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What is best in life?
The Mongol Warlord rejoices in his tent. The hoards have successfully pillaged and they are smug with victory. The orange tinge of the lamp dances shadows on the wall of the warlords tent, strewn with the finest Persian carpets depicting his conquests. The smell of the victory permeates the air, intermingled with the aromas of dinner, the sweat and the blood of his commanders awaiting his words of wisdom. This has been a good day.
He glances at his falcon perched in the corner. Rivulets of blood still dripping from its talon. What poor village defender tasted her fury today? He ponders this. What is good in life? The question turns in his mind. A lazy thought, but one that catches the synapses and he ponders this. What is good in life? There are many things good in life, and perhaps the quest needs to be refined. What is best in life? Yes, this is a better question. It gets to the essence of it. What is best in life? This has resonance. It shakes the bones, throbs in the depths of your soul. What is best in life?
He stares out at his generals and commanders placed at their seats of honour. All eyes are on him awaiting his approval, his slightest gesture, even a glance in their direction is something they are eager to consume. They have lived their lives for this moment and are basking in the glow of that prize....Success! Should he ask the question? After all, they are his closest advisors. The ones he trusts the most. He looks into their expectant eyes and can see the adrenaline still coursing through their veins. Adrenaline, experience and success. Perhaps they know the key.
WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE? His question is a roar that sends the shadows flickering. The chatter is silenced. Not a breath is drawn in. All eye look upon him.
His first commander stands up. Straight and proud, the fleshy wound at his brow glistening with moisture and clotted with blood. With boldness he looks the warlord in the eye and proclaims The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
Mongol Warlord. Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
Conan the Barbarian, lifts his muscled bulk off his seat. Chin held high and chiselled jaw he proclaims To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
Mongul Warlord. Wrong! KGD! What is best in life?
KGD, pondering the delicious smells and stomach growling. He missed 2nd breakfast for the battle after all. In a crackling voice squeaks Barbeque pork chops in secret spicy sauce, cooking on lump charcoal.....oh and with several Rat Cutlery knives.
Mongul Warlord. That is good! That is good Yes, yes, that IS good. He mauls the thought over. Many Rat Cutlery knives AND savory pork. It just might be what is best in life!
Conan, agitated shifts in his seat. I know what is better.. It is barely a whisper, but the hostility of the statement floats on the currents and captures the ear of the Warlord.
Conan! the Warlord Barks. What is better than many RatCutlery knives and savoury pork in secrete sauce cooked over lump charcoal?
Conan is his best warrior. Perhaps there IS something better in life. He ponders this.
Conan glares at KGD. Even the veins in his temples look like they are muscled. Many rat cutlery Knives and to hear the lamentation of their women
Very disappointing. The Mongul shakes his head. Conan! his bark silences the tent yet again. WRONG! If you have many Rat Cutlery knives and savoury Pork cooked in a secret sauce, you will already have the lamentation of the women!. In a gentler voice his admonishes Conan. Just because your name ends with Barbarian doesnt mean you have to think that way.
KGD gleams. I know something else good. He says.
The warlord nods. Perhaps this pimple has more insight yet.
Butter, KGD Claims.
Hmmm, yes butter is good. Okay, butter is also good the Warlord states.
Scotch is good too, KGD blurts out. KGD is clearly getting a bit cocky now.
Scotch? What the hell? KGD is like one of those Ratpackers who dont follow instructions. I ask a simple question. What is best in life? Then I get all this chatter.
Conan! the Mongul Warlord yells. Dispatch with KGD
First Commander. I have a question Warlord?
Warlord. What is it now?
First Commander. Who gets KGDs Rat Cultery knives?
Warlord. Look, I started all this pillaging and war mongering for the joy of it. Why cant you guys just listen to instructions? Pillage, rejoice and shut the hell up!
First Commander sits down, eyes looking at down at his plate. Conan places KGDs head on a pike inside the doorway. Yes, I think they are starting to get it now. Hmm, I hope savory pork is on the menu tonight. Now I wonder if there is anything to this scotch suggestion?
The Mongol Warlord rejoices in his tent. The hoards have successfully pillaged and they are smug with victory. The orange tinge of the lamp dances shadows on the wall of the warlords tent, strewn with the finest Persian carpets depicting his conquests. The smell of the victory permeates the air, intermingled with the aromas of dinner, the sweat and the blood of his commanders awaiting his words of wisdom. This has been a good day.
He glances at his falcon perched in the corner. Rivulets of blood still dripping from its talon. What poor village defender tasted her fury today? He ponders this. What is good in life? The question turns in his mind. A lazy thought, but one that catches the synapses and he ponders this. What is good in life? There are many things good in life, and perhaps the quest needs to be refined. What is best in life? Yes, this is a better question. It gets to the essence of it. What is best in life? This has resonance. It shakes the bones, throbs in the depths of your soul. What is best in life?
He stares out at his generals and commanders placed at their seats of honour. All eyes are on him awaiting his approval, his slightest gesture, even a glance in their direction is something they are eager to consume. They have lived their lives for this moment and are basking in the glow of that prize....Success! Should he ask the question? After all, they are his closest advisors. The ones he trusts the most. He looks into their expectant eyes and can see the adrenaline still coursing through their veins. Adrenaline, experience and success. Perhaps they know the key.
WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE? His question is a roar that sends the shadows flickering. The chatter is silenced. Not a breath is drawn in. All eye look upon him.
His first commander stands up. Straight and proud, the fleshy wound at his brow glistening with moisture and clotted with blood. With boldness he looks the warlord in the eye and proclaims The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
Mongol Warlord. Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
Conan the Barbarian, lifts his muscled bulk off his seat. Chin held high and chiselled jaw he proclaims To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
Mongul Warlord. Wrong! KGD! What is best in life?
KGD, pondering the delicious smells and stomach growling. He missed 2nd breakfast for the battle after all. In a crackling voice squeaks Barbeque pork chops in secret spicy sauce, cooking on lump charcoal.....oh and with several Rat Cutlery knives.
Mongul Warlord. That is good! That is good Yes, yes, that IS good. He mauls the thought over. Many Rat Cutlery knives AND savory pork. It just might be what is best in life!
Conan, agitated shifts in his seat. I know what is better.. It is barely a whisper, but the hostility of the statement floats on the currents and captures the ear of the Warlord.
Conan! the Warlord Barks. What is better than many RatCutlery knives and savoury pork in secrete sauce cooked over lump charcoal?
Conan is his best warrior. Perhaps there IS something better in life. He ponders this.
Conan glares at KGD. Even the veins in his temples look like they are muscled. Many rat cutlery Knives and to hear the lamentation of their women
Very disappointing. The Mongul shakes his head. Conan! his bark silences the tent yet again. WRONG! If you have many Rat Cutlery knives and savoury Pork cooked in a secret sauce, you will already have the lamentation of the women!. In a gentler voice his admonishes Conan. Just because your name ends with Barbarian doesnt mean you have to think that way.
KGD gleams. I know something else good. He says.
The warlord nods. Perhaps this pimple has more insight yet.
Butter, KGD Claims.
Hmmm, yes butter is good. Okay, butter is also good the Warlord states.
Scotch is good too, KGD blurts out. KGD is clearly getting a bit cocky now.
Scotch? What the hell? KGD is like one of those Ratpackers who dont follow instructions. I ask a simple question. What is best in life? Then I get all this chatter.
Conan! the Mongul Warlord yells. Dispatch with KGD
First Commander. I have a question Warlord?
Warlord. What is it now?
First Commander. Who gets KGDs Rat Cultery knives?
Warlord. Look, I started all this pillaging and war mongering for the joy of it. Why cant you guys just listen to instructions? Pillage, rejoice and shut the hell up!
First Commander sits down, eyes looking at down at his plate. Conan places KGDs head on a pike inside the doorway. Yes, I think they are starting to get it now. Hmm, I hope savory pork is on the menu tonight. Now I wonder if there is anything to this scotch suggestion?
