world.

I'm not looking for pity, just thought I would share a little of my story. It's late and I am tired so I will just leave it at this for now. I have always been very open about my illness and try not to let it bother me and always answer any questions people might have.

If you have something yourself, or know someone that does, a positive attitude has a huge impact on treatment. So always keep your head up and try to talk about positive things and smile when you get the chance as it does make a difference.
 
Thanks all. I think a classmate said it best yesterday when we were asked what disease/condition we would most hate to have. While I said loss of use of my hands, she said depression, as "most people can do anything or go through anything if they have a happy disposition". I think she is right, pretty good for somebody 14 years younger than myself. Pity parties don't work, ad this thread is far from one. I appreciate everybody contributing to this thread.
 
First of all, I'd like to offer my condolences and strength to everyone who knows and loves her well. Disease is such a nasty nasty thing man.
As for me, I too have been unfortunate in dealing with disease and terminal illness both first and second hand. In fact I'm going through it right now with my Mother in Law.

However the experience I want to share with you is that of my Grandmother whom was a very influential person in my life; always inspiring and guiding me to live "true", to know my masculine heart and let it help guide me in my journey in becoming a man. She was an old stubborn Japanese woman, very strong willed but her heart was very tender and vulnerable. Haha, me and my Grandpa always joked she was Mr.Miyagi's sister as they were identical in persona except she had a little more fire in her lol. Anyhow, to keep this short, she smoked, I believe 30 some years then decided to quit when she hit her late sixties. She had a healthy lifestyle from then on both external and internal. However despite the new life style, 10 years after quitting she was stricken with emphysema, congestive heart failure and ultimately small cell cancer. On her final hospital stint, we had all been at the hospital with her for the last 3 days as she was on 02, meds and monitors. They kept her sedated most of the time because she was struggling to breath which was causing her to panic. However on her last day, we all thought she was doing great -I guess this is called the "calm before the storm" as apparently alot of folks have a time of "normality" or do significantly better right before they pass. It was in this time she was somewhat back to her old self; little bit feisty, loving, matter of factly. She grab Grandpas hand in a moment of seriousness and panic and told him "I want to live, I want to live". He said "I know honey, your gonna be alright darlin'".

She died that night after a 6 hour coma.

I've had some powerful experiences in my life, but nothing has pierced my heart or echoes through my soul as much as her saying "I want to live" the way she did with such conviction, then dying hours later. Rocks me every time I think about it.
 
My mother's best friend died of brain cancer when I was away in college so I'm guessing the late 90's. While Lila was probably 20 years older than Mom they were best friend's and often decorated wedding cakes together. When Lila's arthritis got to where she couldn't do the fine details anymore she would still watch my mom do stuff and give her pointers on how to do something, or do it easier and better. When Lila had to go to the nursing home my mom would visit as often as she could. She would read to Lila from the Bible, turn on her favorite radio programs, and brush her hair for her. After her passing, I don't think Mom did any more wedding cakes. She still does birthday cakes for the grandkids though.

My gradmother died of congestive heart failure. That was hard as my grandfather had alzheimers and would forget what had happened, where grandma was and after she died, that she had. That was very hard on my father as grandad spent a lot of time with him during the summer. For a few months after the funeral he would out of the blue want to go see grandma at the hospital. It was awful hard for my dad to tell his dad that she was gone.

The family took care of granddad for several more years until he fell one time at his daughter's house and broke his neck. The family had a DNR on file already and when they gathered at the hospital the doctor took them aside and started saying how they were going to do surgery and this and that and the other and then just told him no, he wasn't. Granddad was very restless in the hospital and when the family put their foot down they took off the halo, granddad relaxed, smiled, and went to sleep. (excuse me... I thought I was over this...) His was the first family funeral I missed. But I know that's how Granddad would have wanted it. Has it really been almost 10 years now?

My condolonces to you and your wife Kris.
 
11 years ago, I was down to the VA medical center for a stent. While they were taking the pictures for the test, they found a spot on my right lung and advised me to have it checked out. The next several weeks while waiting more tests and scheduling surgery was a time that I will never forget, I got a chance to see how the end of my life would effect those around me, a chance to thank my wife and kids for having so enriched my life. Also to remember those who had gone before me in my family. It turned out to be cancer.

The surgery was done but I had a heart attack in the recovery room and was in a comma for six week. It sure seems that my recovery went well and in the last ten years there have been no sign of any more cancer. It has left a special meaning for the song "Live like you were dieing".
 
i lost an aunt to breast cancer
a grandpa to alzheimers
a grandpa to lung cancer
a grandma to old age
i miss them, i try and think that they are in a better place. did i heal? maybe a little bit. it was hard because the last three were lost in 4 months. i suppose that time heals wounds. staying distracted helps, if that makes sense. also just to remember the good times. thanks for the giveaway, sorry to hear about your mother in law.
 
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