In my old workplace, we had a number of 22-35 year olds still at home.
Like someone earlier in this thread said, the times have indeed changed. Okay, so the kid is 18 and should/wants to move out. Looking at things realistically, the apartment here in Toronto today will run $1600 a month easy, $900 a month if you're lucky. And the prices ARE growing, and growing significantly, salaries do not keep up with it, between 2001-2002 the prices went up nearly 200%, but wages didn't. How many 18 year olds out of high school with no university/college education can swing that? Not that many. Roommates help, of course, but so many people get burned with deadbeat roommates (who won't pony up the money for utilities and groceries) or just end up living with, oh, let's just call it what it is, with thieving bastards.
Some are lucky roommate-wise, you go through high school with someone, you end up in the same college, you get a place together and that way it's someone you know instead of a complete stranger, but doesn't always work out this way, out of a group of about 10 friends by graduation, 2 went to Montreal, 2 went to York, 4 went to UofT, 1 went to Ryerson, 1 went to McMaster, and I honestly can't remember where the others were. Out of 4 at UofT 2 lived together for a bit, then one moved to her boyfriend's, and the remaining one was stuck with a cretin roommate for a year.
If the kid goes to college, graduates by 21-22, even with a part time job (which let's face it not all majors have time for, my younger brother graduated Engineering a few years ago, and he barely had time to lift his head from the books, and he's the smart one), you still leave looking at $15k loans that need to be paid off. Most university programs are 3-4 years, 4-5k a year tuition alone, plus supplies depending on the field.
So, here you have your 21 year old, with a part time or full time job (assuming they can find one in the right field of study right after graduation), and he's got the appartment expenses, utilities, which like I said even with roommates add up to a lot, and the $200+ per month loan payback ticking away from your account, and that's if he wants to pay if off in 10 years, if they want to pay it off faster and not pay so much more, it's a lot steeper still, you want to be free in 5 years, it'll be $380 per month.
Now, some lucky few will just walk into an interview a month after graduation, and get a job and stay there and advance through the ranks and be able to afford that single life in the city. But realistically speaking, out of 19 co-workers aged 22-35, mostly female and some male, we had 14 living at home. The job just didn't pay enough to live alone, it barely paid enough to live with one roommate and still be within 2 hrs trip from work. Not much choice.
One 31 year old still living at home got married. And she's been working full time since 22, when she graduated in fashion design, and she had enough saved by 31 so that she and her husband went and bought a house in the suburbs, sure, nearly 2 hrs commute to work, but at least it's their house, not an appartment, and no roommates going through their stuff.
Incidentally, what do you get if you pay for an appartment between 18 and 35? Nothing. You get a place to live for the duration, and that's it. Now, this other 28 year old I worked with stayed at home, obviously paid for a portion of utilities and did grocery shopping and a number of chores and stuff like that. But by 28 she had enough saved (since she didn't fork over $900 per month for the appartment + utilities) for a dowpayment on a house. A small house, true enough, but with a steady job, and reasonable mortgage, she moved out by 29 and she had a house, all to herself. Compare that to a 29 year old who moved out at 18, did a ping-pong between three dozen appartments and as many roommates, and by 29 has nothing but a very large stack of bills to show for it and a roommate who would stiff her on the electricity bill even though his TV was on day and night.
So, for someone like myself, the choice is pretty obvious. And yes, you as a parent should not (and must not) pay for everything. The student loan and car and whatever else are their problem, that's what the job is for. But moving out of the parent's place too soon is, while always doable, is not necessarily the smartest thing to do for someone just out of college. What my younger brother did was work, full time, but still live at home until he had enough in the bank to move out, and more importantly had time to find a good place. It was a sensible decision because his commute was cut from an hour and a half one way to 45 mins, cut in half, but I thought it was too soon, if he could hold out for 3-5 years, he could have paid off the loans completely and get a downpayment on his own place ready instead of renting until he's in his 30s, which is what he'll do now. Because the prices keep on growing, the house my parents got many years ago is now prices out of our reach if we tried to get it today. But as it is, he paid off most of his student loan in large lump sums, and now he's paying a heck of a lot less per month for the remainder than I did when I graduated.
All this is just my experience and observations. It depends on the kid of course, and on the general situation too. It varies a lot. The parents' house is a 2-storey with a lot spare room, whether he's there or not, they pay the same. So it made sense, financially speaking, to make use of that available room without it resulting in added expenses. So in general, I see many young people starting out on a much firmer footing when there's a set plan, but they have the support they need, a launch pad if you will, from home, to leave when they can afford it, and it's not financially crippling to do so. Example, you can afford to move in at 18, with a part time job, moving to a small place with a slew of roommates. But it's also financially crippling to do so. But they DO leave eventually, and when they do leave, they step from a firm foundation onto another firm foundation, which they could afford by minimizing the expenses earlier.
And of course, thinking ahead, as parents grow older the kids move back. Which is ironic, because so many rush out there, spend so much money just to live alone, and then 20-30 years later move right back in to take care of you.
Wow I rambled a lot. Anyway, that's just me. It varies a lot. The answer to the original question of when they should move out is "when they're ready". But at the same time they need to live in a real world and know how things work, it does neither of you any good to have someone on the couch until they're 30 and you do everything. But I've been lucky in that respect.
