Bartender, where the hells my drink?

The bear does look pretty content.

The problem is that I'm not sure the bear can get out of a swiming pool.
 
shaldag said:
Oughtta keep her there. She looks happy, and it oughtta prevent people fromm peeing in the pool.
:D
Click to expand...
Put a stop to those scummy neighbours wanting to come over and swim all the time too!
 
"Homeowner Maryam Salahael pulled her children out of the pool when the bear showed up..."

That's not good...Maybe the bear was hungry, and could have used a snack.:D.:D.
 
Here, Delaware River, I,ve seen one go into the river and sit for a while to cool off then swim across .It takes little time or effort for a deer or bear to swim across the river [ 200 yds] though if they don't want to get wet they take the bridge !! The response of people in seeing a bear seems to go to two extremes .Some want to hug it and feed it [never feed them !] and some think the bear will attack them. Most will ignore you.
 
This was all over local TV. One of the reporters said something like, "authorities are not sure how the bear got to the home.."

Uh, she frigging walked, don't you think?
 
IamMatt said:
This was all over local TV. One of the reporters said something like, "authorities are not sure how the bear got to the home.."

Uh, she frigging walked, don't you think?
Click to expand...


No. To answer that question, we need.... (a drum roll please)..... TALKING HEADS. "We have a satellite link to Professor Robert Smith, bear expert from UCLA. Professor, thank you for joining us. Professor, can you confirm that this animal is, indeed, a bear?"

"I've reviewed the footage and, in my professional opinion and based on years of study..."

"Professor, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but we now go LIVE to the scene where the Sherif is about to hold a news conference..."
 
trane fan said:
I must disagree. It's quite obvious that Big Foot carried her to the house so that she could have a nice leisurely swim away from all the horny mountain bears.
Click to expand...

Following that very informative press conference where Sheriff's officials confirmed that the bear was actually IN the swimming pool, we now return to Jeffery Blowdry in studio. From the Sheriff's office, I'm Janice Goodbody reporting...

Thank you Janice. Cable Nothing Network's 24/7 coverage of the Bear story continues. Confidential sources now tell us that the bear was carried to the pool by Big Foot. Joining us in the studio now is noted Big Foot expert Rodney Ridiculous. So, Rodney, what can you tell us about this latest development?
 
Gollnick said:
Following that very informative press conference where Sheriff's officials confirmed that the bear was actually IN the swimming pool, we now return to Jeffery Blowdry in studio. From the Sheriff's office, I'm Janice Goodbody reporting...

Thank you Janice. Cable Nothing Network's 24/7 coverage of the Bear story continues. Confidential sources now tell us that the bear was carried to the pool by Big Foot. Joining us in the studio now is noted Big Foot expert Rodney Ridiculous. So, Rodney, what can you tell us about this latest development?
Click to expand...
I have nothing relevent to report on this alleged bear and it's sexual relationship with Big Foot but I can tell you that Depends are very warm and comfortable when you pee in them. Kinda' like a wearable hot tub.
 
K.V. Collucci said:
I have nothing relevent to report on this alleged bear and it's sexual relationship with Big Foot but I can tell you that Depends are very warm and comfortable when you pee in them. Kinda' like a wearable hot tub.
Click to expand...
Well....the ratings for that news program just went through the roof! :eek: :D ;)
 
Thank you Mr. Ridiculous, The CNN (Cable Nothing Network) Bigfoot expert.

Now, Professor Smith, what can you tell us about Bears and Depends and Hot Tubs?

"Well, on page 789 of volume three of my book on the subject, I clearly show that there is a statistical cause-and-effect relationship between bears and..."

"Excuse me, Professor, but as our 24/7 coverage of this breaking story continues, we need to go back live to the scene with Janice Goodbody live via satellite link. Janice, can you hear me?" (satellite delay)

"Yes, Jeffery..." (garble, garble, garble)

"Janice, we appear to be having technical difficulties with our satellite link. Let's turn back to Professor Smith. Professor, is there any relationship between Bears and Bigfoot?"

"DNA analysis isn't possible, of course, since we don't have a Bigfoot to actually examine. However, applying the general principles of evolution and recent theories in this field that have come out of the work of noted authorities and major universities and research institutions allows us to make some conclusions leading us to believe that"

"Excuse me, Professor, that is fascinating, but we seem to have the Satellite Link to the scene re-established. Let's go back to Janice Goodbody live at the scene. Are you there Janice?" (Satellite delay)

"Yes, Jeff, I can hear you now." (satellite delay)

"Janice, I'm told there have been some significant new developments at the swiming pool. Can you bring us up-to-date?" (satellite delay)

"Yes, Jeff. As you can see in the background, they are now actually cleaning out the swiming pool filter. Some of the muck you see there might actually contain bear hair! If it does, we'll come back live the moment that news breaks as we continue our 24/7 coverage of this breaking story. Now back to Jeffry Blowdry in the studio."
 
Now, a quick comment from Larry King

"Whenever I get in the hot tub, I always wear Depends, who knows when a bear carried by Bigfoot will come by? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top