anyone ever depressed over getting old?

Joined
Dec 13, 2003
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Nope..soon to be 49. North Americans have this "aging setpoint". We think chronologically-you've gotta fight that.
 
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There’s a time to live and a time to die
When it’s time to meet the maker
There’s a time to live but isn’t it strange
That as soon as you’re born you’re dying


from Iron Maiden - The Clairvoyant

no need to worry guys, that's life! :)
 
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Jun 17, 2004
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Esav Benyamin said:
Who was it who said, "I look at the obituaries in the morning and if I don't find my name listed I get out of bed."
I believe that it was Pete Seeger:

"How do I know my youth is all spent?
My get up and go has got up and went.
In spite of it all, I'm able to grin,
and think of the places my get up has been.

.......


I wake up each morning and gather my wits,
open the paper and check the obits.
If I'm not there, I know I'm not dead
So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed."
 

hso

Platinum Member
Joined
Dec 16, 1998
Messages
1,056
It goes both ways.

At 47 both my parents, grandparents, and sister have died leaving me the last one in the family. Now I'm having friends go (2 this year). This makes me sad at times. I look at the things I used to do and then the surgeries needed to recover from them and that disturbs me knowing that some of that physical capability is gone. I look at my career and not only see the ceiling, but can just reach up and touch it and it bothers me that to just make another 20% "headroom" would take 80% effort.

Then I "Play George" [Bugs Bunny reference] (wrestle) with my 6 year old daughter clowing around and shoot with my 22 year old son and see so much to discover with them. I look at all the people I've helped and helped keep safe and the greater number of folks that call for advice and help in doing their work safely and feel pretty good about that. I work with my sifu and realize that I wasn't patient or smart enough in my 20's to be smart about how to train or fight like I'm learning to now. I apprecate the new 'real friends' I've gained and treasure the old ones still around. I look at what I've built and the comfort it provides and am satisfied.

Nothing stays the same and it takes effort to fight back entropy, but you can. Don't focus on the material because it's only temporary. Focus on the people in your life and don't worry about the "time". It's not what you did as a "kid", but what you're doing now and what you're working towards that determines if you're happy.
 
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kamkazmoto said:
You aren't even close to old. If I could be any age I wanted it would be about 40, that way I could look forward to 50 and mid-life crisis all over again!




CHILDREN !
Youth is a gift. Old age is an art.



Uncle [ tottering artist ] Alan
 

ptn

Joined
Sep 6, 1999
Messages
389
Something my grandpa used to say is starting to make more sense to me at age 54..."I woke up. I felt pain. That's good, you know." I'm still here after a little touch of cancer 8 years ago. Surgery, chemo and radiation therapy kicked my a$$ but I'll take what I still have over the alternative any day. There are quite a few things I once was able to do that I'm not able to do now but my gravestone still says "He's not here yet." Life may seem a hollow promise sometimes and we all know it will eventually end. If you can manage to find a few good things to focus on, everything does seem brighter. Getting old is a gift that not everyone gets. Better not to waste a minute of life. It's fleeting enough and way too short for many. I remember feeling pretty low and quite sorry for poor me when I learned I had cancer. As I went in the hospital doors I saw a smiling bald 5 year old in wheel chair who must have been going home after what was probably a terrible ordeal. I felt embarrassed. Afterall, I'd already lived 45 fantastic years. Every day is a treat and might be your last. Don't waste single one feeling sorry for yourself. My two cents.
 
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Oct 7, 1998
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Well said PTN
The thoughts and feelings that I and many of us that are survivors of what could have been a lot worse (or still trying to survive) feel whenever we think clearly.
 

howiesatwork

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Jun 16, 2004
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Lots of wisdom from quite a few here.
As ptn said, any day you wake up is a good day.
I'd rather not live through a life of pain, but I'd rather have that than the alternative.
The number one cause of death is life.
I won't worry about dying, but I will fight not to die sooner than I choose.
 
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Apr 24, 2002
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I can't seem to be able to put my feelings into words without sounding entirely stupid. All I can say is that aging really doesn't bother me. My only hope is that I get to do half of what I want to do before my time is up.

Paul
 
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Oct 24, 2004
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Enough already - you are 30 something. You are not married. You literally have the world at your feet - 30 is a good age, you are mature enough (or should be) and you can do what ever you decide to do without worrying about taking care of anyone else. Enjoy it while it lasts!

I know what you mean about the grind - don't get me wrong. BTDT. You just have to resolve yourself & do something about it dude. Find a job you can do from home maybe?!?! Start riding a bicycle to work maybe... Change your routine.

What are your interests? Are you into Martial Arts? How about Shooting - the original American Martial art...? Do you belong to a gym?

Look within. Your emptiness won't be filled by a "something". You can fill it with a 'someone' though - YOU! Figure out what you want. And then start doing it.
 

Dirk

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Mar 19, 1999
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I have to admit, I feel some of what you are feeling. Work is at low point for me after 15 years of what was mostly enjoyable. There are a few other issues that are helping to drag me down. I look back and remember so many good times. That helps for a bit. Then I realize, I won't see those times again. This started for me right after Christmas. So, I am just starting to work my way out. I have a great lady to share these problems with, but she is having a bit of a hard time too. So, I don't want to bring her down. It is a challenge, but I am doing what many have already said. Thinking about what I have. Thinking about things I would like to do. Trying to put myself in a position where I can go into another career. One thing that makes this challenge a little easier, I am not looking to become rich, I just want to be happy. I have been happy before, so I know I can get there. You have been happy before, so you can get there as well.
 
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Nov 24, 2000
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Well, youngsters, I am into my forties for the THIRD time and now consider myself mature. I have had so damn much fun getting to this point that I am looking forward to getting "old" with pleasure. I would gladly re-live any of my "bad" days in order to gain one more "good" one-----Sandy Morrissey
 
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Jan 6, 2001
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I'm 57. I've worried about getting old every day of my life since I turned 40.

(Sorry, but none of the rationalizations, the platitudes, the advice, the personal experiences, the "success" stories have helped one da*mn bit.)

And then I realize two things:

1. I AM old! And there was nothing I could have done to prevent it.
2. As long as I remain reasonably healthy, I WANT to get older, much older, much much older! :cool:

As many have said - consider the alternative.
 
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Oct 30, 2004
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The older guys and gals among you, how do you cope with the loss of your peers ? I mean, it's quite understandable that people do indeed die of age once they're past 50 or 60 or whatever, but how did you cope with loss of your younger friends due to "natural causes" (y'know, suicides, heart attacks, brain strokes, etc.) when you were younger ?

I've seen many different replies here but they were more of the "I this and I that" kind - well, i ( :) ) get all sobby and deeply philosophical and discouraged when one of my peers bites the dust for reasons other than accidents (car crashes, victims of a crime, etc.) and quite some of you are old enough to be my parents. Soooo ... did y'all get impervious to such incidents over time or what ? Life hardly seems meaningful when something like that happens- it only reminds me that humans (homo sapiens) has an average life expectancy of ~30 years over vast majority of its existence, extended b improvement in our living condition in last 10000-2000 years and now artificially by the virtue of drugs and the rest of the medical stuff - we essentially break down around 30 on average but survive longer only due to certain advances, the luxuries of our civilization (and there are people in this world that at this very time don't have the access to same luxiries we do and are still closer to that 30 year cap than they are to "our" 70+ or 80+ life expectancy).

I began to "break down mechanically" a while ago, the loss of few friends and acquaitances really depresses me, it doesn't really take much to lose interest. I'm really eager to hear what it is specifically that y'all have to cope with such issues (not the generic "find a new hobby" answer). Just stop caring about it all because "there was nothing i could have done" ?
 
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Dec 5, 2004
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I hope you're cheered by all the wise responses, Vermont Woodyman ;-)
with such a beautiful name as yours, you should have scored, but now I don't know what you mean by saying you're not married YET - face up to the reality that all that's over now, no more chances of that, and since that it so, the reflection that you won't be around much longer should actually be a consolation to you!
Stoically stone-faced,
t.
 

Esav Benyamin

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Apr 6, 2000
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faramir, you do the best you can with what you've got. Human life is short and fragile. Human intelligence is almost too effective at understanding the risks we face. Human emotions are tailored for group solidarity, which is the best way for a pack animal to thrive.

But dwelling on loss beyond learning what risks to avoid is counterproductive, and an intelligence that cannot turn from what has been lost to what still remains vital is not doing itself or the group any good.

Biologically, an outpouring of grief at death is effective only when it puts an end to itself within a reasonable time.

Honor your dead friends by living the life they can no longer enjoy.
 
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Dec 11, 2002
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If you think your old at 32 wait until you get to my age 71 you'll probaly go out of you mind. Eagle{[:::Blade:::> God Bless America
 
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It is natural to be depressed when a friend or acquaintance dies but do not dwell upon it. Console yourself with that old adage: "There except for the grace of God, go I" . You or your friends are selected when it is their time to go as you will be eventually. The joy of life was left to you when your friends departed, treat the inheritance with reverence and live it to its fullest. Whether you are ten or ninety----"It is later than you think!" ---Sandy Morrissey
 
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Nov 13, 2002
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No. Getting older isn't something I obsess about. It happens whether I notice or not so I just don't bother keeping score.
 
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