Sounds like you've never really taken the time to "get comfortable" with your grinder. I'm not making a remark on your ability to grind, I know a lot of guys that produce great work, that are subconsciously, and quite obviously, afraid of their grinders. It's natural of course, and the machine can seriously hurt you if you don't respect it, but you've got to be casual with it IMO to really reach your full potential.
I accomplished this personally, by getting a big adjustable high chair/stool with a back, and spent a long time, up close, with both my knees riding on either side of the flat platen with a course belt flying at max speed, with earbuds in, listening to music, once I felt comfortable, I spent more time casually grinding, in no rush.
These days I use the stool less and less, just because it's a bit of a bear to setup for one-off grinding, but if I'm grinding a batch of blades, especially slipjoints, or doing fine finish work, I'll still pull it up.
I also teach beginners to practice "riding the flat" with just enough pressure to hold the blade on there once you've established one, that it won't really cut, until you're comfortable, and in the position you want to be in, then apply pressure only with the appropriate hand, and using the opposite to slide the blade in the X axis without any force applied. Using this technique you can get very consistent results, and apply spot pressure if necessary to fix minor issues or perform complicated transitions, but it's important to just feel comfortable, before you actually start trying to remove material.
A lot of guys I see grind just try to slap the blade in at the plunges and hog, like they're trying to tame a wild horse. Seems like they're always fighting their own grinds, and never really enjoy that part of the process.
Anyway, not sure if that'll help, but consider just spending some time at the grinder, with it running full bore, but not worried about "getting any work done". I think it'll help a lot.
FWIW, my main grinder is a Wilmont TAG-101 with a 3hp motor, a 6" rubber coated drive wheel, running the 2x jumper on the VFD, so full-tilt, is nothing to sneeze at, it demands respect certainly, but it's my machine, it's there to do the work I tell it to. That's my philosophy at least.