Weeeeee bit...

Joined
Dec 22, 2004
Messages
938
"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the
responsibility to marry the perfect woman so
they could produce beautiful children beyond compare

With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.

Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning,
gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away.
So he explained his mission to the farmer,
asking for permission to marry one of them.

The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married,
so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."

The man dated the first daughter.
The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit,
not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed."

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one
of the other girls;so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

"Well,"the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit,
not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."

The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl
to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,

"She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."

So they were wed right away.Months later the baby was born.
When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was
the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He
rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing
could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the farmer,
"She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...
pregnant when you met her."
 
You think that one was bad.




A man is walking home alone late one night when he hears a.......



BUMP...



BUMP...





BUMP ... behind him.



Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin

banging its way down the middle of the street towards him.





BUMP...





BUMP...





BUMP...





Terrified, the man begins running towards his home, the coffin

bouncing quickly behind him ...







faster...





faster...









BUMP...









BUMP....





BUMP.....



He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the

door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.



However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the

coffin clapping ...





Clappity-BUMP...





Clappity-BUMP...





Clappity-BUMP...



Clappity-BUMP...



on the heels of the terrified man....





Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart

is pounding, his head is reeling, his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.



With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door, bumping and

clapping towards him.





The man screams and reaches for something, anything ... but all he can

find is a bottle of cough syrup!



Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the coffin...







... the coffin stops.
 
Texas limo.

limo6pd.jpg
 
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