Anything Goes - all discussion allowed.

[gundude73]

haha well maybe one day...right now ill still have to sell stuff or trade for something...i dont really like doing either...but ill have some new trade item tomorrow, got 2 Ti anodized kubatons coming in...and i might trade one for a RAT knife

hmm Ti kubatons sound cool. and painful.

 

[dinozzo]

hmm Ti kubatons sound cool. and painful.

haha ill prolly keep the bigger one around...i accually used my streamlight stylus pro like a kubaoton on my friend who was trying to take it...i did the deal where you put it over the wrist and roll.. it worked quite well

So i think i wanna keep one...but i would like to trade or sell the other...

 

[Dizwolf]

whoa. so my girlfriend is playing with my new BM griptilian.... cuts her finger. Looks at it, walks out of the room, then starts bawling like a child, nearly falls over, is a total puddle. this goes on for 45 seconds to a minute and a half. I call her by name, she stands up straight, is now fine, and goes "eh, whats up hunny, herm, this looks like it's stopping."
doesnt recall crying.

I'm currently hiding the keys to the ammo.

 

[MrCoffee]

A bit of Humor: F-16 vs C-130

A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished
with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?

The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130
pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.'

 

[dinozzo]

A bit of Humor: F-16 vs C-130

A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished
with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?

The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130
pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.'

Hahahah thats pretty funny

 

[FortyTwoBlades]

A bit of Humor: F-16 vs C-130

A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished
with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?

The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130
pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.'

Now that's a good one! :thumbup:

 

[Watchmaker]

This from the top of my head, forgot where I found the original. I've cycled for three weeks on Newfoundland in '98 so the humor struck me.



The captain of the USS Nimitz sails along at night, escorted by several other battleships. The weather is severe, visibilty p*ss-poor. He notices the lights of a ship in the distance, straight into the path of the convoy. The captain orders a message out, "USS Nimitz here to undisclosed vessel, you're blocking the route of a US navy convoy, please change your position ASAP. Over."

No response. The light gets gradually brighter, through the torrential rain and waves. "USS Nimitz here to undisclosed vessel, I urgently repeat my request of changing your direction, we have right of way as a military convoy. Please respond."

Total quiet. The light is getting uncomfortably close now, a collission seems almost unavoidable. "THIS IS THE CAPTAIN OF USS NIMITZ NAVAL AIRCRAFT CARRIER. WE ARE BEING ESCORTED BY A 12-SHIP NAVY CONVOY AND CARRY LIVE AMMUNITION WHICH WILL BE USED IF YOU DO NOT GET OUT OF OUR WAY IMMEDIATELY".

* Slight crackle, a distant voice responds * ...Yeah, hi there, we got your message. This is St. John's lighthouse here. Your call...

 

[gundude73]

A bit of Humor: F-16 vs C-130

A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished
with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?

The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130
pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.'

that was good.

 

[Spenceds]

whoa. so my girlfriend is playing with my new BM griptilian.... cuts her finger. Looks at it, walks out of the room, then starts bawling like a child, nearly falls over, is a total puddle. this goes on for 45 seconds to a minute and a half. I call her by name, she stands up straight, is now fine, and goes "eh, whats up hunny, herm, this looks like it's stopping."
doesnt recall crying.

I'm currently hiding the keys to the ammo.

Which model grip did you get, I just got my wife and I a couple 555HG's her's is pink to match her izula, but I was showing her how to use the axis, and she flips it closed but has her finger right in the path of the blade, all I can do is make my eyes real big and go "UM!!!!" The blade stopped with a little pressure on her skin just short of cutting, and she looks at me like she knew what she was doing the whole time and says "What?" I was like you might wanna check where your fingers are next time before you close it. She said I wa just playing with it, I knew what I was doing. I have a feeling I am gonna be playing doctor one of these days.

 

[dinozzo]

Which model grip did you get, I just got my wife and I a couple 555HG's her's is pink to match her izula, but I was showing her how to use the axis, and she flips it closed but has her finger right in the path of the blade, all I can do is make my eyes real big and go "UM!!!!" The blade stopped with a little pressure on her skin just short of cutting, and she looks at me like she knew what she was doing the whole time and says "What?" I was like you might wanna check where your fingers are next time before you close it. She said I wa just playing with it, I knew what I was doing. I have a feeling I am gonna be playing doctor one of these days.

A week or two ago i put a deep gash in the top of my knuckle try to clean up a friends straight razor and i had to super glue it my self and long story short it wouldnt stop bleeding so the super glue turned red and was all around the large cut..and i went to church looking like i got in a fist fight with a wall...i cut my thumb on the same hand to very next day

 

[Spenceds]

LOL that is awesome, yeah I use super glue a lot too. It doesn't mix well with blood. I usually try to get the bleeding stopped before I apply it, makes it easier to squeeze your skin closed too. I put a nice 3 inch slice down the inside of my forearm wrapping my izula, that one wasn't stopping anytime soon, so yeah I had that foamy red crusty stuff on it til it healed. LOL some of us just shouldn't have sharp objects.

 

[mycole]

LOL that is awesome, yeah I use super glue a lot too. It doesn't mix well with blood. I usually try to get the bleeding stopped before I apply it, makes it easier to squeeze your skin closed too. I put a nice 3 inch slice down the inside of my forearm wrapping my izula, that one wasn't stopping anytime soon, so yeah I had that foamy red crusty stuff on it til it healed. LOL some of us just shouldn't have sharp objects.

I guess the lesson on that one is "wrap your Izula while in it's sheath." But what fun would that be, right? Sounds like something I would do...

In other news, if any of y'all are in the I-40 corridor around OK and east, be careful tomorrow, I hear you're in for a doozie...

 

[Spenceds]

I guess the lesson on that one is "wrap your Izula while in it's sheath." But what fun would that be, right? Sounds like something I would do...

In other news, if any of y'all are in the I-40 corridor around OK and east, be careful tomorrow, I hear you're in for a doozie...

LOL, that's the thing it was in it's sheath under my arm, I was pulling the paracord tight and it popped out of the sheath and just slid down my arm, just barely any pressur too and my skin just popped open. Didn't bleed for like 5 seconds then it was on like Donkey Kong.

 

[gundude73]

LOL, that's the thing it was in it's sheath under my arm, I was pulling the paracord tight and it popped out of the sheath and just slid down my arm, just barely any pressur too and my skin just popped open. Didn't bleed for like 5 seconds then it was on like Donkey Kong.

that sounds like a fun day.

 

[dinozzo]

LOL, that's the thing it was in it's sheath under my arm, I was pulling the paracord tight and it popped out of the sheath and just slid down my arm, just barely any pressur too and my skin just popped open. Didn't bleed for like 5 seconds then it was on like Donkey Kong.

haha thats how my knuckle cut was...and then i went to the movies and bumped it on the arm rest and it opened again and i didnt realize it until i felt it drip on my pants...my hand was just covered in red...in the middle of the the movie haha i had to wipe it off on the inside of my hoodie and it left a stain:grumpy:

 

[mycole]

wow... glad you didn't sever a major artery. coulda easily happened from the sounds of it. "like donkey kong." LOL. well, not really funny, but yeah, it kinda is to hear it put that way.

how it didn't bleed for a few reminds me of when i was a kid... 4 years old, living at hill AFB in Utah. my dad was a cop in the air force and he worked nights. he was in bed one morning, mom at work, older sis at school. i was up all alone watching cartoons. i wanted some chips ahoy cookies and was too dense to figure out that you had to bend the white tabs on the sides, roll the bag end and access the goods that way. So i took a meat clever to the bag. Only my index finger got in the way as I was holding the bag and the clever sunk into my finger just after the first knuckle. Now 40 years old, i still have a 1.5 inch scar there. My finger splayed open, exposing bone and it didn't bleed for what seemed like forever... i'm sure it wasn't more than a few seconds but i just stood there in the kitchen in shock, cookie bag dropped to the floor, blade also banging to the floor. I couldn't move. Finally i tumbled into my dad's room and woke him up, telling him i cut myself and he mumbled, "go put a bandaid on it." "Um, dad, I can see the bone." He shot up outa bed so fast and in no time we were in the ER and i had a butt load of stitches in my finger. It's a pretty scar. All for some damn cookies.

 

[jnanson]

COWBOYS AND CHILI------SHORT,BUT FUNNY

Old Oklahoma Cowboys & Chili

A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Western Oklahoma . He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best Okie manner says, "Nah, go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."

 

[Tripton]

Well,

Any bets on who the troll was?

 

[KEmSAT-Survival]

The Camel and the Elephant:

One day at the zoo an elephant walks up to a camel and says: "I've always meant to ask you this...why are your tits on your back? Don't you think that's a little dumb looking?"

The camel stops chewing for a second, eyeballs the elephant and says:

"That's some real shit coming from a motherf--ker with a limp dick on his face."



Thank you, thank you, I'm here all night.

 

[mycole]

I'm new here so I have no idea, but I'm guessing you know...

christ on crutches he wasted no time did he... lord have mercy.