whats the most enbarrassing thing you've ever done with a knife?

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rev_jch

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Jul 29, 2002
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whats the most embarrassing thing you've ever done with a knife?

mine is a toss up, the one I think would win first is,

I had a german nicker knife I had wiped tuf-glide on. I set it on my kitchen table to dry and set a telephone book on top to keep it from falling off the edge of the table. now mind you I had the blade pocking off the side of the table straight out. I then turned off the lights and left the room.
A little while later i went in the kitchen to get my car keys, I didnt turn the light on, but remembered leaving the keys on the table. I leaned over the table to get them only to feel a very nasty sharp pain in my left leg. I screamed in pain as I turned on the light to find my nicker knife sticking a 3/4" in my upper leg. I quickly removed it after staring for a minute in shock. I got my keys and drove to my girlfriends house (now wife). she looked at me and asked what was wrong I pointed down and she saw the blood soaked through my jeans, running down my leg on her moms floor. Now mind you I could'nt go to the doctor as the VA was closed (closes at 4:30pm) so she pulled the skin together and taped it (laughing the whole time). the next day I went to the VA and explained what happened I told them, and well they tried to keep a straight face (didnt happen too well). I told them the knife had tuf-glide on the blade and they determined ingestion, or penetration of any sort was not good. so they had to keep and eye on me for the next three months to make sure I was going to be ok. Oh they did say my girlfriend did a good job of patching me up.
later my girlfriend asked me where the knife was, I told her it was ok, I had wiped the blood of it, washed the blade, and re-oiled it before I came over to her house!! (and I had, and she looked at me and rolled her eyes!!)
now,
unfortunately, I have a scar to remind me how stupid that was!!!!

the other thing is when I was stationed at Rheinmain Ab In Germany I bought a really nice sidebar lock, red bone handled boker switchblade. I was playing with it, opening, and closing with one hand, thought I was real slick! I was closing it once when I closed the blade on my 2nd to last finger and cut almost a 1/4" of it off. I took it to the hospital next door to where I lived in wiesbaden (how convenient!) and told them I was cutting suasage and cut myself, they laughed at me and said "you want us to put that little thing back on?"...lol!!!!!
well to say the least my finger has been shorter for the last twelve years or so!!!
:rolleyes:
 
I attempted to cut an apple with what I had handy...my Cold Steel Recon Tanto! I was in the middle of nowhere, so I was slicing the apple in my hand, pulling the blade inward. Bad idea! The blade slipped an I enjoyed a nice gouge out of my hand for the rest of the trip! :eek:
 
after honing the edge of my first butterfly knife to razor, I decided it was time to practice, 8 stiches later I decided to set that one aside and get a different butterfly (very cheap knock off) which I proceded to dull with a file. Not good for the knife but it made for a good practice knife, after I finished u couldn't even cut butter with it. That was at maybe 9 or 10 years old. Good lesson
 
Boy, mine happened just the other day. I had just bought a Kershaw Chive from Wally World to go with my EKI Mini Commander. Well, I figured I'd check the lock strength by hitting the spine of the blade on my left hand (go easy on the "Are you stupid?" remarks:)) I knew it wasn't a good Idea, and it only took 3 hits to prove myself right. I came down on the palm of my left hand and the knife slid off. Well, I guess my body's natural reflex was to quickly bring the knife back to my hand. This resulted in a nice surgical wound 3/4" long by 1/2" deep. Since the knife was upside down, this happened by the knife stabbing me and then slicing it's way out. Man, there sure is a sharp point on those Chives, not to mention a very sharp edge. Thank God for Band Aid's new Liquid Bandage which is nothing more than dressed up Super Glue. Anyway, I was able to glue it back shut, and it appears to be healing quite nicely. :D
 
Some times I don't know if I should laugh or gasp it shock when I read these things.

But anyway, the stupidest thing I have done that resulted in an blood happen not to long ago.

I was playing with my new Timberline with tanto blade when I spotted a candle and just had to carve on it. Evreything went well until I started pushing real hard, which shattered the candle and drove the blade into the bone of my left hand. Right under the pionter finger!

Man that hurt, I couldn't move my hand for a week!
 
mine was happened this sunday. was playing with crkt M16.. and stabed myself into right palm :)
and now I need to explain my boss why I was unable to make to work yesterday... plus it's really pain in the... palm to drive with manual transmition. good lesson :)
 
This happened a couple of months ago, and is a good lesson in how NOT to test the functionality of a knife:

My SRKW Battle Rat arrived on Friday, and I was eager to put it through some tests. I remembered that my wife had been bugging me about digging up a small tree stump in her flower bed. I thought, "Hell, I've got a blade that can cut through concrete blocks. I don't need to dig it out. I can destroy with a few mighty blows". So I cleared the dirt away from the protruding roots. The BR cut through the 1" thick side roots like a hot knife through butter. I knew I couldn't leave those large roots in the ground or they would send out offshoots. I started pulling up the first root, and I had about six feet of it exposed when it started getting close to the Petunias. I was poised, ready to severe the offending root before it uprooted the flowers. At that point, the root broke, sending my arm in an upward motion, and my wrist right into the tip of the BR. Believe me, it ain't called the penetrator tip for nothing. Blood gushed out, down my hand and soaking that damn root.

Amazingly, I stayed pretty calm. I dropped everything and applied pressure to my wrist. At this point I wasn't sure if I hit a vein or an artery. No one else was home, so I started thinking about dialing 911 as I walked back into the house and headed for the sink so I could wash the dirt off. I got all cleaned up without ever removing my left thumb from my right wrist. I slowly released the pressure and it had stopped bleeding. I had dodged a bullet, and only nicked a vein. I put some "Nu Skin" liquid bandage on it and all was well. I had had enough adventure for one day, so I packed up the garden tools and cleaned up my new knife. I finished the job on Saturday - without incident!

Ken
 
The worse that I've done was not with a knife, but was with a can lid.
I was up all day hacking through this computing assignment, and then I had to go to work. All was well until midnight.
I opened a can, and was going to get some paper towels to wipe my hands when my hand slip, my thumb guided itself toward the canlid and proceed to cut a nice flap on the top (starting through the top of the thumb, go kinda diagonally to the middle left of the nail, didn't cut right through) of my right thumb. The flap was 80% cut and was hanging on by 20%. Went to the hospital, cuff my arm up and put five stitches on the very top of my thumb.
After a week I could barely move it and I have to practice moving it.... It's all well and fine, except for a faint scar and altered color under my thumbnail.
 
I was practicing with my bm43 almost a year ago, and decided to try flipping behind my back. Stabbed myself right in the right buttock. Barely more than a pinprick, but still kinda embarassing.
 
This is real embarrasing, i had a DULL dinner knife, you could probably call it a butter knife. So im sitting with my friend and talking, meanwhile i not thinking what i am doing and i decide im going to show him how this knife will not cut thought this paper plate. I try to force the knife through but instead cut a chunk out of my finger. I probably would say that it was really a bad rugburn that bled, because there was no way this knife was capable of cutting anything.

The cut is on my left index finger, so typing on the computer takes me double the time. My left index finger is also my long gun trigger finger, good thing i am doing pistol shooting this time of the year.
 
How about this pinhead move...Got a large khukri stuck about halfway in it's wood & leather scabbard. I figured that a good, hard shove into the ground would work it in all the way past the bind. So I held the knife and banged it into the ground. HARD. Oh, and did I mention that I held the knife tip up?

The blade tip went through the scabbard, into the palm of my hand, and out the back. Result: Partially severed tendon, and fully severed nerve, and a number of visits to a hand surgeon.

Yeah. Ah gots the smarts real good. :rolleyes:
 
I have a couple that come to mind, but one was with a phillips screwdriver...I was installing a curtain rod for my wife, and the screwdriver slipped-out of the screwhead (for the 2nd time) and bit me. Then in a fit of rage, I threw the offending screwdriver down, and the damn thing went through my Sears DieHard boot and STUCK in my foot. OUCH!, and my wife thought I went nuts.:eek:.

The one with the knife...Not too long ago, I was practising "quick-draw" with my SOG Trident out of my (On/Scene Tactical) IWB Concealex sheath, and during one of these "draws", the knife departed the grip of my hand and went flying across the yard. My wife STILL won't let me live THAT one down, as she was watching.:rolleyes:.
 
I have to laugh, we all have at least one or two stories to tell. Does that say something about us knife guys ?
I have two quick stories.
One I have a gerber multi tool that had a real small scapel looking blade on it. I was in the living room trying to gouge a hole in something. My daughter in law kept telling me to watch out and not cut myself. Well I didnt cut myself, I stabbed myself instead. Right in the gut. God you should see how fat spreads. Anyway two stiches and I was ok.
ok, the other story, I used a spydie as my EDC. It had a blade that you could really choke up on. I use to put my thumb on the ricasso. Well then I got my CRKT mirage, guess what no ricasso !
First time I put my thumb on the blade I put a big cut dead on the center of my thumb. Well three stiches and a month later I finally got somewhat back to normal. On a cold day I swear I can still feel that cut.
Well guys these are my stories, thanks for listening
Jack
 
The day before a sea kayak trip with my brother. I was cutting some foam to place in the foot wells of my boat. Sitting on the deck of my house I decided to reach for the nearest sharp thing, which was my SRK, instead of getting a small jigsaw from the toolbox which would have done the job in seconds.

The SRK has a fairly thick spine so I had to pull the blade hard to get it to saw through the foam. Unfortunately I was breaking the first commandment and cutting towards me. Pulling hard with both hands as the knife broke through suddenly and plunged 2 inches into my right thigh. I got a good microanatomoy lesson as I could see the layer of fat, belly of the muscle and the muscle fibres before blood flowed into the cut.

The doctor did 12 internal stiches and 10 external ones and to get the job done quickly and avoid a general anaethsetic I got it done under a local instead. The most pain full event in my life for sure. I still get a ache in my leg when I think about it.
 
OK, I will join the stupid club. Many years ago I sharpened a kitchen chef's knife and wiped the metal filings off the blade on the back of my pants, yep got a nice slice in my right butt cheek. Should have gotten stiches, but was too embarrassed to go to the doctor. Still have the scar.
A more recent one was cleaning and sharpening a friends kitchen knife. Now I know, clean and polish the old blade first, then sharpen.
 
I once was practicing opening of a folder while driving and cut myself on the thumb pretty badly. This would ordinarily be bad, but made worse for the fact that I was traveling to stay over and play in a golf tournament the next day.

The quandary was, should I go to the destination and get help there, or travel back to my local hospital? I opted to go back, figuring I already know the lay of the land and would get help fast being a local boy.

Got two stitches - man, did that hurt! Hurt more than cutting myself, which actually was quite painless.

Windup was, I asked the doctor if I could play golf the next day. Naturally, he said no. Well, I went to the destination and told folks I got cut while preparing dinner. I played the next day and found that the resulting, new "grip" on the golf club actually helped my game! I continue this grip now, long after having healed. And I no longer practice knife openings while driving. This could be even more dangerous than talking on the phone!
 
I guess my most embarrasing blunder with a blade was Ft. Dix almost ninteen years ago now. Good grief where does the time go? During basic training. We where learning bayonette drills, and I was picked by my drill instructor to be his demonstration partner as he demonstrated each of the drills. We had bayonette's fixed with the hard fiberglass sheathes used at the time, still in place on the blade. He had me demonstrate a foward slash, followed by a thrust. When our weapons clashed together during the foward slash, it shattered the fiberglass sheaths. The following thrust broke his glasses, cut his cheek and knocked off his hat! He was not amused! I might have been ok had it only broken his glasses, and cut his cheek, but don't EVER knock of a drill instructors hat! Of course, group discipline was the norm in those days, one guy screws up, the whole platoon suffers. I was not very popular for a while.
 
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