Why?

[JK Knives]

Yesterday at the hospital I ran into a girl I used to date in high school, she is now a doctor. We chatted a while, talking about family and old friends. I told her about my girls and my grandchildren, and asked if she had any. She said no, with her career she never had time for children, but was married, her husband is also a doctor.
She asked what I was doing now, I said making knives. She kind of gave me a look, said why do you do that, you can`t make much money doing that. I said no, but there is more to life than money, I have a great family, which is more important to me than money. She just looked at me again, and walked away, go figure.

 

[jds1]

I guess that's why you "used" to date. She wasn't the one.

Jeff

 

[lostdog]

My 2 cents. People are odd. They try to put everyone's life in the same box they they put their's. She was passionate about medicine; good for her. You are passionate about your family, friends and craft; good on you. You just wonder where the her empathy is. You'd expect more from a physician.

Or maybe she ate a bad taco earlier and had to get the heck out of there...

 

[KYenglish]

That's a weird reaction, if I were to guess she may have had others tell her it's an either or decision.

Then again she was the one who did she didn't have a family because of her career. Which is a perfectly fine choice but its not like you were the one that said it was necessary, she did.

Maybe she's just an odd duck lol

 

[greentrout]

I heard a good saying a few years ago that really struck a chord with me: "I don't live to work, I work to live." I've got a buddy who works a similar job as me who has done well and invested a lot of his money in rental properties and starting a personal fitness center. He's much better off than me. When we get together he's always telling me I should be doing something similar. I tell him that saying and that I love being able to walk away from day job and not think about work again until the next morning. He may be able to retire way earlier than me and have better things. But my wife and I have traveled more than most of our friends and have memories that will last longer than new cars, etc. We also have a one year old daughter now and I'd much rather spend all the time I can with her now than when I'm older and retired.

Some folks are just wired different

 

[madcap_magician]

I don't think it's that odd. May have been a twinge of regret on her part about the family thing.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that nobody can have everything. We get 24 hours a day for as many days as we get, and we can only choose to do one thing with any of those hours. Any time spent on career building is time not spent on family, or volunteering, or hobbies, or whatever, and vice versa.

Pretty hard to come out of life with no regrets about how we spent our time. Things look different in hindsight, and things that were once unimaginably important seem to not matter as much.

On the other hand, rent needs paid, too, so I would never tell someone to spend no time developing their careers, and careers are a source of great personal satisfaction just as family is.

But we only get the time that we get.

 

[Lapedog]

Feminism has sold to wo!men the idea that having kids and a husband is for losers. It teaches them even if they have kids that they should be in the workplace and have a baby sitter raise their kids. It teaches these women happiness lies somewhere between their credit cards and the cashiers.

Not all feminists of course.

 

[KYenglish]

I heard a good saying a few years ago that really struck a chord with me: "I don't live to work, I work to live." I've got a buddy who works a similar job as me who has done well and invested a lot of his money in rental properties and starting a personal fitness center. He's much better off than me. When we get together he's always telling me I should be doing something similar. I tell him that saying and that I love being able to walk away from day job and not think about work again until the next morning. He may be able to retire way earlier than me and have better things. But my wife and I have traveled more than most of our friends and have memories that will last longer than new cars, etc. We also have a one year old daughter now and I'd much rather spend all the time I can with her now than when I'm older and retired.

Some folks are just wired different

I wish i coudl say I was so aware t have chosen it, the closest I came was when we foudn otu Sam was on the way, I lived in England and was planning on a carear in the military, which could have worked, but there was no way I was going to be able to train and see sam much through his first year while living in another country at elast. Didn't seem like much of a choice to me, I coudn't wait to get here. Never found much of a carear since, but if I could take it back knwoing I'd have more money, less guilty about "skipping" the service, but would have missed even a day of his first 3 months...I'd still do it the same way.

I don't think it's that odd. May have been a twinge of regret on her part about the family thing.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that nobody can have everything. We get 24 hours a day for as many days as we get, and we can only choose to do one thing with any of those hours. Any time spent on career building is time not spent on family, or volunteering, or hobbies, or whatever, and vice versa.

Pretty hard to come out of life with no regrets about how we spent our time. Things look different in hindsight, and things that were once unimaginable important seem to not matter as much.

On the other hand, rent needs paid, too, so I would never tell someone to spend no time developing their careers, and careers are a source of great personal satisfaction just as family is.

But we only get the time that we get.

:thumbup: here, here,

I know some people that have a larger mix of everything (carear, family, fun) I guess I don't work that fast to fit it all in I guess, everyone has a different ideal balance I guess

Feminism has sold to wo!men the idea that having kids and a husband is for losers. It teaches them even if they have kids that they should be in the workplace and have a baby sitter raise their kids. It teaches these women happiness lies somewhere between their credit cards and the cashiers.

Not all feminists of course.

and that's not feminism either, #justsayin

yeah, some have that kinda misguided idea. It's hard not to think thigns make us happy, if I watch more then my usual few shows on the TV then the adverts about ahve me convinced I need to run to walmart and buy some thigns or be doomed to unhappiness forever! lol

 

[BMCGear]

People value different things.

 

[fishiker]

People value different things.

I couldn't agree more.

At work we're very lucky to have overtime, normally as much as a person is willing to work. For the younger guys with no families it's a great opportunity to put money in the bank, buy a home, or buy "toys" they may not be able to afford later in life. Many get used to the big checks and find it difficult to go back to a normal work week. I know some need the extra money to make ends meet due to unusual circumstances. I feel sorry the guys who have a choice and choose the big checks over time with their families. Unfortunately many have paid the price for being away from their families for so many hours. They find themselves paying child support and giving an unhappy spouse half of everything they have worked so hard for.

I think the key to a successful life is a person being truly happy with their life choices.

 

[glennbad]

Sounds like she values success IN life as more valuable than the success OF life. It probably tweaks her to know that you are enjoying the life you have and your family more than the pursuit of big bank accounts and fancy things. All that money and stuff is great, but you are a far richer person because of your family, John!

 

[Kalibr906]

This post really stuck a chord with me. I recently transferred to a different agent (insurance) and it's been a struggle. Having to call random phone numbers off a list all day has been slowly killing my soul. I stick with it because we need the money and I know so many kettle have it worse than me so I try to suck it up and do a good job. Still I think it's time to find something that I don't dislike so much. My parents are working on creating a brewery just down the street from me and they have expressed a desire to have me work there. Mixing family and business seems risky but I can't think if a job I would prefer over something like that. We'll see how it all plays out but it was great to see others express more interest in living life than making boat loads of money.

 

[gadgetgeek]

I'll give you a flip-side to that conversation. My wife and I are kid-free. won't want any, no chance of that changing. Nearly every conversation where someone starts talking about kids and families ends up with them trying, intentionally or not, to convince us that we are wrong. Sometimes its a guilt trip, sometimes something else. So we just pull the pin of the conversation as soon as it starts going there. I don't mind hearing about your kids, but I don't want to talk about my lack of them. Sometimes that makes me seem like a terrible human (which I am) but so it goes. I have friends who wanted kids but could not for various reasons and its an even touchier subject for them. So they caught a lot more flak for their reactions to the questioning. There are a lot of reasons to walk away from small-talk, either she didn't like where that could go, its a painful subject that she didn't care to share, or you are familiar enough that she didn't feel she needed to formalize everything. Work can be just as rewarding as a family, the money might not be part of it.

 

[Gaston444]

Feminism has sold to wo!men the idea that having kids and a husband is for losers. It teaches them even if they have kids that they should be in the workplace and have a baby sitter raise their kids. It teaches these women happiness lies somewhere between their credit cards and the cashiers.

Not all feminists of course.

I agree feminism plays a big role... Not to get too political about it, but it could be why our whole civilization is on the skids right now. I also find it crazy that child rearing is not heavily subsidized.

Gaston

 

[frontiertom]

This post really stuck a chord with me. I recently transferred to a different agent (insurance) and it's been a struggle. Having to call random phone numbers off a list all day has been slowly killing my soul. I stick with it because we need the money and I know so many kettle have it worse than me so I try to suck it up and do a good job. Still I think it's time to find something that I don't dislike so much. My parents are working on creating a brewery just down the street from me and they have expressed a desire to have me work there. Mixing family and business seems risky but I can't think if a job I would prefer over something like that. We'll see how it all plays out but it was great to see others express more interest in living life than making boat loads of money.

Wow, I would jump on that brewery job in a heartbreak, if I could be the brewmaster, and I was somewhat younger. I started out collecting brewerianna some forty years ago, then I started home brewing. Then I ended up meeting the people that brewed for a Microbrewery here in town, got to be friends, then I would go over every once in awhile and brew with them. I got to brew my own recipes here and there. That's a blast.

 

[frontiertom]

Yesterday at the hospital I ran into a girl I used to date in high school, she is now a doctor. We chatted a while, talking about family and old friends. I told her about my girls and my grandchildren, and asked if she had any. She said no, with her career she never had time for children, but was married, her husband is also a doctor.
She asked what I was doing now, I said making knives. She kind of gave me a look, said why do you do that, you can`t make much money doing that. I said no, but there is more to life than money, I have a great family, which is more important to me than money. She just looked at me again, and walked away, go figure.

Wow Buddy, that sounded like she had a personal problem to me. LOL! It takes all kinds to run a world, and I guess we can't all be the boss or be in charge. I sure wouldn't sweat it. Later