WARNING LABEL:
Please be advised that my premises may contain nuts. anyone entering without invitation may be consumed by wild animals.
or the resident human. hidden trip hazards abound and anyone falling may land on a sharp pointy object. a sharp pointy object may land on you at any time.
anyone bleeding on the premises may be charged for forensic clean-up and disposal of extraneous severed body parts.
also be advised the local sheriff is a cousin, the judge is my bother, and the prosecutor is my son. the last car thief in our county got life for stealing a car. the judge wanted to hang him, as it was his car, but we talked him into leniency. didn't help tho. he committed suicide by hanging himself in his cell. we're still tryin' to figure out how he did it with his hands and feet handcuffed behind his back. ah, well THAT didn't matter either, as he'd made sure of it by shooting himself in the back with a shotgun from 20 ft. away, managed that without leaven any finger prints too.
p.s. - watch out for the clamores. and yes, that is det cord runnin in the ditches alongside the road, justincase anyone has any ideas of ambushin' from there.
good luck, y'all. gotta go now. the lion is hungry and his food is screaming. might wake up the neighbors if there were any within 20 miles. there ain't. just trees, bottomless lakes and lots of swamp and water moccasins. no allygators tho. the piranha et them all. even the dire wolves won't go in the water no more after they et the sabre tooth.