You People Are All Nutso

James_Terrio

James_Terrio

Joined
Oct 6, 2008
Messages
4,076
...and I like it!

I just wanna say, I have had my share of humble pie handed to me lately, though not always directly. I got the massage, though... I mean message. I've damn sure had some knowledge bestowed upon my silly Northren ass, whether I realized it or not. And I've got the bruises to prove it. Regardless, y'all have made me chuckle one heck of a lot.

Not namin' names, you crazy bastards know who you are... but thanks for putting up with me and putting me in my place when needed. Will Left-Turn, Nick Whirler and IG especially... oops, I went and named names.

And by the way, FORGET YOU ALL, yer just jealous of my super-duper CIA/alien-defeating stainless-foil-lined hand-fitted sideways-stayin'-on Viking helmet! Don't think I don't know it :D I'll be taking orders soon, be prepared to pay a HEAVY price.

Really though, any one of you blade-makin' lunatics has a coffee/beer/cup of STFU comin' on me, anytime yer up in my neck of the woods (God's country). (Yes, Nathan, that's directed at you, ya scurvy Texas rebel... y'all lost, remember? ;) )

Especially Indian George; I got a special treat lined up for that smelly sumbiscuit, to pay him back for the face-melting "hot ain't the word for it" sauce he sent me a couple years ago. Us 'Sconsin boys don't forget a "favor".

P.S. I want more of that HT sauce, MR. Mean Ole Buzzard. Please?

Y'all's pal, J. Turkey
 
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Dude just one thing never, ever, say "you people"! Holy smokes I can be a real tool on the forums but that is one mistake I will never make again.
 
grease-man said:
And now a word from our sponsor! :D
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Are you trying to imply that I'm drunk on Bud Light?!? You sir, are mistaken! :grumpy:

I'm drunk on Busch Light. And Evan Williams. So there! :D

steelshaper said:
Dude just one thing never, ever, say "you people"! Holy smokes I can be a real tool on the forums but that is one mistake I will never make again.
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Point taken. I fixed it. Happy now? ;) (Well, I tried to... for goodness sakes... I certainly didn't mean to offend you people... whoever you are)

I heard Nick Whirler is left-handed. I don't hold that against him, though. I'm still waiting to see the pic of him in his tutu. :D

I almost went to the mods and asked them how to change the title of this thread... so as not to offend anyone... but fuck it, it's too late...
 
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James_Terrio said:
...and I like it!
Not namin' names, you crazy bastards know who you are... but thanks for putting up with me and putting me in my place when needed. Will Left-Turn, Nick Whirler and IG especially... oops, I went and named names.

And by the way, FORGET YOU ALL, yer just jealous of my super-duper CIA/alien-defeating stainless-foil-lined hand-fitted sideways-stayin'-on Viking helmet! Don't think I don't know it :D I'll be taking orders soon, be prepared to pay a HEAVY price.

Really though, any one of you blade-makin' lunatics has a coffee/beer/cup of STFU comin' on me, anytime yer up in my neck of the woods (God's country). (Yes, Nathan, that's directed at you, ya scurvy Texas rebel... y'all lost, remember? ;) )

Especially Indian George; I got a special treat lined up for that smelly sumbiscuit, to pay him back for the face-melting "hot ain't the word for it" sauce he sent me a couple years ago. Us 'Sconsin boys don't forget a "favor".

P.S. I want more of that HT sauce, MR. Mean Ole Buzzard. Please?

Y'all's pal, J. Turkey
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Now!!!! J. Turkey!!! and I do mean TURKEY!!!!!!HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!
I am the nicest guy on the godforsaken forum:confused::eek::p
My HT'g Relish you will have to wait till the end on this years growing season. Unless you know somebody down south that can pickup some Habenaros peppers. I just pickup a new smoker last week and it works great ask The BBBB Beaver. He pigged out here on Saturday. I made up marinated fresh pork shoulder and chicken legs with Portagee style rice.:thumbup:
I think I am going to go with the shoulder for lunch at the Hammer-In.
 
James_Terrio said:
Point taken. I fixed it. Happy now? ;) (Well, I tried to... for goodness sakes... I certainly didn't mean to offend you people... whoever you are)

I almost went to the mods and asked them how to change the title of this thread... so as not to offend anyone... but fuck it, it's too late...
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I was just messin with ya. I guess I should have thrown in one or two of these:grumpy::o:D:D

As far as I am concerned you can say you people all you want.

like
You people with your crazy foil lined hats and sharp pointy things.:eek:
 
grease-man, glad we got that cleared up :D

indian george said:
I am the nicest guy on the godforsaken forum:confused::eek::p
My HT'g Relish you will have to wait till the end on this years growing season.
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No one said you weren't the nicest guy around! Well, some folks did, but it wasn't me. I'll start practicing to get ready for next year's HT relish by gargling napalm and chewing on my old socks. Looking forward to it! :D I wrote a review of your relish, but it's too long and full of cuss-words to post here... besides, words don't really do it justice. It's kind of like getting shot, you just have to experience it to understand... :eek:

panch0 said:
We let yall win!!!!!! Cause it was taking time away from our fiestas.
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Did you mean siestas? I heard folks down there nap a lot :confused:

steelshaper said:
You people with your crazy foil lined hats and sharp pointy things.:eek:
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See, I knew you were jealous ;)
 
This enmity we have between American brothers makes my stomach darken as though covered my a leaden umbrella. :( Please, let us revel in our national unity, and instead poke folly at the deserved party in all things: the French.


Darn French. :grumpy: ;)

--nathan
 
James_Terrio said:
No one said you weren't the nicest guy around! Well, some folks did, but it wasn't me. I'll start practicing to get ready for next year's HT relish by gargling napalm and chewing on my old socks. Looking forward to it! :D I wrote a review of your relish, but it's too long and full of cuss-words to post here... besides, words don't really do it justice. It's kind of like getting shot, you just have to experience it to understand... :eek:;)
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Just got a PM from a member and he is trying to get me some peppers in Southern Texas.:thumbup: :cool: The problem is that I usually mix a milder pepper in the relish (Portagee Reds).:confused:So if you thought the last batch you got was hot wait on this one. Fire in the Holes, the one going in and especially the one going out. HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!
 
silver_pilate said:
Please, let us revel in our national unity, and instead poke folly at the deserved party in all things: the French.
Darn French. :grumpy: ;)
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OK, I'll agree to the truce.

Saw this in the paper: For Sale... one French Army rifle. Never fired, only dropped once!

Can't wait, IG! I may have to plant some peppers this year. I grew some serranos once that were purty good. Oh, what the heck... I'm posting that review.
 
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I tell you what, Indian George's Heat-Treating "relish" really did just about burn my damn face off. He "warned" me that it was made of jalapenos, habaneros, and some mysterious Portugese concoction that no English-speaking-person would ever fully understand. In my infinite ignorance, I assumed it was something resembling hot sauce.

Gawd help me... I volunteered to try some.

So he sent me a sample. For free... that should have been my first clue. It had sort of a, well, violent aroma, but I'm braver than I am smart, so one night I put some in my burrito.

Goodness knows what kind of patina that stuff would put on any particular steel! I suspect 1084 would just plain melt, and even highly-alloyed steels like CPM154 would probably warp or turn green or something. Only controlled, scientific testing will tell for sure. Perhaps Kevin Cashen could weigh in on this? Then again, his high-temp salt pots are like a mere tea kettle compared to a bowl of Indian George's Heat-Treat relish, so who knows?

Mind you, I only put a teaspoon of that horrific, chunky liquid madness called a "sauce" in my burrito. It really did taste wonderful, until the invisible flames started eating away at my lips and tongue. I needed a shave before I had supper that fateful night, but not after. If I had had the guts to light a smoke, I wouldn't have needed a lighter. Then again, if I had lit a smoke, I likely wouldn't have needed a haircut for a decade or so.

No amount of beer or sour cream quelled the voracious hellfire inside my skull; I assure you, I tried plenty of both. With a spoon.

My memory of this napalm-nightmare is a bit foggy, but I seem to recall slathering whole milk and sour cream all over my face... it didn't help. I vaguely remember wondering if the Geneva Convention had rules against this sort of thing.

My darling daughter laughed at me wildly, as my tortured body squirted toxic sweat from every pore, and I trembled madly and my face turned unnatural colors. She wisely declined to try a bite of the infernal burrito. Wisdom from the mouths of babes, indeed.

I'm fairly certain I lost five or more pounds just sitting there. Soon, I was no
longer just sweating; it was more like sublimating precious bodily fluids directly into the atmosphere. And it was much more painful than it sounds.

Apparently, IG's HT relish is the perfect antidote for drunkenness, because no matter how much beer I drank, the pain wouldn't go away. Good strong whiskey tasted like liquid air and had no effect at all. Being a stout and strong-willed Viking-helmeted sort of character, I tried my best anyway, and drank admirably.

To no avail; the ravaging effects of this hellacious potion mocked my valiant
efforts and reduced me to a blithering mass of weakened, charred, whimpering flesh.

My girlfriend (at the time) thought this was all quite hilarious until I smooched her a couple hours later, and she began to literally weep because the relish residue on my lips burned her so badly. Serves her right...

I slept on the couch that night... at least I assume so, because I woke up in the fetal position next to it. Some kind soul had left a fire-extinguisher within reach, just in case. Spontaneous human combustion is no joke, people!

I must say, I wasn't hung-over one bit the next day, as far as I can recall. It's difficult to remember, though... everything's kind of bleary. I do have nightmarish memories of violent, fiery expulsions from... well... there's no need to describe that horror in polite company.

Oddly enough, I really do want more of that relish. It tasted AWESOME. I think IG is the Devil or something...

-JT
 
Hopefully when the next batch of HT relish comes out I can get some. I have yet to taste any of this Mythical substance (must be similar to Wootz).
 
oh, crap.
 
oldrifleman said:
I have yet to taste any of this Mythical substance (must be similar to Wootz).
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When you taste it, you'll go "WOOT!!" :eek:

silver_pilate said:
Don't worry, Lorien. French Canadians are alright in my book!
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*whew* my (adopted) Dad was French Canadian. I think the name was originally spelled Theriault or something like that. I know I know... a Viking with a French name that looks Italian (the spelling, not me)... no wonder I'm so confuzzled all the time...
 
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