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Ultra-Super-Extra-Fine-Final-Polishing 1,000,000 Grit Sharpening Stone
After you've used a 1,000,000 grit sharpening stone, all other stones feel like coarse gravel.
In the pursuit of the best edge, the value of finer grits cannot be overvalued. In the past, natural stones such as a Hard Black or Hard Translucent Arkansas were the finest stones available. More recently, waterstones have become the finest grit stones available with grits as high as 10,000, 16,000 and even 30,000. However, today's special steels deserve better.
New 1,000,000 Grit Sharpening Stone
Yes, a million grit sharpening stone is soon to be available. With all superlatives having been used to describe sharpening stones, we were left to combine the words to make what will stand forever as the final word in sharpening. The Ultra-Super-Extra-Fine-Final-Polishing 1,000,000 Grit Sharpening Stone is the final word in sharpening stones.
Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive
With the practical limits of traditional abrasives such as aluminum oxide or silicon carbide already reached, our lab had to create an abrasive that would form small enough particles to qualify as one million grit. To make the new Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive, we had resort to extraordinary measures to ensure the purity of the abrasives. The most homogeneous material we found to produce the Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive turned out to be marshmallows. But to become Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive, it had to be processed in two steps.
Firing
The first step in creating Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive is to heat the marshmallows beyond their normal temperatures. Once the critical temperature is reached, the impurities in the marshmallow are removed and what is left is Pure Micro Fractured Carbon.
Pulverizing Abrasives
The next step is to pulverize the Pure Micro Fractured Carbon into one million grit particle sizes. To break it down into the fine particles, extreme pressure must be used.
Natural Avocado Binder
It is a little-known fact that the strongest natural bonding agent is dried avocado. When testing different binders in our lab, nothing was proving strong enough to bond together the Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive. The epiphany came when, Bill from accounts payable, left a spoon he had used for avocado in the break room overnight. The resulting avocado stuck to the spoon was deemed to be strong enough to bond abrasives together without degrading.
By mixing the avocado with the pure micro fractured carbon abrasive, the resulting slurry can be formed into stone. When it sits overnight, the permanent bond is created.
Slow and Methodical
When using the Ultra-Super-Extra-Fine-Final-Polishing 1,000,000 Grit Sharpening Stone, you need to start with a finely polished edge. Due to the extremely small particle size, the polishing process is very slow. We recommend starting with 100 strokes on one side and then 100 on the opposite side. Repeat on each side until your reflection on the polished edge appears handsome.
Available Tomorrow!
This April 1st joke was posted April 1, 2014.
After you've used a 1,000,000 grit sharpening stone, all other stones feel like coarse gravel.
In the pursuit of the best edge, the value of finer grits cannot be overvalued. In the past, natural stones such as a Hard Black or Hard Translucent Arkansas were the finest stones available. More recently, waterstones have become the finest grit stones available with grits as high as 10,000, 16,000 and even 30,000. However, today's special steels deserve better.
New 1,000,000 Grit Sharpening Stone
Yes, a million grit sharpening stone is soon to be available. With all superlatives having been used to describe sharpening stones, we were left to combine the words to make what will stand forever as the final word in sharpening. The Ultra-Super-Extra-Fine-Final-Polishing 1,000,000 Grit Sharpening Stone is the final word in sharpening stones.
Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive
With the practical limits of traditional abrasives such as aluminum oxide or silicon carbide already reached, our lab had to create an abrasive that would form small enough particles to qualify as one million grit. To make the new Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive, we had resort to extraordinary measures to ensure the purity of the abrasives. The most homogeneous material we found to produce the Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive turned out to be marshmallows. But to become Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive, it had to be processed in two steps.
Firing
The first step in creating Pure Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive is to heat the marshmallows beyond their normal temperatures. Once the critical temperature is reached, the impurities in the marshmallow are removed and what is left is Pure Micro Fractured Carbon.
Pulverizing Abrasives
The next step is to pulverize the Pure Micro Fractured Carbon into one million grit particle sizes. To break it down into the fine particles, extreme pressure must be used.
Natural Avocado Binder
It is a little-known fact that the strongest natural bonding agent is dried avocado. When testing different binders in our lab, nothing was proving strong enough to bond together the Micro Fractured Carbon Abrasive. The epiphany came when, Bill from accounts payable, left a spoon he had used for avocado in the break room overnight. The resulting avocado stuck to the spoon was deemed to be strong enough to bond abrasives together without degrading.
By mixing the avocado with the pure micro fractured carbon abrasive, the resulting slurry can be formed into stone. When it sits overnight, the permanent bond is created.
Slow and Methodical
When using the Ultra-Super-Extra-Fine-Final-Polishing 1,000,000 Grit Sharpening Stone, you need to start with a finely polished edge. Due to the extremely small particle size, the polishing process is very slow. We recommend starting with 100 strokes on one side and then 100 on the opposite side. Repeat on each side until your reflection on the polished edge appears handsome.
Available Tomorrow!
This April 1st joke was posted April 1, 2014.
