Ren the devils trailboss said:
Tool ...
Its because five year olds...drain the energy from our veins while we are sleeping...
Ren
My theory (and no one's yet disproven it) is this:
Each child, as they form in the womb, is equipped with not one, but TWO umbilical cords. There is the first, which supplies blood and nutrients, etc., to the fetus. The second, however, is an intangible, 'spiritual' cord which extends not only to the mother, but also to the father. Its purpose is to carry psychic energy and power (Love and other emotions) to the developing infant. This is the source of all those 'sympathy pains' that Dads get during labour.
Now, given the intangible (and thus, invisible) nature of the second umbilical cord, it never gets cut during delivery--instead being left to wither of its own volition. Because it sees outflow even after delivery, it withers very slowly. This is why most parents are loathe to leave their children when they are very young...obviously, the cord is only so long. Parents who return to work too soon after childbirth often report feelings of anxiety and an inability to concentrate on anything but the newborn.
This second umbilical theory also explains why children have boundless energy, and parents have none. They are, in fact, siphoning it off from you--not only while you sleep, but during the waking hours as well.
Of course, the next step will be the introduction of hi-capacity, "assault" children. And after that, escalation will demand fully-automatic, military-style children (who, need I mention, can have no sporting use for hunting). I therefore propose a ban. If children are outlawed, only outlaws will bear children. Won't someone please think of the grownups?!?
