We NEED a SAK "World Cutting Championship"

L

Lavan

Joined
Nov 8, 2000
Messages
2,301
Like the BIG knife guys get. Reviewed in "Blade" this month. But they're cuttin 2x4's an bottles an cans an stuff that a SAK is not BUILT for.

I propose a CHAMPIONSHIP for the SWISS ARMY KNIFE.

Now I need some suggestions on events.

A couple of mine are:

The "wire stripping 'oops' cut" where the contestant uses a SAK to strip some wire using the BLADE instead of the wire stripper and goes deeply into his thumb. Points awarded based on depth of cut.

The "ruin the coffee table drop the awl" event. Self explanatory except points will be doubled if it is the mother-in-law's coffee table.

The "snag the hell out of Levi's with the saw" event. Points awarded on number of weave loops sticking out of pants leg with bonus for blood.

I'm sure someone else has some that could be added.

Go.
:D :eek:

Oh oh oh.....forgot... Gotta include the tweezers an the toothpick.

Chew a cup of caramel corn with parsley and shortest time to pick teeth to a dental assistant judge's satisfaction.

OK....go now.
 
....couple a' the "contests" sound more like tryouts for the 2005 Darwin Awards!

Larry S.
 
How about the "Forget it's a slipjoint and torque the blade closed on your index finger" event?

And the ever popular "'What the hell is the hook used for' ingenuity" event.

There should also be a seperate competition for lending it to people.

The "I cut myself with the knife blade while cutting paper, even though the scissors would have been a better choice" event.

The "I broke the tip off the knife blade using it as a screwdriver, even though there's 47 different screwdrivers on the tool" event.

The "Oops, I lost your tweezers" event.

And the "'Why do you carry a knife?' question, even though I asked to borrow it" stupid look on the face event.

And the "Where's the cell phone?" God I'm so f*cking clever event. :rolleyes:
 
How about the "Try to mug someone with the small blade on the Tinker" event, with extra points if you manage to get through it with a straight face?
 
Good, good......Maybe a tweezer "pull off?"

Whole new market for huge non-slip pinching gloves.

Free hanging wrapping ribbon cut?

:D
 
Great, Garageboy, GREAT!

Open ALL the blades and swing it by a lanyard.

Gawwd, that'd be a sight.

:eek:
 
How about the "Watch me ruin a bottle of wine with this corkscrew" event or "Watch me burn a hole in my hand with my tiny magnifying glass" event. I love SAKs, but they're still easy to make jokes about. And yes, I did burn myself with that little magnifying glass once. I let a friend use it to open a bottle of wine, and he did get it open, but only after so much force that he spilled half a bottle of red wine on his shirt.
 
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