Any differences raising sons as opposed to daughters?

Hey Guys...

I Think Bernie Mac said it Best...

With boys,, you only have to worry about 1 Penis.
With girls, you have to worry about Everyone's Penis !!

I think that pretty much sums it up..

ttyle

Eric
O/ST
 
o ya forgot one of the other things, you need to buy a shotgun when hes born... so once hes old enough he gets to help you when your daughters go out on dates

-matt
 
Normark, that was very funny and frightening at the same time. I hadn't thought about it like that before. I guess I need to get a Class 3 license so I can tour their boyfriends around and show them full auto. Awhile back, someone had posted "rules for dating my daughter" on here and it was pretty funny. I will post it if I can find it.
 
Found it- I thought this was really good.

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

v
 
Hey Guys..

Jack..

Scary but true..
I've got a 7 year old girl...

I won't be a happy camper when my daughter dates..

My plan is to show her boyfriends my metal cutting saw and how easily it cuts through stuff !!

The "rules for dating my daughter" was written by our late Brother Vampire Gerbil RIP..
As far as I'm concerned, it is the Benchmark for dating daughters !!!

ttyle

Eric
O/ST
 
now the real question is how many here have gotten welcomes with a shotgun ever, cause i sure have and maybe it was the "father" was really the girls host father (exchange student, heck ya) and i already had met him and thought he was a little snooty and arrogant (yet i know better to not let him have any clue i thought that about him), but i really wish i had a concealed carry permit and was packing so i could have pulled mine out and gone "ok now we're even" just as a f.u. to him.

i am respectful to parents and i have never had a girls dad not come on warmly to me really but this guy was just the "i have money, im better than you" attitude. so yeah.

gota keep that balance between respect and friendliness cause once the kid fears you its down hill.

-matt
 
I remember picking up a girl and meeting her Dad for the first time. She and I were both 18 at the time- then under the legal age to drink. He sat me down and pretended to be my friend, and just yukked it up with me while my date was getting ready. He then went and got himself a beer and casually asked me, "Can I get you a beer?" "SURE!", I eagerly replied, thinking this was the coolest Dad I had ever met. He looked at me with eyes that went right through me and said, "Wrong answer." Ooooh, Shit. Her Mom came back in the room and asked if we were getting acquainted. Yes Maam, we are. I can remember being on my best behavior, and watching out for him from that point forward.



Contrast that with my wife's Dad, whom I now love to death- but not always. My wife and I got married after only 5 weeks of dating. She wasn't knocked up, we just figured "what the heck". The first time I met him, I stuck out my hand, introduced myself, and being the "take charge" kind of guy I am, I told him we were getting married. He only replied with five words- and they were without the comfort of my handshake being returned. "Who the fuck are you?" Years later, we now laugh about this, and he is the best Father in Law I could ask for. You would have to see him to appreciate the visual. He, at the time, was 6'7" and around 300 lbs. He played football for Michigan State and had a brief stint with the NFL. At the time, I really thought he may slice me up and serve me for lunch if I napped at my inlaws on a Sunday afternoon, and I couldn't fathom how my wife referred to him as anything loveable or "soft". She is his little girl, and now having girls of my own, I can understand his actions. As my girls enter into the age of being interested in boys, he has become a valuable resource. Even though he is now quite a bit older, and battling a terminal illness, part of me still believes he would whip my ass if I ever screwed up with his "little girl". I can only surmise that he did his job.
 
Make sure that boys get lots of rough and tumble to get rid of that excess energy and aggression that comes with the testesterone. I found my boy to be much happier when he got to have a big fight with his dad. He did better at school, less argumentative all round. I was black and blue though :)
 
Moff8 said:
Make sure that boys get lots of rough and tumble to get rid of that excess energy and aggression that comes with the testesterone. I found my boy to be much happier when he got to have a big fight with his dad. He did better at school, less argumentative all round. I was black and blue though :)
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i remember those good times, i would always wrestle with my dad (who was aleays 220-250ish at about 5'9" ish) and of course i would always end up getting hurt and crying but of course i never stopped. my mom never liked that i always got hurt but i really didnt care cause it wasnt like it hurt for more than the 5-10 mins at most. then he started to get to old and got to big not to hurt him so ya, it was great being little.

-matt
 
I have 2 girls. When the first one was born I told my wife we better have a second daughter. A boy will just throw a monkey wrench into whatever rhythm we had going with a girl. When daughter #2 was born I called it quits. I did not want to run the risk of a boy if we had a third kid. I only wanted 2 kids anyway. Sure, I will have more things to worry about with a girls but I've managed so far. I'm looking forward to the day the first boy comes calling. I will be sure to have my knives out on the coffee table and sharpening them.
 
Ken C. said:
I have 2 girls. When the first one was born I told my wife we better have a second daughter. A boy will just throw a monkey wrench into whatever rhythm we had going with a girl. When daughter #2 was born I called it quits. I did not want to run the risk of a boy if we had a third kid. I only wanted 2 kids anyway. Sure, I will have more things to worry about with a girls but I've managed so far. I'm looking forward to the day the first boy comes calling. I will be sure to have my knives out on the coffee table and sharpening them.
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and it would be funny if the kid knew which ones were which and could help you sharpen them

-matt
 
SR_matt said:
and it would be funny if the kid knew which ones were which and could help you sharpen them

-matt
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No Matt, that wouldn't be funny... that would be the sign of a potential son-in-law! Now, if the kid field strips and cleans your 1911 for ya... EVEN BETTER!
 
Mongo said:
No Matt, that wouldn't be funny... that would be the sign of a potential son-in-law! Now, if the kid field strips and cleans your 1911 for ya... EVEN BETTER!
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well im glad im looking at getting a few fire arms and planing on the pistols and concealed carry for when i turn 21 so i guess soon enough il be able to provide that service to fathers... now to find a sane girl...
-matt
 
SR_matt said:
...now to find a sane girl....
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I hate to break this to you but there never has been nor will there ever be sane women. It's the ultimate oxymoron.
 
No kids here...but I imagine teaching the how to write thier name in the snow would be a bit different.:D
 
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