bad posts and apologies are over done

Richard

Richard

BOUNCED EMAIL: I need to update my email address in my profile!
Joined
Oct 3, 1998
Messages
1,742
This trend towards posting an offensive post and then saying, "oh, im sorry" is getting a little out of hand. You know the type:

Somebody posts: Knifemaker (insert name here) is ripping off (insert name here), or: This knifemaker or dealer (insert name here) is a jerk.

After the avbove type of post is made, it always follows that somebody responds saying, hey, that type of post is uncalled for, or, take it to private email.

Then the original poster who posted the offensive post in the first place comes back and says, "Oh, I apologize to all forum members and admin. for my offensive post, I should not have done it."

Then somebody always responds to the apology with "gee, thats ok, it takes real honor to apologize...blah, blah blah."

From now on if you are going to post, think for a second if you think somebody is going to be offended. Remember this is the 90s, so somebody is always going to be offended. I agree that any personal problems should be taken to email, however, if you feel so strongly that you have to post it on the forum, then be prepared to stand by your statement. It has become all to common now for people to make a post expressing thier opinion, and then saying, oh im sorry. From now on, think about what you are gonna say. If you say it, mean it and stand by it. If you dont think you can do that then you should not make the post in the first place.

Moderators, ease up on the locked posts. If somebody posts something that nobody agrees with, then other memebers will let them know. I know you have to monitor for trolls. Somebody who makes a post only to start a fight. But if you think a poster it just telling his TRUE feelings, then you should let the post stand, and the poster can take any heat that come his way. That is just the price of giving your opinion.

Ok, prime example. HAMMERDEADKNIVES says "Lynn's knives are a rip off of Newt's knives". I respect HAMMERHEADS opinion. I dont agree with it, but I respect his right to say it if thats how he feels. IMO Lynn's knives are not rip offs at all. If HAMMERHEAD really thinks that, then he should not apologize for how he feels. HAMMERHEAD made the post, and if he takes heat from other members for it then so be it. Im sure if he feels strongly enough that he is right, then he can take the heat.

In closing I would say, I agree that if you have a problem with somebody then take it to email. If you just think you HAVE to post it, then be prepared to deal with. If you really think you are right, then dont come apologize after the fact for giving you honest opinion.

Richard
 
Well, I would like to apologize for ever apologizing, as I usually mean what I say the first time
wink.gif


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James Segura
San Francisco, CA


 
I agree. This kind of behavior isn't limited to the forums. It seems to be acceptable behavior in our society. It is too easy to do what one feels like without fear of punishment, and then apologize and make it all better. Bill Clinton is a prime example.

I also agree that you shouldn't apologize for saying something that you mean. True, it takes a man to admit he is wrong, but it also takes a man to stand up for what he believes especially when it is not a popular view.



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Dennis Bible
Knoxville, Tennessee


 
Richard,
You suggest we think before we post, that's a very good idea. I'm going to try that. If I had done that all along, I sure wouldn't be a Senior Member.
James,
It takes a real man, to admit to being wrong about being wrong, and be sorry about it. There is a lesson to be learned here. Though I have no idea, what it is.
 
I think Richards statements have a great deal of insight. Lately when I read "offensive" posts, I been thinking, "man, what a jerk...why doesn't he/she get off the forum."
I guess if someone is so upset or so passionate about something they have the right to say it, even if it will offend other members. I also agree that if someone makes some kind of strong, controversial post, then they should not turn around the next day and say "sorry, I was out of line." One should either think before they post, or be ready to defend their statements.
I also agree with Mike Turber, if someone has a gripe with a specific manufacturer or maker, it should be taken to "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" forum, because that's really where it belongs.
I think in the heat of discussion, our passion for knives (which is the reason we are all here) clouds our better judgement and we react without first thinking. Please, think a little before you post, I feel that this will help lessen tension on the forum.

Just my thoughts,
Mitch
 
I think the real problem here is that the art of the insult has been lost.

Offending someone should be more like a knife in the back than a brick to the head.

There is also a lot to be said for never admitting you are wrong.

There should be no apology for genuine, heartfelt feelings of dislike, however, there is little room for them here.

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"If they do these things in a green tree, what will they do in a dry?"
 
Great post Rich but it takes a lot more courage to say something and stand by it
than to wimp out and apologize and hope it goes away. If you feel man enough to take a shot at somebody on a personal level expect similar treatment. If you believe what you say is the truth defend it or don't say it.
 
Maybe we could ask Darrel Ralph to make us a limited run of "Extreme Apologee" folders.

smile.gif


Dew.
 
LOL! Ya got me Dew!
smile.gif


Seriously though, everyone needs to stop apologizing for what they say, its making me sick. Don't sell out your beliefs for the sake of saving face.

Later,
John
 
I disagree with personal attacks on the forum as this wasn't why it was intended. If a person has a problem with a maker, factory knife, or individual, they should privately try to rectify it first before going to the "forum". There is no perfect knife or maker. I'm referring here to several incidents I've read about recently.

I've had problems with knives before, and had the situation rectified without ever having to air it out here. This should be a last resort only.

Let's stick with the facts and our experiences about knives and leave our egos and macho bullcrap out of this. I've learned more about knives from this forum than any other source over the last 9 months and I get tired of a few bad eggs spoiling a good thing.

Sorry if I offended.

 
If you have a grudge why bring the whole forum into it? I come here because I have an interest in knives, not to fight with people or read other peoples arguments. There is no reason to come to the forums and simply insult someone or call their products rip offs. If you want to do that do it privately. There are to many other people that don't want be or shouldn't be involved in a problem that you have personally.Give what ever opinions you have as long as it isn't a personal attack on someone. And if someone disagrees with you, don't take it personally.Arguments don't have to be bad. Some of the most interesting threads are the ones where there are alot of different opinions and everyone can debate on it.Just don't let it get to name calling and saying things just to make the other person look bad. Noboday benefits from that.

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Fix it right the first time, use Baling Wire !
 
I rather read the offensive posts than the apology posts any day. Apology posts have to be the most boring posts there are
Cann't we all just get along.....ICK
 
Ewok, thank you for your kind words.
smile.gif


Keep 'em coming!

And please feel free not to apologise.
wink.gif


BTW, I fixed the broken link that you were so kind as to inform me of.

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"If they do these things in a green tree, what will they do in a dry?"

[This message has been edited by D. Epstein (edited 05 December 1999).]
 
It`s kind of discouraging to hear that apologizing is considered being less than a man. I believe it`s just civilized behavior. There is no shame in walking away from a fight, and there ought not be any shame in retracting an ill conceived post. Everyone here deserves a second chance if they truly want one.

The rules of this forum are pretty simple. Personal attacks aren`t tolerated. This forum is unique in that respect. It makes it a very tolerable place spend time. If you need to attack, there`s always personal email and there are other forums that welcome hostile posting. I`d like to believe that this forum`s steady growth is a result of it`s being run in a civil manner.

 
Hind site is always 2020. I know I have made my share of mistakes and I agree that it seems that there is a lot of apologies of late.

The forum does not allow for body language. All we can do is add a smiley or two in our message and hope it is seen in the right light. Also being behind a keyboard makes us a little less cordual at times. We tend to say what we feel at the moment knowing that we would not say the same things face to face. In some ways that is a good thing because it makes us more honest at times. At other times it backfires.

Either way, it would be wise to read your post out loud to yourself or let someone else read it, like your wife, before you post. That has saved me some embarassment on ocasion.

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Mike Turber
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I'll jump in here one more time- I think is sucked to accuse a knifemaker of ripping off another and apologize without proving the accusation or letting the accused defend himself. That's kind of like the lawyer saying something that is stricken from the records but the jury still remembers. If you believe something to be true why apologize? If you can't stand up for your beliefs because it makes you unpopular it's kind of cowardly. Knives and knifemakers are what this forum is all about and serious accusations such as that should be addressed out of fairness the knifemaker who is supposed to be ripped off and the accused.
A knifemakers good name is very important to his ability to make a living and caution should be used before making such an accusation. But if it is made the person should be ready to stand up to what was said.
Moderators locking such a thread is very unfair to the knikfemaker that was accused. I saw no forum rules broken.

[This message has been edited by TomW (edited 05 December 1999).]
 
Howdy,
If someone posts, then realizes that he/she has offended someone, there's not a thing wrong with apologizing for it.

Don't discourage people apologizing for things they didn't mean.

Thinkin' this is my shortest post ever,
VG

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Vampire Gerbil: Nosferatus Rodentus Moderatus; similar to a domestic gerbil, except for the odd accent and little black cape.


 
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