1000th post giveaway!

lazerboy2000

lazerboy2000

Joined
Mar 3, 2008
Messages
1,341
Alright folks, I've finally hit my 1000th post so its about damn time I return all the kind gestures and karma that's been given to me.

The rules are simple but if you don't follow them, you're OUT.

Sorry, this is limited to Rat Pack members only. Must be legally allowed to possess a knife. I take no responsibility once it leaves my hands. Sorry, CONUS only.

This contest will end on Dec. 15th and I will randomly pick a RP number.

I like to consider the RP a group of my brothers and sisters and it's always a pleasure talking with you guys and getting to know everybody. I think I'd like to extend this a bit further by asking a few simple questions for this "contest" to get to know everybody. I figure this should be fun, unusual, and easy way to run this.

He who would seek the prize must answer me these questions three.
1) What is your favorite drink? (alcoholic or non-alcoholic)
2) What is your favorite song or artist?
3) Tell your favorite joke. No dead baby jokes :barf: but most anything else is fair game.


Also be sure to include your RAT PACK number!

The prizes!
A Gerber AR 3.5 and Spyderco Byrd Cara Cara. Both have been used but are in great shape with tons of life left. The Gerber does not have a belt clip but I have a belt sheath I can include.

DSC06189.jpg
 
Congrats on reaching 1k. Many thanks for the giveaway.::):

1. Favorite drink: really good espresso, if you haven't had a perfect shot, it doesn't make sense
2. Favorite artist: Slim Cessna's Auto Club, especially "mark of vaccination"
3. Joke: two muffins are sitting in to oven, baking. One muffin turns to the other and says:
"is it hot in here or what?"

The other muffin turns and responds:








OH MY GOD, A TALKING MUFFIN

Cheesy I know, but you don't want to know about sven and his two assholes.

RP#390
 
Last edited:
Favorite Drink: MGD 64 tastes great and has very low calories and carbs, so I can have a couple extras.

Favorite Artist: The Rolling Stones I've seen them live and they put on a great show, plus they have enough music to listen to for a year.

Favorite Joke:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.

Rat Pack #117
 
Favorite Drink: Jack and water
Favorite Artist: Pink Floyd (telling my age here)
Favorite Joke: Ear Infection

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's reception why you
are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're going to lose!

RP#187
 
1) What is your favorite drink? Pabst Blue Ribbon
2) What is your favorite song or artist? One by Metallica
3) Tell your favorite joke.
A tired old trucker stops in at bar in the middle of nowhere. He asks the bartender if there is somewhere he could go to get layed. The bartender says, "we don't have any women in this town." The trucker looks sad. Then the bartender says, "We do have a barrel out back with a hole in it that you get your jollies off with." The trucker says no. But as the night goes on the trucker gets more drunk & horny. Finally the trucker says ok & walks out back to find the barrel. He start real slow but soon he's just slamming the barrel as hard as he can. After he's done he comes staggering back into the bar. The trucker says, "Man that is the best sex I've ever had. I'm going to do that everynight." The bartender looks up & says, "every night except Friday, that's your night in the barrel."

RP# 400
 
Grats on the 1k posts :) Thanks for the oppurtunity!

1) A good pour of Guinness (which is getting harder and harder to find nowadays) or Beef Eater and Tonic

2) Led Zeppelin

3) This one always gives me a little giggle. A little male chauvinism never hurt anyone :p
How do you fix your wife's watch?
You don't, there's a clock on the stove.

RP# 388
 
Last edited:
What a nice gesture! This does have to be one of the greatest forums on the web!

1) What is your favorite drink? (alcoholic or non-alcoholic)

New Belgium Brewing companies.... 1554

2) What is your favorite song or artist?

AC/DC Sin City

3) Tell your favorite joke. No dead baby jokes but most anything else is fair game.

A German guy asks a fella in the bar....."Whats a fella in a boat fishing have in common with Domestic Beer"? Guy says...I don't know.....German guy replies.... "there both (close) to water".

Thanks again for the contest offer!

RP #415
 
1) Favorite Drink--a good bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape (but being a poor college student I don't have it often!)
2) Favorite Artist--I can't narrow it down to one, but my present favorite is Sea Wolf (though my favorite non-musical artist is Franz Marc)
3) Favorite Joke:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
bullet

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
bullet

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
bullet

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
bullet

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
bullet

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
:D

RAT Pack #6
 
1) What is your favorite drink? (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) - Crown Royal and Coke
2) What is your favorite song or artist? Slayer!
3) Tell your favorite joke. No dead baby jokes but most anything else is fair game.

Why do squirrels lay on their bellies?
.
.
.
To keep their nuts warm. :D

Also be sure to include your RAT PACK number!

RP#302

Thanks for the kind gesture. Great questions too! :)
 
1) Favorite Drink--A nice tall vodka tonic
2) Favorite Artist--Eric Clapton
3) Favorite Joke:

Cowboy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says,
"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."
The wife, laying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
"If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."
The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch,
you'd realize I was talking to the sheep."

Rat Pack #233
 
Congrats on the 1k brotha. I'll jump into this one. RP#13

He who would seek the prize must answer me these questions three.
1) What is your favorite drink? (alcoholic or non-alcoholic)
2) What is your favorite song or artist?
3) Tell your favorite joke. No dead baby jokes but most anything else is fair game.
Click to expand...

My favorite alcoholic drink is Glenlivet. Any of them will do. Hard to go wrong with that one. It must be straight up, no ice.

My favorite song is "In My Time of Dying" by Led Zeppelin. It reminds me of my brother, God rest his soul.

Favorite joke:
Why is poop tapered on the end?...
So your butthole doesn't slam shut.
 
Favorite Drink: Newcastle Brown Ale
Favorite Artist: Grateful Dead
Favorite Joke:
obamasnakeoil180.jpg


RP# 366
 
Congrats on 1000...

1. Alcoholic - Miller Lite would be my brand, but I'll gladly drink any beer that's cold and free! Non-alcoholic - probably egg nogg, every year I watch the dairy section for it to make its holiday return to the shelves.

2. Tough call, probably Toby Keith - Country Comes To Town

3. Before leaving on a remote hunting trip, the guide asks the hunter "Would you tell anyone if you woke up in the morning with a sore butt hole and vaseline slathered all over your butt?"

The hunter thought for a moment and answered "No way!"

The guide reponded "Good, you ready to go hunting?"
 
Favorite Drink: Nothing beats iced tea for me, favorite beer is Corona
Favorite Song: Tough, but “Old Man” by Neil Young is way up there.
Joke: Maybe not my favorite but it’s been in my head lately…

Pirate with a ship wheel in his pants walks up to a bar.
The bartender says “Hey buddy, do you realize you have a ship wheel in your pants?”
Pirate says “Arrrghhh, it’s drivin’ me nuts!”


RP # 367
 
1. Van Winkle 15 year-old bourbon. Great stuff. For non-alcoholic beverages, sweet tea for sure.

2. Porcupine Tree

3. I hang out with a lot of engineering students, so...

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
 
adaman04 said:
Pirate with a ship wheel in his pants walks up to a bar.
The bartender says ``Hey buddy, do you realize you have a ship wheel in your pants?``
Pirate says ``Arrrghhh, it`s drivin` me nuts!``
Click to expand...

Damn that was my joke!

Drink-Fat Tire(you people from west of Mississippi know what it is).
Song hard to say to many to choose but I'd have to say Before I forget by slipknot

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interupting cow!

Inerupting.....

Moooooooo!!!!!
 
Favorite drink: Fat Tire Amber Ale
Favorite artist: U2
Favorite joke:
Four nuns are awaiting entry into the Pearly Gates.
The first steps forward and says "forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have looked upon a man's penis".
St Peter replies: "A minor transgression, Sister, say 3 Hail Marys, sprinkle your eyes with this Holy Water, and you may then enter."
The second nun steps forward to confess "Forgive me Father, for I too have sinned. I have touched a man's penis."
St. Peter replies: "A more serious sin, for sure, but give me 5 Hail Marys, wash your hands with this Holy Water, and you too shall enter."
Now St. Peter notices that Nun #3 and Nun #4 are squabbling, loudly, so he asks "Sisters, what is it that troubles you?"
Nun #4, pointing at Nun #3, responds: "Father, I'll be damned if I'm going to drink that Holy Water after she washes her a$$ in it!"

KD
 
RP# 244

1. Favorite drink is sweet tea
2. Favorite artist or song is Steve Earle
3. Favorite joke:

---- What does a dog do with no back legs???









---he hauls ass
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top