Waay OT: Why do I have any friends?

DannyinJapan

DannyinJapan

Joined
Oct 9, 2003
Messages
5,594
I was just sitting here making shuriken and suddenly it occurred to me that I have no idea why my wife loves me, why I have any friends at all.
I'm not as smart as I like to think I am, I'm not as nice as I like to think I am, I'm certainly not as good looking as I like to think I am.
I'm lazy, selfish, self-interested, I have a terrible inferiority complex and a need to dominate people and always be right.

What a mystery is this life....
 
Besides that what's to dislike? :D

Sounds like you're running about average. Maybe even a little ahead of some folks your age.

Don't compare your insides with other peoples outsides.

The Nepali greeting "Namaste/Namascar" translates roughly to " I salute the God (s) within you ".

That you are asking the question indicates you are ready to learn at least some of the answers. Treat your friends gently because you WILL need them, and include the friend inside of you. Think of self-examination as housecleaning. Do some ( but don't wallow in it ) each day, more or less. If others seem to like you, then they probably do.

PS: most of us older folks learn to catch ourself in time because the alternative became increasingly painful. You learn to navigate your physical home at night with the lights off without barking your shins on the coffee table ( ouch! ) naturally. To learn to navigate the less lighted side of your psychological and spiritual home do the same. Why, some of us guys even learn to stop and ask for help with directions, believe it or not.

Namaste.
 
DannyinJapan said:
I'm not as smart as I like to think I am, I'm not as nice as I like to think I am, I'm certainly not as good looking as I like to think I am.
I'm lazy, selfish, self-interested, I have a terrible inferiority complex and a need to dominate people and always be right.

What a mystery is this life....
Click to expand...

Then each day do one small kindness for someone else.
Forgive yourself for not being perfect.
Enjoy life. It's very short.
Give something of yourself to your wife.
Come here.

We like you, warts and all.

Steve
 
because shuriken rock thats why :D

the "why would anyone ever love me?" question is an easy pitfall to trap yourself into, and i've come to the conclusion that "its because you have love to give" more then anything else. damn near any obstacle can be over come or endured for that one thing, love.

of course, theres always the "why do you like me?" "F#ck if i know. i just do. now shut up." side of things... even though you have a lot of reasons why a person would not want to be around you, all that realy matters is that they do. enjoy it, and try not to abuse it to the best of your ability...

as to the forums, a freindly tone is always a welcome one, and an interested freindly tone that can bring something personal to the table is what makes it worth reading :D. your one of the crew here danny, theres something good missing when your not apart of it, regardless of what that peice actually is.
 
DannyinJapan said:
I was just sitting here making shuriken and suddenly it occurred to me that I have no idea why my wife loves me, why I have any friends at all.
I'm not as smart as I like to think I am, I'm not as nice as I like to think I am, I'm certainly not as good looking as I like to think I am.
I'm lazy, selfish, self-interested, I have a terrible inferiority complex and a need to dominate people and always be right.

What a mystery is this life....
Click to expand...

Danny

I've often wondered the same thing about you.










(just kidding, no karate chops please! :D )
 
I reckon it's healthy to ponder such things occasionally. There are some folks out there who think they're perfect, highly skilled and absolutely wonderful. These are the people I find unbearable. I enjoy hanging around flawed people. They're more "human".

Everyone should look in the mirror once in awhile, if only to remove the spinach caught between one's teeth. :D

Dunno. I live in a cave, so don't quote me on none of this.
 
Rusty,

A thoughtful and insightful post. I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks and namaste.

Steve
 
Hey Danny,

From the sounds of it, you got a "keeper" of a wife. The fact that you got a great weapons collection means that she is a tolerant female. Take some advise,( from a couple of failed marriages and lots of "counciling") use some of that guilt constructively and do something nice for her. A bunch of flowers (or a nice dinner out, trip to the country, a card...etc) for no reason goes a long way in the books of those strange & wonderfull creatures we to like to live with....... at least in my experience.....Take every opportunity to do something nice for her (like spend some time with her doing what she wants to do), sounds like your charater is a bit " unconventional" ( like me). Do believe me that most women are not that tolerant......Your Lucky
.....don't forget it or take it for granted..... it can save you great pain in the future....I have been happly marrried now for 10 years....never though that would happen, so I know it works..... so I'm still working on my second Khuk, my wife happens to be a peace nic and banned all weapons from site years ago. She tried the household, but finally gave up on that one.
She is beginning to loosen up these days, I bought her a Khuk (a balance, no dear, not a weapon, a tool), and she hasn't freaked ( it has been touchy at times though). I'm waiting on the time to get a chitlangi, too soon right now( she will go ballistic) and I will get the bad Karma speach plus......
 
DannyinJapan said:
I was just sitting here making shuriken and suddenly it occurred to me that I have no idea why my wife loves me, why I have any friends at all.
I'm not as smart as I like to think I am, I'm not as nice as I like to think I am, I'm certainly not as good looking as I like to think I am.
I'm lazy, selfish, self-interested, I have a terrible inferiority complex and a need to dominate people and always be right.

What a mystery is this life....
Click to expand...


Paraphasing Poet David Whyte: Most of us "love/like" others not to satisfy their needs but with the expectation that they will satisfy our needs.

And then there's the Dr Fell Syndrome:

http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/877.html

I do not love thee, Dr Fell,
The reason why I cannot tell;
But this I know, and know full well,
I do not love thee, Dr Fell.
-- Tom Brown

Turning around one might say:

I really like you- Oh so swell
The reason why I cannot tell
But this I know and know full well
I like Danny off the scale

Please pardon the sad attempt at rimeing :) :D
 
Yep Danny, it sounds like you're really f****d up.

Don't worry, so are most of the rest of us.

Meet you at the white light at the end.

;)
 
Someone I was once close to, had periodic crisis moments. Sometimes, during these moments, she would ask why I loved her. I was young, and though wise in some ways, knew little in some others. At that point in my life, I thought love was not a rational emotion; it existed, but there was no real explanation.

Danny, I'll tell you why you're loved, just as I wish I had told her during those moments of self-doubt: I love you because you're a wonderful, unique person, and worth loving.

I also assure you that you will run out of ways to ask the question before I run out of ways to answer it.

Ultimately, though, love must start within you, and include yourself fully and unconditionally, before you can bring that true love to others. The kingdom of God is within you. The spirit of God- and God is love- is in you. We are not given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. Reviewing these thoughts with an open and unafraid spirit may help.

I find training always helps, too. :)

Best,

John Shirley
 
BruiseLeee said:
I reckon it's healthy to ponder such things occasionally. There are some folks out there who think they're perfect, highly skilled and absolutely wonderful. These are the people I find unbearable. I enjoy hanging around flawed people.
Click to expand...
Uh....Bruise.....

Ya hang out here quite a bit. Does that mean what I think it means? :( :D
 
Very few of us are as smart as we think, and it is safer to be smarter than you think.

We're your friends because no one is unlike your description.

As for the profile of people who hang out in internet forums- well, I live in a wilderness, far from a Walmart. I have an excuse. You people who live in cities, surrounded by people, yet must find solace here are really pathetic. Truly, you make me sick. You ought to be hunted down, rooted out and killed.

What's that you say? It's freaks like me in out-places that should be hunted first? I represent a challenge to the social order? My guns will be confiscated?

Now I remember why I'm this far from Walmart; come and get me, Coppers!


munk
 
It is healthy to question everything, starting with ourselves and our actions, our thoughts and our speech. If we do this dutifully, we will never lose ourselves, and our intent will be unified and unflawed by the outside.

I think Hatsumi wrote a bit about the fortutide of the soul, and its importance especially to the Bujinkan practitioner.

I'll take your post as rhetorical questions, some questions there being similar to those we all ask ourselves (although, perhaps not while we're making shuriken, but hey.):D

Keith
 
I tried to add myself to my own buddy list on this forum. Then I could hang out with myself. It didn't work. :(

I guess I could try to make friends by recounting how I won my AOL instant messenger medal. :rolleyes: ;) :cool: :p
 
Danny, you're A-OK in my book, but then again, I'm a hideous mutant freak, so that probably doesn't count for much :D
--Josh
 
To top it off, we have Uncle Bill whining that he hasn't been much company for Pala who leaves tomorrow. Well, duh!

Get the point, Danny in Japan?

PS: Stop whining, Uncle! That's an order. :p :p :p
 
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