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- Oct 29, 2005
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thx again for all the kind words and thoughts.
update: my grandmother is doing much better. the pneumonia is gone, but both kidneys are b/o. she will need dialysis, probably for the rest of her life, but seems a small price to pay.
my father and i were told she was doing much worse than i think she was actually doing. the doctor told my aunt that her quality of life would be very poor, she was suffering from dimentia, and we should pull the plug on dialysis.
apparantly, in hawaii, they consider dialysis to be life support. no where else, as far as i know. my grandmother had indicated that if she needed life support, she was unwilling to live. however, we interpreted this to mean respirators and such, and that she would be comatose or in a similarly poor condition.
she is not. she is lucid and recognizes everyone, and remembers many things. and seems to have no problem with her short term memory, at least no more than any other 85 year old woman.
when confronted, the doctor backed down. imo, he wanted us to pull the plug for two reasons:
1. to clear the bed.
2. to avoid the cost that will be incurred by the hospital for rehabilitation and therapy. it will run about 9000.00 per month.
he also has no emotional investment, which is understandable. he is doing his job, more or less, and a hospital is a business. but i think he may have forgotten what it means to be a doctor, and a bit more compassion would have been order.
in the end, she may live another several weeks, or years. at this point, it is hard to say. but to say her quality of life would be such that it is better for her not to be alive, was just preposterous.
sorry for the rant, and i in no way mean to condemn doctors or the medical profession. ive never met a doctor that referred to a patient as this one did.
so, what did i miss around here?????
update: my grandmother is doing much better. the pneumonia is gone, but both kidneys are b/o. she will need dialysis, probably for the rest of her life, but seems a small price to pay.
my father and i were told she was doing much worse than i think she was actually doing. the doctor told my aunt that her quality of life would be very poor, she was suffering from dimentia, and we should pull the plug on dialysis.
apparantly, in hawaii, they consider dialysis to be life support. no where else, as far as i know. my grandmother had indicated that if she needed life support, she was unwilling to live. however, we interpreted this to mean respirators and such, and that she would be comatose or in a similarly poor condition.
she is not. she is lucid and recognizes everyone, and remembers many things. and seems to have no problem with her short term memory, at least no more than any other 85 year old woman.
when confronted, the doctor backed down. imo, he wanted us to pull the plug for two reasons:
1. to clear the bed.
2. to avoid the cost that will be incurred by the hospital for rehabilitation and therapy. it will run about 9000.00 per month.
he also has no emotional investment, which is understandable. he is doing his job, more or less, and a hospital is a business. but i think he may have forgotten what it means to be a doctor, and a bit more compassion would have been order.
in the end, she may live another several weeks, or years. at this point, it is hard to say. but to say her quality of life would be such that it is better for her not to be alive, was just preposterous.
sorry for the rant, and i in no way mean to condemn doctors or the medical profession. ive never met a doctor that referred to a patient as this one did.
so, what did i miss around here?????
You must feel so relieved. It's a shame you had to go through all that worry and stress because the situation was not properly communicated intially to you and your family. I experienced a miscommunication with a doctor when my grandfather died except it was the opposite. I thought I was going in to see him in his last moments but he was already brain dead when I went in. I cannot express how traumatizing that was. However, be glad that at least your miscommunication was such that the truth ended up being more positive. I wish your grandmother all the best and that she will be able to live with her condition for many years to come. 
