I mix my ocher with alcohol, but water will do fine (It just takes longer to dry).
Paint on a thin layer of ocher. Don't get it on any of the joint or it will wick in and you will have to re-clean everything. Make sure it is fully dry before starting the solder job.Apply the flux so it does not run into the anti-flux. or it will mix and create problems. I sometimes pre-flux the joint,apply the anti-flux, and then solder.
The real culprit in soldering with low temp solders is HEAT. It has to be evenly applied to all parts and surfaces, and it can't be over applied. At about 50 degrees above the flow temp of most soft solders, oxides start to form that will prevent flow. A heat gun is a good choice for those who can't seem to use a torch gently. The gun evenly heats all parts and applies only enough heat to do the job. Remember to apply the heat from the opposite side of the joint as the solder is applied. NEVER apply the flame to the solder until after it is fully flowed into the joint.
Final note:
If the solder melts and you can't seem to get it to flow....STOP ,re-clean/sand all surfaces and start again. More heat won't solve the problem. A properly fitted and clean joint will only take a small amount of fluxing and the solder should flow smoothly through the joint.
Stacy