- Joined
- Jan 21, 2002
- Messages
- 2,483
Just found this, thought it was good.
You might be a total basketcase of a knifeknut if:
You spend 10 minutes each morning deciding which folder to carry.
Someone says Yam, and Thanksgiving never enters your mind (sorry Hilton no disrespect intended).
You know that KCI and PKVAT are not food or drink.
Your philosophical musings range to "how sharp is sharp".
All of your bandaids are 7/8".
Everyone begins smalltalk with "how's the thumb".
One of your arms is hairless.
Every time you go to cut something at work you have to decide WHICH knife to use.....
You're seriously thinking of buying a single knife that's worth more than your computer.
You're seriously contemplating buying a grinder that's worth more than your car.
Your first thought on finding a pile of scrap metal is, "Gee, I wonder what kind of sparks this stuff with throw?"
You spend more time discussing knives than you do talking with your mate or playing with your dogs, (or kids).
The first thing you do when visiting relatives that you haven't seen in years, in a strange city, that you've never been to, is to look through the phone book for interesting knife stores.
You've ever asked your boss if you could take your entire annual leave, just to travel to see a bunch of guys take a red hot piece of metal and beat the heck out of it.
If you've ever been frustrated that of the nearly 300 different commercial blade blanks available to you, none of them match your "ideal" knife pattern.
If you spend a week obsessing which knives to take on your fishing trip.
If on your fishing trip your assorted knives weigh more than the rest of your gear.
If when you finally catch a trout you are caught only with your serrated Endura - probably the worst choice to clean fish with
If you have a work-day knife (a Michael Walker lightweight), because your usual serrated Endura used to scare the nurses
If you can recite from memory the laws on knife carry in the 50 states, 12 Canadian Provinces, Commonwealth of Puerto Rico and Marianna Islands
If you carry a small ruler with you wherever you fly just to be able to show the airport security that your blade is indeed shorter than 4 inches
If you haven' bought a new knife for a month you have a tendency to talk to yourself and dress up small animals
You call around to several Spyderco dealers to get a first production run knife with the lowest serial number.
Find some sort of attraction with bright blue knife boxes
All of a sudden you have a strong desire to relocate to Oregon.
when you go to a knife shop, you ALWAYS buy a new knife.
You coworkers ask, "How many knives do you have on you today?" at least once a week.
And, you keep forgeting the one on your key ring and the Tool Logic in your wallet when you reply.
You remember nothing from a recent movies except a character displayed a cute-looking folder in a flash, and now it's so challenging to find out which model/who made the knife? You even think about watching it again.
It doesn't matter to you how many of Mr. Swim/Swam/Swan in rec.knives since they are all talking about knives.
You can remember everything in Bob Engnath's catalog.
Your favorite video is Cold Steel's PROOF.
You spend hours on your new AFCK finding out how many washers it actually has.
You never fail to recall that AFCK stands for Advanced Folding Combat Knife. But what the heck are those BTW,IMO, and FYI?
When the mail comes, you check out the knife catalogs before the Victoria Secret catalogs.
After you've eloquently elaborated on the design and use of the fighting knife, your mother apologetically tells the group, "He wasn't this weird when I sent him out to California."
You use your knife to cut open plastic bags and scotch-taped boxes (anyone else do this? I use my knife to cut open everything, even when I could open said item by just ripping it with my hands)
Your beloved says, "What do you think of this new see-through "teddy"?" And without even looking up, you reply, "Be with you in a bit, dear, I've not yet finished this blade."
You own more sharpening systems than ties.
You own more books on knives than on religion and politics combined.
Somebody mentions "Levine's" at a party, and it takes you several minutes to realize that they're talking about a clothing store. (Or was it diamonds?)
You show up at a potluck barbeque dinner with your own cutlery.
Your idea of the history of man, involves progressing from flint to bronze to ATS34.
You've actually spent a weekend chipping quartz, just to see how good them old fashioned edges may have been.
You've actually spent several hours beating out a copper knife, just to prove to yourself that beaten copper probably didn't play a major role in the history of man, between flint and bronze.
You've considered casting copper for the same reasons.
It's Independence Day for your country, and you're sitting around waiting for your work beeper to call you back a third time, and are typing this kind of thing rather than enjoying a parade or some fireworks somewhere.
Your spell checker ignores spyder.
You go to touch up the kitchen knives and spend 20 minutes picking out the sharpener.
You know that a choil is not a little kid.
You look at a piece of linen and wonder how they turn it into knife handles. You look at a checkered table cloth and think the same thing.
You keep switching your butter knife from sabre to reverse grip.
and - wonder what kind of edge it would hold.
and - how it would work in a wrist sheath.
You carry a politically correct knife along with your everyday one just so you don't scare the natives.
Someone says "hey get a grip" and you think G-10.
One of your legs and one of your arms is hairless (I can take a hint).
You see an ax and think of shaving.
You have Kydex sheaths for your steak knives.
You hold a ball point pen and think penetration.
You pick out a letter opener. Mmm - carbon or stainless? Serrated or straight?
Your favorite fork has a lanyard loop.
You show up at deer camp with more knives than ammunition.
Everyone at hunting camp wants to borrow your knives cause theirs won't even cut butter.
You go to your stand still carrying more knives than ammo.
When you go to skin and butcher your deer you bring at least a half dozen knives and at least three different types of sharpeners.
You're the only one at camp who knows what steel his blades are made of.
You're the only one that doesn't choke when someone says he paid more than $25 for their knife.
You cut open a box at work with your pocketknife and promptly get the nickname "Soldier of Fortune".
You have all your pants and knives matched for comfort of carry.
> If you can recite from memory the laws on knife carry in the 50 states, 12
> Canadian Provinces, Commonwealth of Puerto Rico and Marianna Islands
You're sad that you don't fit that quote, but think "but at least I'm working on it".
You actually have to check the knife laws of travel destinations.
The first time you seriously consider travelling to France is because there's a knife show there.
You add to the "you might be a knife nut" thread because it seems like a way to justify and confess to your own quirks.
Your girlfriend travels 14,000 miles to Korea and asks what you want her to buy for you, and you say "a traditional knife".
The reading material in the family bathroom includes a Benchmade catalog. (Heck, that plus several AG Russells, Atlantic Cutlery, Smoky Mt. Come to
think of it, there isn't any reading material that ISN'T knife related!)
Your paring knives are all folders.
You've ever been asked by your significant other just WHAT do you need another knife for........and your reply is to ask, given that she (he?) only has two ears, just why does she need more than one pair of earrings.
Somebody asks, "Anybody have a knife?" and the whole group looks over at you knowingly and snickers (or takes a few steps back).
You started a whole &^%%&^ business so you could get more cool knife toys.
You have so many knives that there's more than one in every room of your house (bathrooms included).
You have trouble packing the "right" knives for some trip.
You need to carry several of them simultaneously so that your whole collection gets used.
You have so many similar looking models that you need to unsheath them or open them so that you can see if this is the 60% serrated, 50% serrated, plain, chisel point, etc. model that you were looking for.
You like to play with your AFCK anytime you're standing still with nothing else to do.
You started buying knives that cost more than some guns you've owned.
$(fill in number) is no longer "too much" for a knife.
When somebody says "do you have a knife" your reply is "Well, I'm here aren't I?!!"
...or you reply "which one do you want?"
Your knife is out of your pocket and open before someone can finish asking, "Anyone got a knife?"
Your shovels are sharper than most people's steak knives.
You've ever shaved with your favorite folder because you forgot your razor.
You've ever shaved with your favorite folder just because you could!
You wore a sheath knife with a suit,(Theresa is still mad about that.)
Every catalog has strips cut into it as you have not had any hair on your arms for years.
Your monthly budget has a category for knives.
You tried superglue on cuts.
Nobody will ask you what you want for gifts.
Your wife gasps it is so big, but she is not talking about lil'elvis.
There are one or more drawers full of knives in your kitchen, and your bedroom.
You keep a diving-knife-on-a-rope hanging in your shower for shaving, slicing off soap chips, removing lime scale, etc.
Your email sig file reads "Have a knife day!"
You have a keyboard macro that automatically converts "bm" to "Benchmade".
You have two copies each of the last six months of Blade, Knives Illustrated, and Tactical Knives because you subscribe to each of them but the new issues always show up at the newstands before they come in the mail.
You pay for half of each of your knife purchases with cash you hoarded from your lunch allowance so your wife won't find out how much they cost when she sees the credit card statement.
You go hunting during rifle season, even though you think the odds are greater that you will be shot than that you will shoot a deer, to justify buying a new hunter every year.
If you ever fall into water over your head while fully clothed, you will have to toss away some knives to keep from sinking like a rock.
The only illegal contraband you have ever transported is an automatic knife.
You play with your AFCK all the time, whether you are doing something else or not. You are an expert at typing and driving with either hand.
(Thanks to mrb@bitstream.net for starting this thread, and the many rec.knives folks who contributed.)
http://www2.rpa.net/~ctdonath/KnifeNutIf.htm
You might be a total basketcase of a knifeknut if:
You spend 10 minutes each morning deciding which folder to carry.
Someone says Yam, and Thanksgiving never enters your mind (sorry Hilton no disrespect intended).
You know that KCI and PKVAT are not food or drink.
Your philosophical musings range to "how sharp is sharp".
All of your bandaids are 7/8".
Everyone begins smalltalk with "how's the thumb".
One of your arms is hairless.
Every time you go to cut something at work you have to decide WHICH knife to use.....
You're seriously thinking of buying a single knife that's worth more than your computer.
You're seriously contemplating buying a grinder that's worth more than your car.
Your first thought on finding a pile of scrap metal is, "Gee, I wonder what kind of sparks this stuff with throw?"
You spend more time discussing knives than you do talking with your mate or playing with your dogs, (or kids).
The first thing you do when visiting relatives that you haven't seen in years, in a strange city, that you've never been to, is to look through the phone book for interesting knife stores.
You've ever asked your boss if you could take your entire annual leave, just to travel to see a bunch of guys take a red hot piece of metal and beat the heck out of it.
If you've ever been frustrated that of the nearly 300 different commercial blade blanks available to you, none of them match your "ideal" knife pattern.
If you spend a week obsessing which knives to take on your fishing trip.
If on your fishing trip your assorted knives weigh more than the rest of your gear.
If when you finally catch a trout you are caught only with your serrated Endura - probably the worst choice to clean fish with
If you have a work-day knife (a Michael Walker lightweight), because your usual serrated Endura used to scare the nurses
If you can recite from memory the laws on knife carry in the 50 states, 12 Canadian Provinces, Commonwealth of Puerto Rico and Marianna Islands
If you carry a small ruler with you wherever you fly just to be able to show the airport security that your blade is indeed shorter than 4 inches
If you haven' bought a new knife for a month you have a tendency to talk to yourself and dress up small animals
You call around to several Spyderco dealers to get a first production run knife with the lowest serial number.
Find some sort of attraction with bright blue knife boxes
All of a sudden you have a strong desire to relocate to Oregon.
when you go to a knife shop, you ALWAYS buy a new knife.
You coworkers ask, "How many knives do you have on you today?" at least once a week.
And, you keep forgeting the one on your key ring and the Tool Logic in your wallet when you reply.
You remember nothing from a recent movies except a character displayed a cute-looking folder in a flash, and now it's so challenging to find out which model/who made the knife? You even think about watching it again.
It doesn't matter to you how many of Mr. Swim/Swam/Swan in rec.knives since they are all talking about knives.
You can remember everything in Bob Engnath's catalog.
Your favorite video is Cold Steel's PROOF.
You spend hours on your new AFCK finding out how many washers it actually has.
You never fail to recall that AFCK stands for Advanced Folding Combat Knife. But what the heck are those BTW,IMO, and FYI?
When the mail comes, you check out the knife catalogs before the Victoria Secret catalogs.
After you've eloquently elaborated on the design and use of the fighting knife, your mother apologetically tells the group, "He wasn't this weird when I sent him out to California."
You use your knife to cut open plastic bags and scotch-taped boxes (anyone else do this? I use my knife to cut open everything, even when I could open said item by just ripping it with my hands)
Your beloved says, "What do you think of this new see-through "teddy"?" And without even looking up, you reply, "Be with you in a bit, dear, I've not yet finished this blade."
You own more sharpening systems than ties.
You own more books on knives than on religion and politics combined.
Somebody mentions "Levine's" at a party, and it takes you several minutes to realize that they're talking about a clothing store. (Or was it diamonds?)
You show up at a potluck barbeque dinner with your own cutlery.
Your idea of the history of man, involves progressing from flint to bronze to ATS34.
You've actually spent a weekend chipping quartz, just to see how good them old fashioned edges may have been.
You've actually spent several hours beating out a copper knife, just to prove to yourself that beaten copper probably didn't play a major role in the history of man, between flint and bronze.
You've considered casting copper for the same reasons.
It's Independence Day for your country, and you're sitting around waiting for your work beeper to call you back a third time, and are typing this kind of thing rather than enjoying a parade or some fireworks somewhere.
Your spell checker ignores spyder.
You go to touch up the kitchen knives and spend 20 minutes picking out the sharpener.
You know that a choil is not a little kid.
You look at a piece of linen and wonder how they turn it into knife handles. You look at a checkered table cloth and think the same thing.
You keep switching your butter knife from sabre to reverse grip.
and - wonder what kind of edge it would hold.
and - how it would work in a wrist sheath.
You carry a politically correct knife along with your everyday one just so you don't scare the natives.
Someone says "hey get a grip" and you think G-10.
One of your legs and one of your arms is hairless (I can take a hint).
You see an ax and think of shaving.
You have Kydex sheaths for your steak knives.
You hold a ball point pen and think penetration.
You pick out a letter opener. Mmm - carbon or stainless? Serrated or straight?
Your favorite fork has a lanyard loop.
You show up at deer camp with more knives than ammunition.
Everyone at hunting camp wants to borrow your knives cause theirs won't even cut butter.
You go to your stand still carrying more knives than ammo.
When you go to skin and butcher your deer you bring at least a half dozen knives and at least three different types of sharpeners.
You're the only one at camp who knows what steel his blades are made of.
You're the only one that doesn't choke when someone says he paid more than $25 for their knife.
You cut open a box at work with your pocketknife and promptly get the nickname "Soldier of Fortune".
You have all your pants and knives matched for comfort of carry.
> If you can recite from memory the laws on knife carry in the 50 states, 12
> Canadian Provinces, Commonwealth of Puerto Rico and Marianna Islands
You're sad that you don't fit that quote, but think "but at least I'm working on it".
You actually have to check the knife laws of travel destinations.
The first time you seriously consider travelling to France is because there's a knife show there.
You add to the "you might be a knife nut" thread because it seems like a way to justify and confess to your own quirks.
Your girlfriend travels 14,000 miles to Korea and asks what you want her to buy for you, and you say "a traditional knife".
The reading material in the family bathroom includes a Benchmade catalog. (Heck, that plus several AG Russells, Atlantic Cutlery, Smoky Mt. Come to
think of it, there isn't any reading material that ISN'T knife related!)
Your paring knives are all folders.
You've ever been asked by your significant other just WHAT do you need another knife for........and your reply is to ask, given that she (he?) only has two ears, just why does she need more than one pair of earrings.
Somebody asks, "Anybody have a knife?" and the whole group looks over at you knowingly and snickers (or takes a few steps back).
You started a whole &^%%&^ business so you could get more cool knife toys.
You have so many knives that there's more than one in every room of your house (bathrooms included).
You have trouble packing the "right" knives for some trip.
You need to carry several of them simultaneously so that your whole collection gets used.
You have so many similar looking models that you need to unsheath them or open them so that you can see if this is the 60% serrated, 50% serrated, plain, chisel point, etc. model that you were looking for.
You like to play with your AFCK anytime you're standing still with nothing else to do.
You started buying knives that cost more than some guns you've owned.
$(fill in number) is no longer "too much" for a knife.
When somebody says "do you have a knife" your reply is "Well, I'm here aren't I?!!"
...or you reply "which one do you want?"
Your knife is out of your pocket and open before someone can finish asking, "Anyone got a knife?"
Your shovels are sharper than most people's steak knives.
You've ever shaved with your favorite folder because you forgot your razor.
You've ever shaved with your favorite folder just because you could!
You wore a sheath knife with a suit,(Theresa is still mad about that.)
Every catalog has strips cut into it as you have not had any hair on your arms for years.
Your monthly budget has a category for knives.
You tried superglue on cuts.
Nobody will ask you what you want for gifts.
Your wife gasps it is so big, but she is not talking about lil'elvis.
There are one or more drawers full of knives in your kitchen, and your bedroom.
You keep a diving-knife-on-a-rope hanging in your shower for shaving, slicing off soap chips, removing lime scale, etc.
Your email sig file reads "Have a knife day!"
You have a keyboard macro that automatically converts "bm" to "Benchmade".
You have two copies each of the last six months of Blade, Knives Illustrated, and Tactical Knives because you subscribe to each of them but the new issues always show up at the newstands before they come in the mail.
You pay for half of each of your knife purchases with cash you hoarded from your lunch allowance so your wife won't find out how much they cost when she sees the credit card statement.
You go hunting during rifle season, even though you think the odds are greater that you will be shot than that you will shoot a deer, to justify buying a new hunter every year.
If you ever fall into water over your head while fully clothed, you will have to toss away some knives to keep from sinking like a rock.
The only illegal contraband you have ever transported is an automatic knife.
You play with your AFCK all the time, whether you are doing something else or not. You are an expert at typing and driving with either hand.
(Thanks to mrb@bitstream.net for starting this thread, and the many rec.knives folks who contributed.)
http://www2.rpa.net/~ctdonath/KnifeNutIf.htm
I'll stop now.
