Yet another idiot vrs. beast story

[not2sharp]

....If he only had a khukuri (and a minigun)...

Kung Fu Lion
Historic Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed by Darwin
(Late 1989s, Australia) A rather impressionable student of kung fu listened with rapt attention when his instructor dramatically informed the class, "Now that you have reached this level in your training, you can kill wild animals with your bare hands!"

The martial arts trainee took the statement as gospel, and headed to the Melbourne zoo to test his mettle with the wildest animal of all: the lion. In the dead of night, he slipped into the zoo, leapt into the lion enclosure, and engaged a suitable king of the jungle in combat.

He would probably have lost a one-on-one fight, but he never got to try. His naive fight plan didn't account for the enthusiasm of the lion's pride for a tender intruder; nor did it give sufficient weight to the possibility that his instructor didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

Zoo employees found his remains -- two arms and hands -- the following morning, with shreds of red fur grasped tightly in his fingers.

 

[Sylvrfalcn]

I hope them big kittys didn't get indigestion from their dinner of dumba$$.

Sarge

 

[truck]

I was just thinking, how can anyone be so damn dumb? Then, I thought about some of the people that I've met on this planet.

 

[SamuraiDave]

There are reasons people have been afraid of them for generations. He got what was coming to him, at least he didnt hurt anybody else doing it. (I agree with what Sarge said.)

BTW Anyone read about the .458 Lott in American Rifleman a month back? (5,826 ft lbs of energy at the Muzzle with a 500 gr projectile, where a 180 gr .300 Win Mag has 3519 ft lbs)

 

[not2sharp]

(5,826 ft lbs of energy at the Muzzle with a 500 gr projectile, where a 180 gr .300 Win Mag has 3519 ft lbs)

Thanks.... but, I wouldn't fire that thing without a proper fixed carriage. One shot and the wife would be cutting my steaks for me for a week. Beside, according to Peter Chapstick, the best weapon against lion is a double barreled 12 GA. They are thin skinned and buck shot effectively drops them.

Then again, I had a customer tell me about his poor brother-in-law once. The boys were playing with a new Mossberg 12ga pump (the kind that use to come with only a pistol grip and no rear stock). The BL looked really cool shooting the thing one handed (like a pistol); then he shot at a low target directly in front of him. I don't know if he hit it, but the recoil drove the pistol grip into his groin... Now that's a mistake you tend not to repeat.

n2s

 

[ddean]

Originally posted by not2sharp ......Historic Darwin Award Nominee ......Zoo employees found his remains -- two arms and hands -- the following morning, with shreds of red fur grasped tightly in his fingers.

I love the Darwin Awards.

Just bought a pair of the books as a gift for my Dad.

 

[hoghead]

It seems that in some cases the martial arts instills an unjustified confidence in people. Learning how to fight in class is one thing but how well do we do when placed in a "real" situation? No matter what the movies lead us to believe there is no "magic". Granted learning how to cope with situations is a good way to go. But lets not give credit where it does not belong or we wind up like this poor soul.

 

[firkin]

RE: Darwin.

Did he reproduce before he was et??

 

[Brendan]

Should have asked me for a lesson or two before attempting such foolery !!

B

 

[DannyinJapan]

i just cant believe it, are you sure this isnt a joke ?

 

[BruiseLeee]

At least he got to pull some hair.

 

[mPisi]

Not just foolishness but no morals either - "Oh I'm so good now, I'll just go kill a lion"

 

[ddean]

Originally posted by DannyinJapan
i just cant believe it, are you sure this isnt a joke ?

Dumb, Dumber, Darwin
-----------------------
www.darwinawards.com
-----------------------
Commemorating those individuals
who insure the long-term survival of our species
by removing themselves from the gene pool
in a sublimely idiotic fashion.

At the website you can review
'yet to be accepted' (slush pile) submissions from readers
& add your own vote, then see the vote % from others.

 

[Yvsa]

Originally posted by Brendan
Should have asked me for a lesson or two before attempting such foolery !!

B

And that's why I call you Two Dogs.

 

[Brendan]

LOL

Yvsa, was baiting you mate !!

 

[Yvsa]

Originally posted by Brendan
LOL

Yvsa, was baiting you mate !!

Who was baiting who Two Dogs Mating?

 

[Yahmanin]

Why do you ask, Broken Rubber?

 

[firkin]

Yahmanin,

Just to let you know, there is a bit of history and previous context behind the exchange between Yvsa and Brendan.

If you aren't familiar with it, may I suggest:

a) slowly and nonchalantly remove foot from mouth
b) blend in with the scenery and discretely retreat.

...Just to let you know...

if an analogy helps, it's as though you've stumbled accross a long-running joke between members of the in-law family that you didn't know about.

 

[Yvsa]

Originally posted by Yahmanin
Why do you ask, Broken Rubber?

If that isn't the punch line of an ndn joke like "Two DOgs Mating" then it oughta be.
Maybe tha, Naaaaw. Even Two Dogs doesn't deserve that.

 

[Yahmanin]

Alternate ending indeed. I'm pretty used to the taste of foot, but I'll slink away quietly with sincere muttered apologies if the in-laws glare at me. Just wait til I get drunk and fall off the porch at Christmas.