A Christmas sheeple story

J

jh205

Joined
Aug 21, 2006
Messages
553
Thought you guys might be interested in hearing my sheeple related Christmas experience.

I'm Jewish so I don't normally do much Christmas gift giving, but this year there was a Kris Kringle at my work so I thought what the heck, might as well be in it. I had to buy something for this guy in our office who is severely deaf. He's a lovely guy but he's also really soft and basically a bit of a wimp, so I thought I'd get him something outdoorsy in the hope of maybe encouraging him to get out there and toughen up a bit. A decent knife was the obvious choice of gift, but you've got to remember that this is in an office completely populated by sheeple, so fixed blades, large folders etc were out of the question. I figured I'd start him with a basic SAK, so gave him a Vic Tinker (with stayglow scales).

Well, everyone opens their presents and my guy looks pretty pleased with what he got. However, he was really struggling to get the tools open - basically being somewhat clumsy with the thing. I was then quite dismayed to see that the guy was unable to actually close the main blade, due to being clumsy. I thought to myself "ok, he's new to this, just give him a minute and he'll figure it out without a problem."

I'd only just had this thought when this loud obnoxious woman turned to him, announced, "you're doing it the wrong way!" and took the knife out of his hand and was about to press her fingers into the sharp edge of the blade. I instinctively said "no, no, no, give it to me", whereupon this lady turned and thrust the open bladed knife straight towards me. Again instinctively, I pulled my outstreched arm out of the way, grabbed her arm with my other hand and quickly took the thing out of her hand.

So within two minutes of giving this gift a coworker had nearly sliced her fingers open and I'd come very close to being stabbed in the arm. On reflection, I have drawn two lessons from this: the first is that Jews shouldn't give Christmas presents, and the second is that knives should never, ever be given to sheeple.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and a safe and prosperous 2009 to all W&S posters.
 
Perhaps an educational pamphlet explaining in the use of knives is in order. You know, just for this sort of situation. You give 'em a knife and a pamphlet; nothing too "For Dummies" but getting the point across.

Or you could educate them the old fashioned way, but from my experience that comes off as a bit.. condescending. Just my cent and a half.

Oh and happy Honnukah and merry Christmas and all that new year jazz too.
 
Next time give a spork, if he proves he can handle that then maybe just maybe he'll be able to handle a SAK one day.
 
Unfortunately this all seems quite likely. At least people still have day to day experiences with fixed blades (i.e. kitchen knives). Folders come with all kinds of little learning experiences, particularly locking folders.

The instructional pamphlet struck a funny chord in me. This year I went out to a conference in Tampa Bay and they were handing out these plastic mugs for use in the coffee and nightly social beer breaks. The reusable travel cups were the attempts to go green. Anyhow the coffee cup had instructions in it. First the usual warnings like:

"Caution! May contain hot liquids. "

But we got a real kick out of one set of instructions. This of course was a science convention so we all probably needed this one.

"With liquids, do not overfill the capacity of the cup"

Needless to say, few people actually heeded the second critical instruction, particularly with the beer.
 
Sad and kinda funny. Funny only because it reminds me of one of my co-workers. He's an avid fly fisherman, enjoys shooting, and canoeing. Probably due to a bad experience, he is deathly afraid of folding knives. Won't even hold one if its closed.

I pulled a slipjoint out of my pocket one day as he was trying to open a box with a pen and he actually stepped back with a look like it was going to jump at him. :eek:
 
RoyalM said:
Next time give a spork, if he proves he can handle that then maybe just maybe he'll be able to handle a SAK one day.
Click to expand...

LMFAO

Maybe even a spoon to start...

It was a nice thought and it's a shame that there's people that dumb in the world.

That sounds like the idiot in my office that will bring a friggin' loaf of bread in for food day and knife to cut it with. "I can't bring a knife to work someone could stab someone" UGH - I wish he'd stab himself...

People crack me up, man.

Keep giving gifts!
 
Rupestris said:
Sad and kinda funny. Funny only because it reminds me of one of my co-workers. He's an avid fly fisherman, enjoys shooting, and canoeing. Probably due to a bad experience, he is deathly afraid of folding knives. Won't even hold one if its closed.

I pulled a slipjoint out of my pocket one day as he was trying to open a box with a pen and he actually stepped back with a look like it was going to jump at him. :eek:
Click to expand...

Sadly, I'm admittedly a bit that way. I really am a fixed bladed guy. Now its not like I'm afraid of folders and such. But I think everyone has to agree that opening up an unfamiliar folder or closing a locking folder for the first time is always a learning experience of some type. Even a SAK sort of takes you aback when the spring kicks in either on the opening or the closing.

Maybe that is why I appreciate the opinel so much. No surprises at all!

Thoughts from a completely non-folder guy.

Lock backs are always intuitive followed by framelocks. Everything else is fancy-dancy. Thumb holes are immediately intuitive to use. Thumbstuds and discs take practice to open up. I really wish somebody would post a video or diagrams demonstrating how waved knives operate. I know they are supposed to open up while lifting it out of your pocket but I can't understand the principle. The hook on the wave is forward placed, what does it catch on to open it up? Please somebody educate me :)

Comical story though, well before I was a knife nut. I actually bought a Spyderco delica and didn't really receive any instruction in it. Again the lock back was intuitive. I loved the VG10 and was amazed at how well it held its edge. When it lost its edge, I wasn't able to get it back. My first impression on the spyderhole was - this is a pretty dumb place to put a keychain ring attachment :D I have to admit, that in the time I had that first delica (about 5 mo before I lost it in a tobogganing incident), I never actually figured out that the spyderhole was for one-handed opening operation. This was during the time I was working on my PhD. So I am a bit dense (in brain cells :) with a head that looks like a boil ;)) and I just wanted to let it be known out there that folders are in fact complicated and not necessarily intuitive.

Now we have youtube with demonstration videos and such. Of course, there are as many videos demonstrating the wrong way to do things as there are ones demonstrating the right way. Sometimes I wish they would have 'peer-review' youtube :D :D At the very least Spyderco and benchmade should sanction instructional videos on their websites. It might help. Then there is bladeforums, but this place should remain secret owing to its corruptive influence on consumer patterns.
 
What I've done in giving SAKs is act like a total dweeb (OK, no acting required) and grabbed it, acting all excited and said "Look at all this stuff!" as I'm opening all the tools. If it's a locking SAK I say "Now this is different than SAKs that you're probably used to, just slide this. . .and it closes. Now neat is that!?"

Yeah, makes me look like a schmuck, but I don't have to give the guy I gave the knife to a trip to the ER, nor do I have stabbings attempted on me. :D
 
jh205 said:
On reflection, I have drawn two lessons from this: the first is that Jews shouldn't give Christmas presents, and the second is that knives should never, ever be given to sheeple.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and a safe and prosperous 2009 to all W&S posters.
Click to expand...

I give books. :D
 
RoyalM said:
Next time give a spork, if he proves he can handle that then maybe just maybe he'll be able to handle a SAK one day.
Click to expand...

Ha, great story, thanks for sharing:D My wife teaches 8th Grade, and most the teachers are metrosexuals or urban divas and they are always harassing her about her hobbies of hiking/backpacking, rockclimbing, shooting, etc., BUT, they really like her little Spork...so she did several little Christmas gift bags for the teachers on her team and put a Light My Fire Spork in each one. We'll see how many end up stabbing themselves with the fork side or poke an eye out with the spoon side :eek::D

ROCK6
 
ROCK6 said:
We'll see how many end up stabbing themselves with the fork side or poke an eye out with the spoon side :eek::D

ROCK6
Click to expand...

In the realm of possibilities, I think that you can only carve an eye out with the spoon side. I could be wrong however :D
 
Funny(& a little sad) story jh205:D:thumbup:

I live in central NJ & I work out of a major train station,driving a taxi.Whenever I get a new folder,I usually proudly show it off to the other cabbies.Sometimes I let them hold it.It depends on who they are.
Anyway...They all handle it like a two year old,can never close it,& almost always cut themselves.This is after I show them how the lock works & tell them "IT IS RAZOR SHARP,BE CAREFUL!"
I give up.Sometimes I feel like the only guy in NJ who's into knives.

Oh yea,another thing is they always refer to it as a weapon and nothing else,no matter what type of knife it is...WTF??!!
 
I'd like to get to one of those meetings too.
As for the story, the thing that sticks out to me is the TOTAL LAMENESS (is that a phrase?) of people around the humble pocketknife. Man, if you can't maneuver yourself around a knife, how far have you slipped into the technological abyss?
 
jh205 said:
Thought you guys might be interested in hearing my sheeple related Christmas experience.

I'm Jewish so I don't normally do much Christmas gift giving, but this year there was a Kris Kringle at my work so I thought what the heck, might as well be in it. I had to buy something for this guy in our office who is severely deaf. He's a lovely guy but he's also really soft and basically a bit of a wimp, so I thought I'd get him something outdoorsy in the hope of maybe encouraging him to get out there and toughen up a bit. A decent knife was the obvious choice of gift, but you've got to remember that this is in an office completely populated by sheeple, so fixed blades, large folders etc were out of the question. I figured I'd start him with a basic SAK, so gave him a Vic Tinker (with stayglow scales).

Well, everyone opens their presents and my guy looks pretty pleased with what he got. However, he was really struggling to get the tools open - basically being somewhat clumsy with the thing. I was then quite dismayed to see that the guy was unable to actually close the main blade, due to being clumsy. I thought to myself "ok, he's new to this, just give him a minute and he'll figure it out without a problem."

I'd only just had this thought when this loud obnoxious woman turned to him, announced, "you're doing it the wrong way!" and took the knife out of his hand and was about to press her fingers into the sharp edge of the blade. I instinctively said "no, no, no, give it to me", whereupon this lady turned and thrust the open bladed knife straight towards me. Again instinctively, I pulled my outstreched arm out of the way, grabbed her arm with my other hand and quickly took the thing out of her hand.

So within two minutes of giving this gift a coworker had nearly sliced her fingers open and I'd come very close to being stabbed in the arm. On reflection, I have drawn two lessons from this: the first is that Jews shouldn't give Christmas presents, and the second is that knives should never, ever be given to sheeple.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and a safe and prosperous 2009 to all W&S posters.
Click to expand...

LMAO. While I applaud the gift and the idea behind it, I see a lawsuit coming for his ER bill. Just wait for it. :p

Folders are a learned skill, and many just were never taught. My boy is four, and he's already learning. A couple of times now, I've let him cut something with his SAK which he only carries and uses with supervision (hiking or camping). He already knows to cut away from himself and to let me open/close the knife for now.
 
I have to admit that I have cut myself more on SAK's than any other folder. The blades are symmetrical so if you are not paying attention you can try to fold it the wrong way. Also they snap shut at the end and can nip your other hand if not careful.
 
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