What's the stoopidest thing you've ever done with a knife?

danbot

danbot

Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
11,813
When I was 17 years old, me and a buddy set up a knife throwing target in the garage when my folks were away. We got drunk on some beers and proceeded to throw our knives!:eek:o_O

We didn't end up with any injuries, but I did have to replace a bunch of fluorescent light bulbs in a hurry... and later try to explain all the dents in the lawnmower!:oops:

Let's hear some of your more shining moments!:D
 
I was 24. I was trying to separate two pieces of frozen meat using a chef's knife. I held the pieces of meat from behind and stabbed into the front of them.
-Then girlfriend (now wife) says, "Be careful. You shouldn't cut like that."
-I say, "Don't worry. I know what I'm-SHIT!"

Predictably the meat gave way, and I stabbed the knife into my left hand. Right into the meaty part under my thumb. Nicked the princeps pollices artery, blood everywhere, ER visit, stitches, the works.

My then girlfriend/now wife still reminds me every so often.
 
Cutting a zip-tie towards me with a dull knife. It stopped deep in my left thumb base. 30+ years ago, still have a nasty scar.
 
long long time ago... broke a tip off the standard kershaw blur. barely any prying torque, didnt think it would snap off like that. i was so pissed off cause it happened like it was a very thin piece of balsa wood. dont pry with your knives.

also another tip... dont cut avocado's with any knife without a thick folded towel in your hand. you will get bit.
 
Boiling a knife in hot water.

It was a cheap knife that I dont remember where I got and it was way before I seriously got into this hobby. The knife was kept somewhere unused for quite some time. Then one day I took it out only to find it was covered with some oilly stuff. For whatever reason I thought boiling water should clean it well. A few minutes later the plastic handle (pretty sure it was not g10 nor frn) shattered into pieces while the knife was still in the pot.
 
19-3ben said:
I was 24. I was trying to separate two pieces of frozen meat using a chef's knife. I held the pieces of meat from behind and stabbed into the front of them.
-Then girlfriend (now wife) says, "Be careful. You shouldn't cut like that."
-I say, "Don't worry. I know what I'm-SHIT!"

Predictably the meat gave way, and I stabbed the knife into my left hand. Right into the meaty part under my thumb. Nicked the princeps pollices artery, blood everywhere, ER visit, stitches, the works.

My then girlfriend/now wife still reminds me every so often.
Click to expand...

9 yrs later, this is my reminder to not be stupid. The reminder has about a 60% success rate, but to quote Ron White, "You can't fix stupid."

IMG_1279.JPG


And yes, that scar is about 1.5" long for a stab wound. You can imagine how deep a chef's knife penetrated into the hand for it to be 1.5" tall...
 
I narrowly avoided serious trouble recently through pure dumb luck. I was admiring a friends' new Ken Onion Leek when it slipped through my buttery fingers (dat steel handle tho...). I panicked as I saw it nosedive toward the cement driveway so I snatched it out of the air- like a moron. I wasn't cut and I'm lucky I can still count to five on that hand. Anyway, my buddy, a former sous chef, told me something I'll try to remember next time: "A falling knife has no handle."
 
When I was a kid, "sharpening" my father's WWII Navy Kabar Mk-II, over and over again, on a course stone. That poor knife now has a noticeable curve to the edge. Fortunately he had a second one that I didn't get my hands on, plus a couple of G46 "shark" knives. I still have all four of them.
 
A number of years ago, tried to freehand sharpen an old and valued Buck hunting knife when I had no idea of the process or what I was doing. I think my subconscious thought was probably somewhere along the lines of "This can't be that hard right? Take the blade to the stone at an angle and start grinding, it'll get sharp." Wrong. :cool:
 
maximus83 said:
A number of years ago, tried to freehand sharpen an old and valued Buck hunting knife when I had no idea of the process or what I was doing. I think my subconscious thought was probably somewhere along the lines of "This can't be that hard right? Take the blade to the stone at an angle and start grinding, it'll get sharp." Wrong. :cool:
Click to expand...
Well, on the plus side, at least you didn't have a buffer!:eek:
 
12 years old, decided that cutting through a frozen bagel, with a steak knife, in my hand, was a good idea. A trip to the ER and 5 stitches later I was fine. Thankfully my nail prevented me from slicing off the tip of my finger.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top