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Y2K
- Thread starter Dan K
- Start date
- Joined
- Oct 14, 1998
- Messages
- 259
Major metro areas in Australia and Japan have come across not probs, as well as a few nuclear reacters in Russia. If there are any nit-picky problems, we'll most likely see them the first business week.
Gollnick
Musical Director
- Joined
- Mar 22, 1999
- Messages
- 29,258
A friend of mine forwarded this to me this morning:
The Best Ways to Prepare for Y2K:
1. Fatten up your closest friends. You may need them later. (Just think
"mmm,filet of Ron")
2. Run to the bank and withdraw as much cash as you can carry. Be sure to
yell, "I'm going to the bank to withdraw as much cash as I can carry!"
3. Have a ski mask and baseball bat handy. You won't want to miss out on
all the looting fun.
4. Dig an underground bomb shelter. If there is no nuclear disaster, at
least you'll have an underground bomb shelter. How cool is that?
5. Protect your water supply. Put a drop of yellow food coloring in every
container.
6. Get some carrier pigeons. They'll be your best form of communication. They
also taste like chicken.
7. Get one of those Indiglo Watches. When we have the big power failure,
who's gonna know what time it is? You are, that's who.
8. Buy lots of Spam and .22 Rimfire ammo. It will be the world's new currency.
9. Punch a computer programmer. Why? Why not?
10. Have plenty of clean towels. It's not specific to any millenial disaster,
but when have you ever not needed clean towels?
11. Get used to changing the TV channel by hand. Remote controls will be
totally inoperable.
12. Stock up on cat food. No, it's not for feeding cats. It's for catching
them (if you know what I mean).
13. Have plenty of sharp #2 pencils on hand. Due to computing errors, you may
have to re-take your SAT's.
14. Throw out your microwave and VCR. On January 1st, they may come alive
and try to kill you.
15. Collect all the spoons you can. Why? Because right now spoons are
everywhere, But after January 1st, who knows?
16. Move to Canada. Nothing bad ever happens to those guys.
17. Visit a fertility clinic. It may be up to you alone to replenish the
earth.
18. Make friends with the Amish. Because after December 31st, we're all
Amish.
19. Hunker down. Then hunker down some more. We just like to say "Hunker
Down."
Try it, it's fun!
20. Break it to your kids that the world may end. Start by telling them
there is no Santa Claus. That way, the news won't seem so bad.
21. Save all your Christmas Wrapping. It doubles as toilet paper.
22. Crawl into the fetal position and practice screaming: We're all gonna
die! We're all gonna die!
23. Stock up on earplugs. If you hear "Party Like it's 1999" one more time,
you will go insane.
24. Pray. This does no good if you're in advertising, they're all going to
hell regardless.
------------------
Chuck
Balisongs -- because it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!
http://www.4cs.net/~gollnick
The Best Ways to Prepare for Y2K:
1. Fatten up your closest friends. You may need them later. (Just think
"mmm,filet of Ron")
2. Run to the bank and withdraw as much cash as you can carry. Be sure to
yell, "I'm going to the bank to withdraw as much cash as I can carry!"
3. Have a ski mask and baseball bat handy. You won't want to miss out on
all the looting fun.
4. Dig an underground bomb shelter. If there is no nuclear disaster, at
least you'll have an underground bomb shelter. How cool is that?
5. Protect your water supply. Put a drop of yellow food coloring in every
container.
6. Get some carrier pigeons. They'll be your best form of communication. They
also taste like chicken.
7. Get one of those Indiglo Watches. When we have the big power failure,
who's gonna know what time it is? You are, that's who.
8. Buy lots of Spam and .22 Rimfire ammo. It will be the world's new currency.
9. Punch a computer programmer. Why? Why not?
10. Have plenty of clean towels. It's not specific to any millenial disaster,
but when have you ever not needed clean towels?
11. Get used to changing the TV channel by hand. Remote controls will be
totally inoperable.
12. Stock up on cat food. No, it's not for feeding cats. It's for catching
them (if you know what I mean).
13. Have plenty of sharp #2 pencils on hand. Due to computing errors, you may
have to re-take your SAT's.
14. Throw out your microwave and VCR. On January 1st, they may come alive
and try to kill you.
15. Collect all the spoons you can. Why? Because right now spoons are
everywhere, But after January 1st, who knows?
16. Move to Canada. Nothing bad ever happens to those guys.
17. Visit a fertility clinic. It may be up to you alone to replenish the
earth.
18. Make friends with the Amish. Because after December 31st, we're all
Amish.
19. Hunker down. Then hunker down some more. We just like to say "Hunker
Down."
Try it, it's fun!
20. Break it to your kids that the world may end. Start by telling them
there is no Santa Claus. That way, the news won't seem so bad.
21. Save all your Christmas Wrapping. It doubles as toilet paper.
22. Crawl into the fetal position and practice screaming: We're all gonna
die! We're all gonna die!
23. Stock up on earplugs. If you hear "Party Like it's 1999" one more time,
you will go insane.
24. Pray. This does no good if you're in advertising, they're all going to
hell regardless.
------------------
Chuck
Balisongs -- because it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing!
http://www.4cs.net/~gollnick