I found it on the internet in Russian. I liked that text very much, so I took the liberty of translating it.
Why do I carry a knife
To CLEO
of the 13th police department
From John Smith
Explanations on the fact of carrying a folding knife SPYDERCO ENDURA II AUS-6, overall length is 21,6 cm., the weight of 156 gr., with my name and address engraved on the handle.
I can explain on the fact of detention and questions, that the pointed out above was used by me as follows:
8:00 am. Leaving the apartment I realized I forgot my mailbox key, so it was necessary to use a knife to get a letter from my mailbox.
8:01 am. Cut chip on the door post of the door of entrance
8:02 am. Cut a thread on the sweater from the cursed chip.
8:04 am. I opened the envelope on a bench and read it.
8:10 am. For the rectification of nerves purchased in the stall the beer, it opened easily, but without happiness. "why do you carry a knife with you? "- salesgirl asked.
“with whom should I carry it? "
8:12 am. As usual, showed a knife to the with very evil dog without the a leash (this to the dog).
8:15 am. It was necessary to catch taxi. Nervous driver could not start his car. He asked for a knife, took it and did something under the hood. Returning he said - "why do you carry a knife with you?”
8:25 am. On the crossing over the driver damaged another car. Since he (driver) after this was tangled in the belt of safety, I cut his belt with a knife. "Why did not you get a serrated blade?!"
8:30 am. In the consequence of the same incident bruise was formed. I applied a knife by handle to the place of injury.
8:55 am. Cut a freely hanging wire in our laboratory.
9:10 am. It revealed that I recently cut off my own telephone cable, which did not have time to fasten on the street in view of the yesterday's picnic. Cut and cleaned new.
10: 00 am. Our receptionist carried my mail - opened revealed envelopes with the advertisement. "why do you have a knife? "
10:20 am. She appeared again – cut a tape on a box that came with the mail. “why do you have a knife?”
11:10 am. She appeared again – asked knife in order to cut a thread on her stockings. No longer had she asked.
1:00 pm. Launch - cut bread and sausage of entire laboratory. Asked "why..." 4 times.
1:05 pm. Dinner – opened a pack of “half and half” for the manager and beer for my friends.
2:00 pm. With a knife removed the paper gotten stuck in the printer.
2:30 pm. Got new monthly pass, used a knife to get the old one of the plastic enclosure.
3:15 pm. According to understanding, knocked with a knife on a wall to notify the receptionist that office manager is coming.
4:00 pm. Friend of mine took a knife for 5 minutes and it disappeared on half-hour.
4:35 pm. Won a dispute about the English word "spider", after showing an emblem on the knife - the box of beer became my. An idea of a picnic appeared.
5:10 pm. After work went into the store, where the salesgirl lay, that she does not have knife - to cut off briskets.
5:12 pm. Stopped by the marked to by some vegetables. I did not like the sales person face. Weighted a knife on his scales – it showed 200 gr. Got a big discount. "why do you carry a knife, huh? "
7:40 pm. We arrived to the picnic and the knife went around. Was used to cut everything. They asked 3 times.
8:10 pm. Drunk friend got a fish from some local kids in exchange for beer. Disemboweled it with my knife.
8:30 pm. Made a toothpick.
9:00 pm. All together cut 20- liter beer barrel (we were already somewhat drunk). "Couldn’t you get a bigger knife!?"
10:10 pm. returning home, as usual, showed knife to the owner of that evil dog.
10:15 pm. A knife was spotted by a police officer.
10:20 pm. I was identified in your police station with the aid of the engraiving on the knife, which made it possible to call my wife.
11:00 pm. And now you made a hole using my knife in the third according to my calculation folder, and clearly you do want to ask me a question - "why you carry a knife? ". So I am ready to answer!
(c)Вадим Денисов, Норильск
(c) Vadim Denisov, Norilsk
Why do I carry a knife
To CLEO
of the 13th police department
From John Smith
Explanations on the fact of carrying a folding knife SPYDERCO ENDURA II AUS-6, overall length is 21,6 cm., the weight of 156 gr., with my name and address engraved on the handle.
I can explain on the fact of detention and questions, that the pointed out above was used by me as follows:
8:00 am. Leaving the apartment I realized I forgot my mailbox key, so it was necessary to use a knife to get a letter from my mailbox.
8:01 am. Cut chip on the door post of the door of entrance
8:02 am. Cut a thread on the sweater from the cursed chip.
8:04 am. I opened the envelope on a bench and read it.
8:10 am. For the rectification of nerves purchased in the stall the beer, it opened easily, but without happiness. "why do you carry a knife with you? "- salesgirl asked.
“with whom should I carry it? "
8:12 am. As usual, showed a knife to the with very evil dog without the a leash (this to the dog).
8:15 am. It was necessary to catch taxi. Nervous driver could not start his car. He asked for a knife, took it and did something under the hood. Returning he said - "why do you carry a knife with you?”
8:25 am. On the crossing over the driver damaged another car. Since he (driver) after this was tangled in the belt of safety, I cut his belt with a knife. "Why did not you get a serrated blade?!"
8:30 am. In the consequence of the same incident bruise was formed. I applied a knife by handle to the place of injury.
8:55 am. Cut a freely hanging wire in our laboratory.
9:10 am. It revealed that I recently cut off my own telephone cable, which did not have time to fasten on the street in view of the yesterday's picnic. Cut and cleaned new.
10: 00 am. Our receptionist carried my mail - opened revealed envelopes with the advertisement. "why do you have a knife? "
10:20 am. She appeared again – cut a tape on a box that came with the mail. “why do you have a knife?”
11:10 am. She appeared again – asked knife in order to cut a thread on her stockings. No longer had she asked.
1:00 pm. Launch - cut bread and sausage of entire laboratory. Asked "why..." 4 times.
1:05 pm. Dinner – opened a pack of “half and half” for the manager and beer for my friends.
2:00 pm. With a knife removed the paper gotten stuck in the printer.
2:30 pm. Got new monthly pass, used a knife to get the old one of the plastic enclosure.
3:15 pm. According to understanding, knocked with a knife on a wall to notify the receptionist that office manager is coming.
4:00 pm. Friend of mine took a knife for 5 minutes and it disappeared on half-hour.
4:35 pm. Won a dispute about the English word "spider", after showing an emblem on the knife - the box of beer became my. An idea of a picnic appeared.
5:10 pm. After work went into the store, where the salesgirl lay, that she does not have knife - to cut off briskets.
5:12 pm. Stopped by the marked to by some vegetables. I did not like the sales person face. Weighted a knife on his scales – it showed 200 gr. Got a big discount. "why do you carry a knife, huh? "
7:40 pm. We arrived to the picnic and the knife went around. Was used to cut everything. They asked 3 times.
8:10 pm. Drunk friend got a fish from some local kids in exchange for beer. Disemboweled it with my knife.
8:30 pm. Made a toothpick.
9:00 pm. All together cut 20- liter beer barrel (we were already somewhat drunk). "Couldn’t you get a bigger knife!?"
10:10 pm. returning home, as usual, showed knife to the owner of that evil dog.
10:15 pm. A knife was spotted by a police officer.
10:20 pm. I was identified in your police station with the aid of the engraiving on the knife, which made it possible to call my wife.
11:00 pm. And now you made a hole using my knife in the third according to my calculation folder, and clearly you do want to ask me a question - "why you carry a knife? ". So I am ready to answer!
(c)Вадим Денисов, Норильск
(c) Vadim Denisov, Norilsk
