I think you'll get better answers reposting this in the Outdoor Skills sub-forum. Perhaps the mods will move it there for you.
I took 3, no 4 trips this year that make me proud as a husband and father. First, I co-led 4 day trip for my son's teen group. Second, I went with my college aged daughter to a high hut where she's seeking to work as a caretaker. Third, when my kids were both away, my wife of nearly 30 years asked me to go an overnight backpacking trip to a riverside camp site with our dog. And fourth, when my daughter returned from college over Christmas break, we took our annual XC day trip where we've been taking the kids since they were 18 months old.
Untitled by
Pinnah, on Flickr
I am unabashedly proud that my kids and wife continue to ask me to go on backpacking and camping trips. While I'm lucky to have a great wife and kids, there are some choices I made that I think really helped.
SEPARATE ACCOMPLISHMENT AND LEADING - I worked as ski instructor when I was young and was taught that the most important aspect of ski teaching is to select terrain that matches the skill of the student. A good instructor never selects terrain because they, personally, would like to ski on it. Skiing for personal accomplishment is done when you're free-skiing off the clock.
After a few missteps, I came to understand that when I'm on a trip with wife and kids, it's my responsibility to choose trips based on their abilities, not mine. Their enjoyment, not mine, must be my highest priority. My wife was excellent to always pack teddy bears and new flashlights for the kids. Over the years, the kids abilities grew and they wanted more. When she was a freshman in high school, our daughter surprised us at dinner one night, hitting the table with her hand and demanding that "we do a legit hike this summer". She chose to climb Mt. Washington and we did. Her choice, not mine.
The flip side of this separation is that I got my satisfaction as a hiker on trips with the guys or alone. I have the luxury of a great wife, who encouraged me to go scratch that itch as often as reasonable (I generally came back a better person/husband). I think a common trap in our busy lives is that we don't get out enough, so when a family trip gets on the calendar, its easy for the father to subconsciously try to make the trip serve his own zeal for accomplishment. That's how a family outing turns into a death march.
GET GOOD. GET REALLY, REALLY GOOD - I worked hard to master as many aspects of outdoor skills as possible. I don't regret a second of it, as every skill has meant that I could keep family trips moving forward without effort. When out with the family, I want the trip to be so far inside of my personal comfort zone, that I can concentrate on keeping things fun and safe. Here are few skills that have really paid big dividends.
A) General knowledge - I strongly recommend Chris Townsend's excellent book, "The Backpacker's Handbook". I read and reread books of this kind and kept them bedside table till they became dog eared.
B) Stove craft - I think stove craft is much more important than fire craft. I recommend making tea/coffee every day for a month or more. Sounds excessive, but the ability to have a stove running when you are cold and tired is invaluable.
C) First Aid - I went into parenting with experience as a lifeguard. I finally got around to taking my Wilderness First Aid course. Wish I had taken it years earlier.
PACKING LISTS - I found that work and kids meant a busy life and the logistics of getting away became almost insurmountable. I kept packing lists and reviewed them and updated constantly. Still do. They helped minimize the problem of getting into a trip and realizing something was missing (like a tent - yes, we did that once). They also helped me find the happy balance of carrying what we needed while avoiding carrying too much. They also gave me something to work on and think through when not hiking.
SHARP TOOLS - I carry a small multitool (PS4) and a light folding knife (Opinel) on most outings.
