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ron finkbeiner jr

ron finkbeiner jr

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Jan 6, 2012
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I got word today that my 19 year old daughter left home in the middle of the night with her boyfriend and that she may be pregnant.
 
That's a bit of jagged pill to swallow. However, at 19 she is a big girl and can legally make her own decisions. What did she say when you called her?
 
I have not called cause my cell is shut off. My son tells me my wife is upset. Things are not so good at our house right now. We are in a bad way. My job stinks and I am gone more than I am home and the sorry thing is I am not Maki g near enough to make ends meet. Our land lord is about to give us the boot and we have no where to go. I am sorry to put this out like this but I am sitting in a Truckstop stewing on this. I haven't spoken to my wife in three or four days and the doggone payphones won't let me call home. She can get calls, she just can't make them. I am sick with worry right now. This load I am on I picked up last Friday and doesn't deliver till Wednesday. My company won't let me get out from under it and so far they have pretty much ignored my inquiries. I told them that I had an emergency and needed to get home. They ignored me. So I am stuck here.
 
Where are you at tonight? Maybe one of the regulars is somewhere near you and could meet up for coffee. What say folks? Thanks for letting us know you need some help and prayers. Hold steady and keep focused on what you are doing so you get home safe. Lots of us have been though hard stuff that was over our heads with family and keeping up. I know we wish God would fix it all in one swoop but keep on seeking God and asking Him to show you where the hope and path is in this period of your life. PM me, I'll be on here again tomorrow night to check how your day went. I have found God was most real to me when the storms were crashing around me but you have to keep listening to truth and not let worry, fear and anxiety takeover your mind.
 
I usually do not comment in a thread like this but I went through some really bad stuff with my adult son a few years back. The best advise I can give you is to take care of yourself first so you can be strong enough to take care of your family. I am not saying put yourself first but take care of yourself. Get enough rest, eat, and don't drink too much. You need to be strong and take one day at a time it will get better.
 
Good evening, Ron.

If she's 19, it time for her to be an independent adult. Maybe it didn't happen the way you and your wife imagined or hoped it would, but there are many things in life we don't get the final say-so. If she's pregnant, then running away with her boyfriend may have seemed like the responsible thing to do. Hopefully the young man is a caring and hard working person, and the two of them have some means of supporting themselves.

As for being on the road with an important delivery to make, take care and be safe. Perhaps by the time you arrive home a new 'normal' will have started to settle in, and the worst of the drama and worrying will have passed.

This is from one person who travels for work to another: I'm away for work for weeks at a time, overseas, and with the time changes I am rarely able to call home. I just have to trust Wife to cover for me while I'm gone. And I'm not allowed to complain too much about decisions she makes when I'm not there. It's a bit of a system we have worked out. Hopefully you and your wife have a similar arrangement?
-Bob
 
Bob W said:
Good evening, Ron.

If she's 19, it time for her to be an independent adult. Maybe it didn't happen the way you and your wife imagined or hoped it would, but there are many things in life we don't get the final say-so. If she's pregnant, then running away with her boyfriend may have seemed like the responsible thing to do. Hopefully the young man is a caring and hard working person, and the two of them have some means of supporting themselves.

As for being on the road with an important delivery to make, take care and be safe. Perhaps by the time you arrive home a new 'normal' will have started to settle in, and the worst of the drama and worrying will have passed.

This is from one person who travels for work to another: I'm away for work for weeks at a time, overseas, and with the time changes I am rarely able to call home. I just have to trust Wife to cover for me while I'm gone. And I'm not allowed to complain too much about decisions she makes when I'm not there. It's a bit of a system we have worked out. Hopefully you and your wife have a similar arrangement?
-Bob
Click to expand...

I have not met the boyfriend but from what I gather he comes from a troubled family. I am primarily concerned with my wife's well being, I have let it go for now. My wife said " when Caitlin left it felt like something died in me". I am trying to get home and I am going to bring my wife on the road with me for a while and get her and I away from it for a while. We are way behind on our bills and I am not even sure if my landlord is going to tolerate us much longer. I am hoping to work something out with them when I get home. The miles here have Sucked so far, it was good when I started but it's just gone down hill. There will be water if God wills it, I believe that so if it is meant to work out it will. Thank ya'll for the kind words.
 
willseeyalater said:
Where are you at tonight? Maybe one of the regulars is somewhere near you and could meet up for coffee. What say folks? Thanks for letting us know you need some help and prayers. Hold steady and keep focused on what you are doing so you get home safe. Lots of us have been though hard stuff that was over our heads with family and keeping up. I know we wish God would fix it all in one swoop but keep on seeking God and asking Him to show you where the hope and path is in this period of your life. PM me, I'll be on here again tomorrow night to check how your day went. I have found God was most real to me when the storms were crashing around me but you have to keep listening to truth and not let worry, fear and anxiety takeover your mind.
Click to expand...

I' M in Mt. Vernon, IL.
 
My wife said " when Caitlin left it felt like something died in me".
Click to expand...

Probably every mother feels it. I'm sure my wife will feel the same when we pack up the boy for college in ten years or so. Or when he runs away to join the Foreign Legion. Or the circus. Or whatever. Like I said, there's some things we just don't get to decide. :)
 
Ron,

I live about 40 minutes south of there. Please let me know if there is something I can do to help. The terrible part is I have family in the hospital now so I can't do a lot. If you could get here I would gladly provide phone/internet so you can contact your family.
 
I got a delivery in Belleville in the am and then a p/u in Granite City for N. Little Rock, AR on Thursday am. Then I should be heading home afterwards.
 
I prayed for you again today Ron. Life can bring gradual changes so slow so you hardly notice then sometimes it will roll changes in on your home and family like a thunderstorm with hail, lightning and the whole works so it blows water through the cracks and rattles your windows. My wife and I weathered the loss of a baby girl in 2001 and loss of my job just last year in May but our homelife and family are built on stuff that doesn't move even when the shingles and paint gets peeled off. Nothing about those life storms was easy and even now after getting back to work we aren't where we were for income (and we weren't stacking it up fast even then). Keep taking care of your Mrs. and trusting God to show you where real hope is found. By the way, when life hands you a bag of cow pie God doesn't get offended if we need to tell him that we are mad about it no more than we got mad at our own kids when they told us they didn't like something we had to let them experience. I don't understand it all or like it all either many times.
 
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