We're Not To Old!!!

idahoskunk

idahoskunk

Joined
Mar 10, 2002
Messages
19,806
I am 58 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists.
You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing
ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to
take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're
at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than
28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a
dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We
are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a-hole that desperately
deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always
get up early to pee so what the heck. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and
can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some
fanatical son-of-a-bee.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and
yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation
for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the
house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor
did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
of his head...

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more
about life before sending them off into harm's way..

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last
thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts
with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are
already behind them..

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...in menopause!!! You think Men have
attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border
patrol.... They will have it secured the first night!



.
 
good one.

I am not even 40 yet, and feel too old to ever consider the army.

Bad knees, bad back. Fat. I did do some pushups this morning and stretching.

I used to do 200 pushups every morning. 75, 75, 50. Then 200 curls per arm. Plus a lot of cardio and free weights.

Now, I am lucky to make it up the stairs without creaking and popping and puffing.

I do know my guns, and am more cranky for sure!
 
Skunk, I agree with much of what you say here.. I myself would have made a far better solider in my late twenties-to current age Now(38)
Than when I was 18 years old. Godbless them and keep them and all our other soliders safe!

J




QUOTE=idahoskunk;8505642]I am 58 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists.
You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing
ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to
take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're
at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than
28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a
dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We
are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a-hole that desperately
deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Old guys always
get up early to pee so what the heck. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and
can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some
fanatical son-of-a-bee.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and
yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation
for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the
house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor
did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
of his head...

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more
about life before sending them off into harm's way..

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last
thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts
with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are
already behind them..

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...in menopause!!! You think Men have
attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border
patrol.... They will have it secured the first night!



.[/QUOTE]
 
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I think the menopause thing is a great point... Some of those ladies can be anything but!!

My dad always said "Youth and Skill are no match for Age and Treachery." I think it's very true!
 
I am CERTAIN that you have a point by sending in the MSF - Menopuasal Special Forces - having been married and divorced more than the average guy, I was asked whether I now know what type of woman would be best for me - my answer was post menopause!

BTW, I served for 21 years active service and remained in the reserves till I was 55 - I get it!
 
idahoskunk said:
He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head...
.
Click to expand...

How bout us youngins how had to learn to shave at 15 and had shaving down to an art by the time we were 18?
 
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Skunk, i've been saying that for years. Us old guys have the trained eye for hunting and catch the slightest movement instilled from years of hunting wild game.
And like you said we've already lived most of our lives out. So yea i agree one hundred percent and yes i do know my guns also. :thumbup:
 
d762nato - how about the fact that we have honed the art of selective hearing as another useful skill?
 
Falcor said:
d762nato - how about the fact that we have honed the art of selective hearing as another useful skill?
Click to expand...

I was just reminded of this while having coffee this morning! At least I think that's what she said.:D
 
Haha :thumbup:
Nicely put and besides the humorous aspect really not so far off,eh?
Especially the point about how valuable it is to sent off 18 year olds.You are still a child at this age(18) really,right?
But all this got me thinking about why not consider to go even one step further...how about sending over the really old blokes here,100+ years or so...and so delivering literally the "breath of death" right into the enemy's face :D.
 
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as a personal rule, i try not to mess with anyone over 47. Not because I feel sorry for them either. Mess with an older dude and you could likely be messing with someone who is dedicated to his current "mission" and most likely worked for a living (manual labor) at one time. Furhermore, you might be pissing off a NAM vet who will shred you to pieces and then forget that he did it, LOL. Young fellas however, you almost dont need to worry about them. Not to mention, older fellas grew up with a rifle in thier hands. these new kids havent even shot one till basic-pathetic!! Thats 2 cents from a 30 yr old.;)
 
idahoskunk said:

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...in menopause!!!!



.
Click to expand...

This gal looks ready to serve.
skunk1989b.jpg

If beauty is only skin deep, she must have really thick skin.^
 
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Yup Skunk - I am right there with you.

I am old enough to be really irritated about someone shooting at me and cranky enough to do something about it, :D

I would be happy to enlist and go overseas to do some good for the world. Besides think of all the fun toys they would let you play with :D:thumbup::D
 
Great post Skunk :thumbup: .... tongue in cheek it may be .... but there is a lot more sense there too ....:cool:

I certainly did my best work from 36 to 40....and I am 46 now .... but 22years is all you get over here .... :confused::grumpy:
 
I'm ready to go!!!. . . Just get me an all terrain Segway with a .50 cal mounted to the handle and bring 'em on!!!! :thumbup:

Jerry :D



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