Way OT:Message from the President

Status
Not open for further replies.
C

clearblue

Joined
Oct 22, 2002
Messages
630
Subject:Reforming Islamic Fundamentalists vs Rehabilitating Hannibal Lector

THE LARK PROGRAM
A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the
treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan/Iraq wars.

Attached is a copy of a letter they received back:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Our administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed or Hannibel) is to
be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections, in conjunction with the Red Cross, to ensure that your
care for Ahmed is commensurate with international standards and those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is sociopathic, extremely violent, and was trying to
kill at least 20 women and children as we captured him, we hope that
your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem"
will help him overcome these character flaws. I might add that he will
bite you, or worse, given the chance. However, perhaps you are
correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.
We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand
combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate
these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except
sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property.
This is a particularly sensitive subject for him, and he has been known to
show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the
new dress code that Ahmed will recommend as more appropriate
attire. I'm sure they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka -- over time.
Just remind them that it is all part of "respecting his culture and
his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks
like you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job.
You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.

Good Luck!

Cordially,
Pres. Geo. W. Bush :rolleyes:
 
In a democracy, we do not stick lighted cigarette buts in the ears of our prisoners.
The Iraqi people are supposedly our allies....aren't they?
In civilized countries, we do what we need to do to survive. But we do not normally let the world know about it.
The CIA has a "ticking time bomb" provision. If a prisoner is really in the know about a bomb (for example) about to go off, then all gloves are off. This is an old policy. You don't let enemy soldiers get off with kid glove treatment if they are a real threat.
This issue - for me - is not - whether or not we should be nice to people who are a real threat to us. Of course, we have to do what we have to do.
We should not routinely take people and torture them, if they are not a threat. This hurts our cause over there.
Saying that the "liberals" want to treat our prisoners like they are at a resort does great harm to our troops. We want our guys treated according to the Geneva conventions if they are captured.
Name calling (liberals) doesn't help our cause. If we are divided, and people play the name calling game, we are weaker as we face our enemies.
 
I've been wanting to say this, and here:

The problem is not politics. The problem is bad behavior. And specifically, it's usually over-reaction.

You might as well pass a law banning bad behavior as banning politics or any other thing. The problem with banning "politics' is that "politics' is a part of our every day lives. It's there, and many of our threads and personal stories lead us there. You can't buy gasoline with its taxes or OPEC decree putting an influence on your life which is Political.

It may be when the subject is strictly "Politics" it is a platform from which many people will choose to misbehave. But I don't know if banning "politics" can stop bad behavior!

Now, this thread is kinda silly. Many of you think of me as conservative, but I'm certainly not enamored of this thread. Silly. My REACTION dictates what to think of it, and how others think of it.

There is no reason to apply 'hate' or strong emotions to something which is a puff ball. A puff ball.

So move it, ban it, there oughta be a law, it makes no difference.

It's us down here, and I've decided once and for all to treat US better. I deserve, and most importantly, YOU ALL deserve respect and care. That's my decision, and it is not going to matter what the topic of the thread is.





munk
 
Hollowdweller and Cabot:

It is not my thread. I would not have written this thread. I think the word; spurious may apply to this thread. Our reactions are our own. Hollow, I'm glad you're not responding in kind to this thread because it is a spurious silly thread.

It would not surprise me at all if this thread were moved. What I've done, is to take the opportunity to explain that it is people, not things, who make the decision about what to do.

Both of you have decided not to respond in kind to this thread and that is very good!!!



munk
 
I can't decide whether to vote to remove or simply ignore what is unimportant. But here we are talking about it - we should move ourselves, anyway.


munk
 
Sorry Munk, when I first read the thread I had a brain fart and thought you were the original poster.

Ignore my trolling comment.
 
Thanks Cabbot. If, IF, I could have written such a thing, I'd be furious with myself. After the spots with me and Hollow, it would be like deliberately pissing him off. It would be like rubbing his nose. NO WAY.

I want to be able to talk to you guys. I don't want a wall. I am going to do the best I can to not overreact. -overreaction could have made us mad at each other here- like when you thought I'd written it.

This thread was only mildly funny, and moderately dumb, and in the wrong place, at the wrong time. And besides all that, I mostly agree with Arty; the US needs to figure out what to do with gray area prisoners and keep it that way. We cannot torture, and cannot leave in limbo anyone.
we may have to make a new law to deal with just such a thing as what is a Terrorist.

But you know what? I'm tired and don'r have the energy for a legal system analysis right now.

I want this forum to win, and keep on winning.


munk
 
No more politics from me. I plan to do my best to avoid the bait.
Discussion is fine, but I have no energy for this stuff.
The forum should be fun....
We all need that - more fun, and less depressing stuff.
 
I once stopped myself from any discussion of the Second Amendment because I became upset.



munk
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top