Beckerhead Lame Joke Thread

[Jonny1280]

A pirate walks into a bar bar with a steering wheel on his crotch.
Bartender says “Hey buddy, what’s with the steering wheel on the crotch? That’s really gotta be uncomfortable!”

Pirate says,”Arrr matey! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

 

[justjed]

Two guys walk into a bar.

The first one I can understand, but you'd have thought
the second guy would have had sense enough to duck.

A baby seal walks into a club......

 

[eveled]

I had a kid with no arms or legs on my little league team. He was first base.

I dated a Chinese girl with one leg shorter then the other. Her name was Irene.

 

[LG&M]

If you throw him in the water his name is Bob

If you throw him at the right angle his name is Skip

 

[LG&M]

Ever notice how ducks fly in a V?
Ever notice one side is longer?
Do you know why?



More ducks on that side.

 

[1066vik]

Do you know how to keep a beckerhead in suspense?

 

[LG&M]

No how?

 

[GeofS]

What did the dyslexic devil worshipper do?

Sold his soul to Santa.

 

[Tanker 1/66]

What did the dyslexic devil worshipper do?

Sold his soul to Santa.

I saw a bumper sticker. DAM Mothers against dyslexia

 

[1066vik]

Do you know how to keep a beckerhead in suspense?

No how?

did it work?

 

[LG&M]

Tell me how & I will let you know, I've been waiting.

 

[fielder]

I love these jokes, keep them coming.

How do you make a pirate really angry?

Remove the p.

 

[JD Miller]

Geese not ducks

 

[Dr Rez]

Jimmy was excited because his grandmother was coming to visit for the holidays. After a great dinner everyone went off to bed, however Jimmy couldn't sleep so he got up to go to the bathroom and walked by his dads room and saw his mom and dad having sex. His dad started laughing upon seeing his horrified face.

The next night was another fun meal with grandmas wonderful cooking. Everyone ate so much they went to bed early! Jimmy's dad woke up in the middle of the night having to pee really bad. He walked by his moms room and saw Jimmy in bed with with her. Jimmy looked back at his Dad and yelled NOT SO FUNNY WHEN IM HAVING SEX WITH YOUR MOM!

 

[Roguer]

A polite quiet veagan.

 

[GeofS]

What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?

The same thing she had for Thanksgiving, roast twerky.

 

[Spankster23]

My buddy told me the other day, that his son is a “man trapped in a women’s body”...

His wife is due in February.

 

[Nsvens89]

What is a mennonites favorite kind of raisin?.....

A barn raising!

 

[GeofS]

How is your job like Christmas?

You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit takes all the credit.

 

[GeofS]