Ahoy Mateys !

Kevin the grey · Apr 11, 2006

I has one for you here . What pirate movie is this from ?

" You have acute hearing . "

If ye can answer it blast ya you must come up with one to stump me and the rest of the Cantina crew .
(Oops a pirate should never say stump me . L:O:L

If ye can,t answer it you bilge swilling landlubber ye must give the crew a pirate joke . It must be a stump thumper or we,ll make ye walk the plank .

TomFetter · Apr 11, 2006

Sounds like a "Pirates of the Caribbean" line to me ...

t.

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Kevin the grey · Apr 11, 2006

TomFetter said:
Sounds like a "Pirates of the Caribbean" line to me ...

t.

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Tom You,ve chatred a false course into dangerous waters . Your crew is about to make you walk the plank . You have one way to redeem yourself .
That is to tell a pirate joke . As you are the first one to brave these uncharted waters I will also give a clue that may help you to get back your berth aboard ship . The line is not from a recent movie and in fact may be from before some of the crews sea duty . l
If no-one gets it I,ll give another line and have to tell a Pirate joke me ownself . Ahrrr Its a pirates life for me .

Persev · Apr 11, 2006

Treasure Island?

tedwca · Apr 11, 2006

Princess Bride

Kevin the grey · Apr 11, 2006

Ye lowly landlubbers will all be swabbing out the bilge with your tongues .
Ahrrr , " Princess Bride ! " I has a special gift just for the likes of ye .
Come morning we,ll be shaving you with a barnacle brush and giving you a saltwater rinse . One more wrong answer out of the likes of you and you,ll be taking a "Sea Wolf " bath . Ahrrr .

I,ve half a mind of putting you out of your misery now with the correct answer . Ahrrr The quote is from the film " Yellow Beard " It is proabably one of the funniest Pirate spoofs I has ever seen . You have to like Monty Python for they makes up a good part of the crew .
Since I has had to tell you the answer . You all owe one pirate joke or face the consequences . Any of you scurvy lot try to abandon ship and it will be considered a mutinous act . Ahrrr you don,t think its mutiny ? Just take it up with the ships lawyer . He,s up there swinging from the yardarm . That would be the third corpse from the left . Ahrrr . Ye has until tomorrow ye scurvy dogs . If ye don,t post a joke before I do its the brig for the lot of you .

cavetech · Apr 11, 2006

Kevin the grey said:
I has one for you here . What pirate movie is this from ?

" You have acute hearing . "

If ye can answer it blast ya you must come up with one to stump me and the rest of the Cantina crew .
(Oops a pirate should never say stump me . L:O:L

If ye can,t answer it you bilge swilling landlubber ye must give the crew a pirate joke . It must be a stump thumper or we,ll make ye walk the plank .

Actually I wear hearing aids, you scurvy knave!

(I'll bet I spelled that wrong. I don't speak or hear pirate very well)

TomFetter · Apr 12, 2006

I dunno about a pirate joke ... but how about a joke pirate?

Kevin the grey · Apr 12, 2006

TomFetter said:
I dunno about a pirate joke ... but how about a joke pirate?

Ahrr Tom thats a fine Pirate if I ever saw one . The little quacker doesn,t even need a ship .It can make sail under its own power .

I can just hear those merchant seaman quaking in fear when they spy the dreaded black duck coming over the horizon . Tom I,m promoting you to first mate . Your first duty will be to drag those other sea dogs from the brig and ready them to walk the plank . Oh I,d give me wooden leg for a brace of fighting ferrets to show those proseless miscreants to Davy jones locker . Ahrrr .
Ye have till eight bells or eight O,clock this evening whatever comes first to comes up with a worthy joke or its into the drink you go . I hear the sharks don,t come as quick if ye don,t struggle so to prove I,m merciful we,ll bind your arms behind your back .

Howard Wallace · Apr 12, 2006

I've spent some time on the high seas. I'll tell you, pirates are no joking matter. Best to watch where you're going with this thread.

I remember my Captain, the late Captain Hook. May the demons of hell have mercy on his soul. It was a gruesome death he died.

He got jock itch.

Kevin the grey · Apr 12, 2006

Ahrrr Howard . Yw had me going there fer a spell . First ye swept us with yer deck gun and then ye finished us off with a broadside cannonade . It seems to me we,s got our first mate Tom Fetter and now Howard has signed on as Bosun . Howard it is past time for those scurilous dogs to come up with their pirate joke . Tom has been sent below to prepare them for their doom . He,s reading to them from the Pirates Bible right now . Its actually a menu from a hooters so we,ve had to tone it down a bit . Howard ! Get ready the Cat O, nine tails to give them a taste of their final pennance . I wants an extra couple twists of lead on that whip to make sure the sharks know they are welcome . Ahrr .

Ahoy there , gather round . I don,ts have time to writes out me pirate joke right now So I.s going to leave you with a riddle .

Why was Captain Bligh always sailing into uncharted waters ?

Ahrr , he thought a Sextant was a bug with an active Libido .

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Waits a minute ye dogs . I never said it was a good riddle .Whens I gets some hammock time I,ll hit ye with my joke .

Persev · Apr 12, 2006

This thread reminds me of a little sea ditty I heard years ago, both entertaining and educational...

" The cabin boy, the cabin boy, the dirty little nipper. He lined his a** with broken glass and circumcised the skipper! "

Ahh, the high seas...

Josh Feltman · Apr 12, 2006

I have a rather poor pirate joke to fill the gap in the meantime. I hope it's not inappropriate for the Cantina.

A pirate walks into a bar, rather uncomfortably, for he has a large ship's wheel mounted to his crotch. The bartender asks, "Hey, buddy, what's with the wheel?" "Arrrrrrrrrrrrr," replies the pirate, "it's drivin' me nuts!"

cavetech · Apr 12, 2006

The most hated sea faring phrase....

"It's your turn in the barrel"

Kevin the grey · Apr 12, 2006

Careful me lads careful .We has to steer a course suitable for all sailors here . Youse got some great jokes there . We just don,t want our ship scuttled by That great ship of the line The "reluctant moderator "

It seems to me our list of vacant berths is filling up fast . Its a fine bunch of sea dogs we have here . Ahrrr

Josh thats a great joke .

kronckew · Apr 13, 2006

'the black duck'

sounds like a great name for a pub run by a retired sailor who has plied the waters of the Main....or the name of a pirate ship: oops - already been done

Linky

TomFetter · Apr 13, 2006

Twas a dark and stormy night. And the crew was gathered around the mainmast. The Captain said to the mate: Spin us a yarn. And the mate said ...

Twas a dark and stormy night. And the crew was gathered around the mainmast. The Captain said to the mate: Spin us a yarn. And the mate said ...

Twas a dark and stormy night. And the crew ...

Kevin the grey · Apr 13, 2006

Krockew blast ye . What does it matter to a pirate where the name of his ship came from ? I,ll sail the seven seas till I comes upon that literary craft and settle our similar differences . Ahrr We,ll scuttle that craft so,s her barnacles will be lower than Davy Jones locker .We,ll keep the best of her crew and the rest can dance their final jig on the plank of no return .

Bs:T:W: (Bys the way) I likes your pirate duck . You have only to add a peg leg and removes the offending appendage to have the picyure complete ! Ahrr

kronckew · Apr 13, 2006

AHRRRR!, me matey - If ye be wantin' me duckie's spare propper upper, ye'll have to come take 'er off wiff yer cannon as he'll not be takin' kindly ter the idea, he's down on the grinder now puttin' a finer edge on his 22" kobra in anticipation. he's already plannin' on what ter do wid' all them jools an stuff he'll get frum yer mangy crews carcasseseses. he's got poor ol' millie worked up into a right state awaitn' the sight of yer topgallants.

tis a dark and stormy night. and the crew.......

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CAVE CANEM ET SEMPER PARATUS
Dic, hospes Spartae nos te hic vidisse iacentes,
Dum sanctis patriae legibus obsequimur

If they don't want me to eat animals - why do they make them out of MEAT?

Kevin the grey · Apr 13, 2006

ighdhp[['lj5567i,,we9-;kuh . That is me laughing so hard I can,t type .

Just seeing that little nipper with those big nippers makes my cod-piece shrivel up tight .

I takes it then ye don,t wants to be part of the crew ? Too bad, too bad .
I had me heart set on a fine crew member and a worthy mascot . It is with a heavy heart I tell ye that when next we meet have your cannons primed and ready . No quarter will be asked or given .

Are ye sure you won,t come aboard ? I just spied your happy yellow pirates . We could use a man such as ye .You,ll be given first dip in the swill bucket each evening .